To think that 1st Cousin Marriage should be illegal

[stucknoue]

Background: as part of my job I rent out halls, they are very popular for Asian parties and weddings and my clients are lovely, often bringing me food and inviting me to their celebrations.

Over the past couple of months I've unfortunately had to rent the hall for child funeral meals twice to the same family, the kids were cousins and had the same rare genetic condition. In talking to their grandad he revealed that he and his wife were cousins, then going on to tell me that the parents of the sadly deceased children were also cousins. I looked up that cousin marriage increases genetic conditions 3 fold, the more generations that have practiced it then the higher the probability. With our knowledge of science surely this practice should be outlawed?

@Drabarni, it's not surprising that your DNA includes what it does if you are Romany. It shouldn't have been that much of a shock.

I just don't get the idea that 'you can't tell other people how to live' when ignoring it effectively legitimises human suffering.

It's not just cousins. Its children of two sisters who marry 2 brothers that are cousins and then they marry their children to each other. Its biologically more than occasional cousins marrying. Watching these poor babies die and their families mourning is horrific.

It's not about racism its about preventing suffering

Isn't it illegal in the UK on the grounds of consanguinity?

Grumpy

It was a huge shock, because as I said my family for generations have been born in the UK.

We must see it differently, I guess.
However, laws are laws and I agree that we need to be a civilised society against evil.
Marrying a cousin isn't evil though and has nothing to do with what many have been posting about.

I wonder how this law would be governed, cousins could still have children together and not be married. Would there be forced terminations or sterilisation for future generations to make sure the next set of cousins didn't get together.
It's ridiculous to try and out law normal cultural norms like this.

Isn't it illegal in the UK on the grounds of consanguinity?

No, first cousin marriage is legal in the UK

Nope.

Second and first cousin marriages are legal.

While many people are concentrating on Pakistani Muslims, it must be pointed out that there are a number of religious and ethnic communities which have this problem.

Small English towns across the country have high prevalence of certain conditions amongst the indigenous white community that can only come from in breeding.

Consanguinous marriages, if they are 'one off' aren't really a problem, but generations of in breeding with cousins, second cousins and so on are a genuine life limiting concern.

Cousin marriages need to be banned for the forseeable future.

More serious punishment for FGM hasn’t resulted in a great deal of prosecutions but don’t think anybody has argued against it. It’s difficult to know the effect but not crazy to think it might have led to a decrease in such practice even it hasn’t eradicated it completely. Might as well have no laws at all if some people still break them by some of the dumb logic on here.

YANBU. There is a high incidence of genetic problems in the city I live in because of this. One of my colleagues is married to his first cousin.

Definitely agree. It’s weird and could make Christmas dinner very weird if they divorce!

The reason for cousin marriages down multiple generations in certain Asian communities is economic. It keeps assets within the family.

People have suggested that if cousin marriage was illegal families would simply opt for religious ceremonies. However all the financial benefits of marriage - inheritance tax, for example - only apply to legally married couples. Solely religious ceremonies wouldn't achieve the desired result and cousin marriage would become far less attractive. This would reduce the pressure on women in these communities significantly.

I have a friend who works in a unit where the great majority of the badly damaged children she treats come from Asian families. She finds it very frustrating that when staff try to advise families very often the response is "Yes, two of our DC are very disabled but the other two are fine so it can't be anything to do with genes". She says families really don't want to deal with the information. They're too invested in a long standing cultural practice.

It's true that a one off cousin marriage is unlikely to result in genetic problems but the same is true of sibling marriage and that's illegal and for much the same reasons.

The fact that it may not be easy to enforce a law doesn't make that law pointless. If it did we might as well make rape legal given the dismal conviction rate for sex offences.

I don't think cousin marriage as such is so dangerous; it does increase the risk of birth defects and disorders, but no more than some other factors like high maternal age. What is really problematic is when cousin marriages are repeated through several generations. I don't think that one should make this illegal as such - after all, you may be able to prevent marriages but you can't prevent people from reproducing, and we don't want to get to a stage where children with (say) only 4 or 5 great-grandparents are treated as pariahs and probably neglected, like many children of unmarried parents in the past. However, doctors and the media should publicize the risks.

Yanbu, OP.

It’s just bloody awful.

One of my friends works in genetic testing at a major hospital. Her work has flipped from screenings for known hereditary conditions to the vast amount of "inter family" pregnancies her hospital is having to deal with. Makes me shudder.

YABVU.

It's true that a one off cousin marriage is unlikely to result in genetic problems but the same is true of sibling marriage and that's illegal and for much the same reasons.

The fact that it may not be easy to enforce a law doesn't make that law pointless. If it did we might as well make rape legal given the dismal conviction rate for sex offences.

I agree with you

I watched a documentary on this subject not long ago - 'when cousins marry' (only human) It was heartbreaking. Anyone saying that the OP was racist is ridiculous

I have two boys, one has quite bad eczema which Iv been told seems could be genetic as me and his dad gave eczema, and he has learning delays, I thought maybe me and my hubby were cousins but he's white and Im Indian origin. So we can't be cousins or can we ? Cos my boy has some genetic disabilities

*have not gave

Just realised the documentary was already linked below

A lot of misconceptions in this thread, hardly surprising though

1st cousin marriages are fine and also safe, genetically speaking. I wouldn't want to myself but that's not why we're here.

The problems arise when 1st Cousins get married and then the generation below also marry their cousins.

No misconceptions, at all. You're pointed out what 99% of the people before you pointed out

'Exactly Screaming if the families had to finance all the extra healthcare and learning support, they may think twice but guess what someone else will pick up the tab'

Rubbish! Do you seriously think that someone will be fine about having seriously disabled children just because they may not have to pay for it? (In fact, even with a welfare state, especially one as underfunded as ours, families with disabled members DO usually have to pay quite significant extra costs.) A Guardian journalist was quite rightly criticized harshly for saying that wealthy people, such as David Cameron, with severely disabled children who die young have 'privileged pain'. What you are saying is the same or worse! Grief for a child who suffers extreme health problems or dies young is not measurable in terms of pounds and pence!

I know some white British first cousins who married.

YANBU - At. All.

'Exactly Screaming if the families had to finance all the extra healthcare and learning support, they may think twice but guess what someone else will pick up the tab'

I can't believe I just read that.

“I know of an Asian woman who married an english man and thieri
offspring, one to Ofxord and the other to Cambridge

That did work well and both children perfectly healthy!”

Eerrr.... are They first cousins?

Noo! sorry oif it wasnt clear an Asian woman married an english man and i don't know how far back in time they may or might have had any connections but their children, offspring, did very well are two increddibly bright ones. One the Girl has gone to Cambridhe Uni the Boy to Oxford they collected god alone knows how many A levels and both are perfectly healthy!.