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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think having a baby has made me stupid

56 replies

CluelessNewMama · 16/09/2019 20:05

Since giving birth 3 months ago my brain has just gradually turned to mush. I used to think of myself as intelligent and pretty quick witted. Today somebody asked me my age and I genuinely didn’t know, I had to phone my mum. I got my daughters birthday wrong on her passport application. I can’t think of the words for anything. I can barely form a sentence, it took me 15 minutes to type this. I feel like my IQ has genuinely plummeted. Is this reversible or should I prepare for a lifetime of stupidity?

OP posts:
hammeringinmyhead · 16/09/2019 20:07

How much sleep are you getting? In chunks of how long?

I felt like an alien had taken over my brain for the first 3 months but felt normal again by 6.

Mumofboth · 16/09/2019 20:09

You have baby brain, it’s totally real. Your baby is still very small so your life is probably in the newborn bubble. But you suddenly have so much more to do on so little sleep. It gets easier, eventually you become capable of real conversations and thinking straight. Don’t worry, enjoy the new madness.

userabcname · 16/09/2019 20:10

Haha I was like this! Sleep deprivation and hormones are a killer combo. I once took my DS to the shops where a lady started cooing over him and asked his name - I could not for the life of me remember! I went blank, panicked and said "Jack!" His name is not Jack. The whole time I was in town I kept calling him Jack in case we bumped into the same lady again and she thought I was mad! It does get better so don't worry.

weltenbummler · 16/09/2019 20:10

Baby brain - it will pass after a few weeks of solid sleep...your baby's and yours!

Lwmommy · 16/09/2019 20:15

It's a real thing and will get better, at that stage I made myself coffee with cold water on several occasions, just forgot to turn the kettle on and didn't register when I walked back into the kitchen and made it that the kettle and water were still cold.

Stuff went into random places, like socks in the fridge or milk in the cupboard.

Baby brain!

Mamasaurus82 · 16/09/2019 20:24

Sleep deprivation is the worst for that. You might want to look at how well you are functioning/ getting through the day on very little sleep and give uourself some credit. You are learning lots of special mummy talents all the time. I noticed lots of things i was much better at once i went back to work- eg. time management, more understanding and multi- tasking. You'll gradually get rid of the blurry feeling and realise becoming a mother has made you an even better version of you!CakeBrew

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 16/09/2019 20:39

Dont underestimate the effect of bad sleep on your brain. I could barely remember how to speak

managedmis · 16/09/2019 20:41

Yeah, I'm the same... DD is 2 and DS is 5...it doesn't improve!

whatswithtodaytoday · 16/09/2019 20:42

Yes. It's not just sleep deprivation either - my six month old usually sleeps through, but my brain doesn't work like it used to. I assume it's because it's full up thinking for him as well as me all day.

I used to be interested in politics and literature. Now I barely know what's going on in politics and haven't read a book since he was born 😭

Buddytheelf85 · 16/09/2019 20:43

Glad to hear this has happened to others. My son is just over 7 weeks old and I can barely form coherent sentences or do basic maths.

RogueV · 16/09/2019 20:45

Same.
Can’t remember people’s names or child’s DOB.
Don’t know how I even managed my highly intelligent skilful job.
As for reading a book... after reading the same line over and over I have given up and will stick to MN for now. ConfusedHmm

urbosa · 16/09/2019 20:47

My daughter is 2 and sleeps through and I forgot the word for "rain" last week.

"Wet falling from the sky" is what I came up with

CarolineKate · 16/09/2019 20:49

My son is nearly 2 and I still feel this way. I've taken up studying online because I was actually get worried about how slow I was becoming!! Maybe do some brain training games on your phone?

transformandriseup · 16/09/2019 20:49

I had this in the first few weeks. I remember parking my car in town and just walking off without paying despite parking there for years and buying a ticket. I did eventually remember and managed to get back in time.

hammeringinmyhead · 16/09/2019 20:59

Yeah, I forgot to pay to park last month actually...

Original poster
CluelessNewMama · 16/09/2019 22:51

Glad it’s not just me. The baby brain is real! Some of the more ridiculous things I have done recently:

  • Spent ages looking for my car outside the supermarket before realising that I walked there
  • Thought my car was broken down because it wouldn’t start before realising I just hadn’t turned the ignition on (I have done this many many times)
  • Been outraged that a restaurant lost our reservation before checking my email confirmation and realising I had booked the wrong day, and wrong place.

Naturally, my husband thinks this is all hilarious.

OP posts:
NearlyGranny · 16/09/2019 23:19

You're probably just sleep-deprived. After no 3, I was driving my 3yo twins home from nursery and wanted to tell them we'd stop and get them some sweets.

I couldn't find the word 'shop' anywhere in my head. I was afraid I might be having a stroke at the wheel. I was just stupidly tired.

Once she started sleeping through, my brain came back, almost as good as before.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/09/2019 23:21

Are you getting enough sleep?
Are you getting enough liquid?

justheretostalk · 17/09/2019 01:02

Haha I was like this! Sleep deprivation and hormones are a killer combo. I once took my DS to the shops where a lady started cooing over him and asked his name - I could not for the life of me remember! I went blank, panicked and said "Jack!" His name is not Jack. The whole time I was in town I kept calling him Jack in case we bumped into the same lady again and she thought I was mad! It does get better so don't worry.

This made me LOL! For about six months after my daughter was born I kept calling her ‘Renee’. I have NO IDEA why. I do t even like the name Renee (no offence to any Renee’s!) and it was never ever on my name list. Confused
I’m quite sure everyone thought I was barking.

BogglesGoggles · 17/09/2019 01:06

Yep, pretty much. I have g fully recovered and youngest is three. I am worried that I might have brain damage

Broken11Girl · 17/09/2019 01:37

Actually imo this sounds concerning, more than just baby brain.
Could you have pnd? Depression doesn't necessarily present with feeling sad (although you might be), emotional numbness, exhaustion and cognitive issues can be symptoms. Or you might have a thyroid issue or vitamin deficiency etc. Worth a trip to the GP.

JustMe81 · 17/09/2019 01:56

Baby brain is definitely real. I was just starting to feel normal again when I fell pregnant. Now at 30 weeks with a 2 year I have just about enough brain cells to make it through the day.

goldopals · 17/09/2019 02:05

I called your roadside assist because my car would start and immediately the engine would shut off. I forgot to have the clutch on for a manual car...

ineedtoeatnow · 17/09/2019 02:35

Google 'pregnancy brain shrink' op!

grandmasterstitch · 17/09/2019 03:20

I called my DS the name of my friends baby regularly for weeks. It was hilarious and embarrassing at the same time. They're 19 months and 22 months now and I call my friends son my DS name regularly Grin