To give in toDD wearing make up to school?

[Dorsetcamping]

DD (12) has just started secondary school. She has always been incredibly confident and looks older than her years.

I am facing a daily argument with her about wearing make up to school (mascara and tinted moisturiser). For the first few days I made her wipe it all off but the battle is exhausting me. She says all her friends wear a little bit of make up and that the school doesn't mind.

I'm not sure whether this is a battle worth fighting. To give her credit she puts it on well and isn't noticeable unless close up, but It does make her look older and I worry.

I was wearing full face by 13 due to very bad acne. Mum took me to clinic counter (we didnt have much money). Got the lady to show me how to put it on, got correct colour and non caking concealer. Did wonders for my confidence. Friends parents were often shocked when I took foundation off as they didnt realised I had so much on or skin was so bad as I had been taught to apply it properly and had good colour match

My school wouldn't allow us to wear make up until we were in year 10 (about 15yo I think?) But, we would all wear it anyway and get put on report if school noticed. We would all wear tinted moisturiser and mascara because, that was about all we could get away with. If my Mum had ever turned around and told me I wasn't allowed to wear it, when all of the other kids were, I would have probably kicked off big time (at that age) and ended up being quite resentful about it.

I can't even remember having a discussion with my Mum about it. She was just always fine with it. Im pg with dc1 and I think secondary school is a fair age to allow make up but, I will let them 'play' with it beforehand. I don't agree with letting your 5 year old go out with a face of slap on though!

I’d let her. Can’t see the harm in a bit of mascara.

Check school rules. The secondary here the rule is minimal make up is allowed so basically so long as it’s not been caked on with a trowel. A bit of tinted moisturiser and mascara would be fine

My DD is 15 now, when she was about the same age as your DD she wanted to wear make up for school; imo too much but I kept my counsel.
Now a couple of years later she just wears a bit of tinted base, brown mascara and pale lip gloss. I found as I didn't make a fuss, it wasn't 'forbidden fruit' as it were. Here she is on a normal day.
When I was her age there were screaming arguments between me and my mum, I wanted to avoid that haha.

@angieloumc your DD is beautiful!

@angieloumc - if my tutor group had turned up looking like your DD I wouldn't even have noticed their makeup, just thought that they looked nice.

I remember desperately trying to wear make up to school aged 13 and sneaking it past my mum.
I hardly wear it at all now...oh the irony! Wearing it when I was young and fresh with beautiful skin and now going bare faced with all my wrinkles lol

@Dontforgetyourbrolly That's me too! My fifteen year old self would be horrified at the 'don't give a damn' attitude of my 40 year old self!

I wore a full face of make up at school from the age of 14 and it made me feel more confident because I had spots!

I wouldn't ban it completely.

As long as it is minimal as per school policy, I would say it's not a hill to die on.

School policy allows minimal inconspicuous make up

I'd let it go then - a bit of tinted moisturiser and some mascara is what I'd call minimal and inconspicuous. It isn't a battle I would fight, not worth it.

Tinted moisturiser and a bit of mascara at 12 is not the hill I’d choose to die on.

I learned to apply makeup very lightly and inconspicuously because otherwise Mum would scrub it off with a dishcloth and washing up detergent.

One hell of an incentive. . .

Let her do it and if a teacher makes her take it off, Lesson learnt!

She'll probably just do it at school when she gets there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Echoing others here. Pick your battles. Full on drag queen face? Nope. Mascara tinted moisturiser? Ah why not.

I wouldn't really class tinted moisturizer or mascara as make-up really. I'd let her wear it if she wanted. Not a full heavy face of the stuff though.

We weren't allowed to wear it at school, but I remember wearing concealer stick to cover my spots (which my mum actually bought me), and the teachers were kind enough to let spotty teenagers hide them!

They did draw the line at "proper" makeup though, I remember the head of upper school walking around with makeup wipes and doing random checks! She was fearsome - she also had a little wooden block, and if it could fit under your shoe heel they were too high and you got a detention.

Minimal make up is fine. Make sure she learns to take it off properly and it's all part of growing up.

It's the girls with orange collars from their foundation that are usually the ones handed a wet wipe at the gate.

fridgegrazer and Dorsetcamping, thank you!
PhDone ah, one of the nuns at my school, incidentally the same as my DD, had a wooden block too! Then there was the kneeling down for skirt length! Thank goodness those days are gone. Though am sure mine turns her skirt over when she's out of my sight.

I didn't encourage this but did turn a bit of a blind eye to low level makeup. All the other girls were wearing it and I have always taken the view that if the DC flout rules eg by wearing wrong shoes, not handing in homework etc and got caught and given detention they had to suck up the punishment. There are bigger issues to get worked up about and starting the day with a row is miserable.

My DD’s school does not allow it.
Unless she’s got acne, does she really need tinted anything? They are 12.
I allow my DD to wear it T weekends but she’s not interested. I adore makeup but I didn’t start wearing until I was 16.

Is the school ok with it? If yes, then it's not the hill worth dying on. Girls messing about with makeup is a rite of passage

Why on earth would you have a problem with her wearing a small amount of makeup to school?

Genuine question. What’s your objection? When you really think about it?