To think having a baby has made me stupid

[CluelessNewMama]

Since giving birth 3 months ago my brain has just gradually turned to mush. I used to think of myself as intelligent and pretty quick witted. Today somebody asked me my age and I genuinely didn’t know, I had to phone my mum. I got my daughters birthday wrong on her passport application. I can’t think of the words for anything. I can barely form a sentence, it took me 15 minutes to type this. I feel like my IQ has genuinely plummeted. Is this reversible or should I prepare for a lifetime of stupidity?

Son is almost 4 weeks. Forgot the word for “carpet” last week. Trying to get out for walks with him and listen to political podcasts while I am on the go!

I used to start a sentence and not finish it, forget words etc...it's happening again now I'm peri menopausal 😕

I have major baby brains since having my son almost 4 months ago.

Have left the keys in the car ignition twice overnight and ordered 2 of the same baby carriers on eBay forgetting I had already made an offer for one!

I used to be so on the ball and organised too 😂

I had really bad baby brain after the birth of my first child. I had a pph, and then the immediate care of s baby. I remember trying to go for a walk on day 3 and just not having any strength to do it. So I assumed me forgetting all my passwords for everything and other stupid stuff I did was down to still recovering. I also had some vitamin deficiency.

I did silly things due to being tired after the others were born but not in the same league. Quite literally feeling like my brain had stopped working as opposed to, where did I put my keys for the millionth time.

Maybe there’s something physical going on that’s affecting your brain? You could ask the GP and see if you can get a blood test just in case it’s not just being tired.

Haha omg I have been there for sure. I used to forget what I was saying half way through a sentence. Even my GP says baby brain is totally real. Massive hormonal changes combined with sleep deprivation and you're not going to be at your best. But it does ease, I promise!

Totally real.
I once rang my mum in a panic because I couldn't find my phone.......yep let that one sink in. She was howling laughing.
Never been able to live that one down

My three year old has never slept through, I also have a baby. I just about manage to do my (middle management) job.

But I have completely lost names in the last maternity leave. I’m struggling to remember names of people I’ve worked with for ages.

I feel like I cant pronounce any words I don't use regularly.
It's like my mouth can't form them.
I'm sure I used to be quicker witted, funnier, smarter.
I have a 2yo and a 5mo and I'm up at least 8 times in the night and sleep between 8pm and 4am, but with all the waking in between.
I was a bitch yesterday and on the verge of just crying while rocking the 5mo.
DH left a drawer open in the bedroom after he'd got himself some clothes. I would normally tell him to sort his shit out, but I went ballistic. I just feel like everything's getting on top of me and I'm normally a very positive person, but the lack of sleep is almost painful.

I totally relate and had to fill in my child's passport form 4 times.

My vocabulary completely dried up. I remember trying to explain something about my hallway to a friend but couldn't for the life of me remember the word 'hallway'. For some bizarre reason the only word I could come up with was 'vestibule'. WTF..

Where I live in Asia, they say having a baby makes you stupid for three years. I have found it to be absolutely true!

I got a phone call from the visa people for not paying my credit card bill. I insisted I had. I checked my online banking. I had not. My baby started to scream. I started to cry. The nice lady at the bank cancelled my late payment charge and helped me set up a minimum payment direct debit. I think she must have been there at one point.

I also left the house without wearing shoes on several occasions.

Three times I have walked to the bus stop to get the bus into town, got on the bus, sat down, and realised I forgot the baby bag. Every time I've had to explain to the driver, walk back home (5 mins), get the bag, walk back to the next bus and explain to the next driver what I did 🙄

Same here OP. I can't recall any words more than 2 syllables. It's mostly sleep deprivation. It will come back when you start getting some sleep and spending more time with adults.

I forgot names. Walked around the house looking for nappies while holding a pack of nappies. And lost my keys/phone/wallet daily only to find them in my handbag. Where they always are.

7 months in and I’m still struggling. So far I have lost 3 sets of keys. Yesterday I lost the 3rd set (and determined to be my last) twice. TWICE. And I’d put them in the most RANDOM places. I’ve never been scatty like this. I nearly cried. Even my dog looked concerned for me.

Oh and I regularly put tea bags in the fridge and milk in cupboard. Which DH found hilarious

lol BettyBoozer ‘vestibule’ 😂

I tried to lock the back door with a fork. then put dishwasher tablets in the cat's bowl
Every day I remind myself that I used to be clever.

I am definitely stupider than pre-baby. I used to be an intelligent & capable woman, now I barely manage my job (just admin) and keeping us all alive

My baby has slept through from 10 weeks so it's not sleep deprivation, my brain just doesn't work as well anymore 😩

It's understandable to be a bit befuddled and sleep-deprived, OP. Your life has just changed massively!

Mind you, one of the most helpful things anyone ever said to me was "Don't let anyone talk you into believing all that baby brain shit. You're as good at your job as you ever were". That was from a woman at work when I came back after maternity leave. I'd never even liked her much but that was a tremendous gift she gave me, because she was right. I'd been convincing myself that I wasn't "clever" anymore because I was just some "ditsy mummy", but I've done my best work since having my DC. My memory is a bit worse because I have more on my plate but I'm more focused and have more of an incentive to manage my time.

I was always told that it was natures way of making sure that all you did was take care of your baby . Don't know if its true but it made me feel better when i forgot to do things .

I don't think you get stupid. Your brain just rewires. I used to be very single minded: always focused on one thing at a time. Being a parent requires you to split your focus which means you don't have the same amount of attention. Sleep deprivation at the start doesn't help either! I remember taking a poorly 8 week old to urgent care and being really stressed and telling them by mistake that he was a girl!!!

Btw the belief that having a baby makes you stupid is a classic example of internalised misogyny!

It comes back. Long-term sleep deprivation tends to make people do silly things. Also you’re still recovering from the birth really. You might feel fine and be doing things as normal but it takes a long time for the body to fully recover. I also think your world tends to become smaller on mat leave. Suddenly just popping to the shops can become an achievement. It’s all just different really but it goes by very quickly.

Yes. Though I’d remember the minutiae of my DC’s needs and friends’ babies - x has a Doctor’s appointment to discuss their eczema next Tuesday, y has gone to visit their aunt and mum is a bit worried because they’re vegan - but I couldn’t remember my own birthday.