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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To invite friends' former boss to my birthday when they didn't get on?

59 replies

Wauden · 16/09/2019 22:40

I am having a birthday dinner party and two friends are coming. These two friends had a boss they didn't get on with, years ago. I don't know too much detail, but they said he cherry-picked the best projects for himself and generally didn't hit it off.

Now I am friendly with this man (two friends' ex boss) and have met him and his partner socially and get on fine. I would like to invite this man and his partner, and some other people we have in common... I can't really invite the people 'people in common' without inviting the former boss!
AIBU to invite this man knowing that my two friends didn't get on with him?!?
AIBU to not mention it beforehand to them?
Or is it a case of, it's my party anyway and I can I invite whoever I want?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wauden · 17/09/2019 08:40

verticality Exactly my thoughts. He was not a bully or unkind or they would have told me, I know that. If he had been then I would not even have him as a friend myself ad I would not like that person for what he did to friends.
He cherry picked work they said, but actually that's a boss' prerogative.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wauden · 17/09/2019 08:43

He has always been kind to me.

OP posts:
Juells · 17/09/2019 08:48

HRTFT but I don't understand why you'd do this. Sounds almost malicious.

You definitely need to warn your friends so they an turn down your invitation.

Original poster
Wauden · 17/09/2019 08:54

Juells, I will not be inviting him now.

OP posts:
Juells · 17/09/2019 08:59

Apologies for not RTFT - too many interesting ones that I'm trying to read, and they've got so long before I have a chance to get to them!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/09/2019 09:21

I think you've made the right choice - have a separate event that you can invite the boss and friends-in-common to.

BUT - to avoid this situation in the future, do tell your 2 friends that this has come up - it might all be a total storm in a teacup and they're completely over it - no point second guessing them another time!

Loopytiles · 17/09/2019 09:23

YWBU to invite him.

myohmywhatawonderfulday · 17/09/2019 09:59

I agree that I think you are making a better choice not inviting him.

You are free to choose but you are not free from the consequences of that choice - and all that.

Shakennotshook · 17/09/2019 11:05

Do you know him through your friends?

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