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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find hanging out with friends with babies boring !

60 replies

Lardlizard · 16/09/2019 10:52

We’d going for a pub lunch with a friend who has a 10month old
I know it snean as we all go though This stage but I just prefer age 2 plus so better bear with
You just can’t have proper convos
We do do stuff in the evenings with out the kids
Mine are at school
But she wants to meet up as she wants to get out in the day more
Tbh it’s a very easy going lovely baby
I just find it bloody dull
And would rather just see the friend

OP posts:
nonmerci · 16/09/2019 10:57

How is the baby preventing you talking to your friend if it’s an ‘easy going baby’?

HorseMum91 · 16/09/2019 10:59

Yes YABU.
Be supportive of your friend. Having a young baby can be quite lonely at times and your friend is probably grateful of the adult company.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 16/09/2019 10:59

YAB a bit unreasonable

She wants to get out in the day more. And have an adult conversation with a friend instead of going to baby groups. 10 months is still quite little, lots of people dont leave their babies til later.

Why dont you go for a walk or something so that the baby will be occupied or asleep in the buggy and you can ignore the baby and have a chat with the mum?

moobar · 16/09/2019 10:59

Easy baby, friend does meet up at night, she's asked to get out more in day, what is it you want from this? Not everyone has childcare. She's doing her best. Honestly you do not sound like a good friend.

TheCanterburyWhales · 16/09/2019 11:02

YANBU.
I found my own bloody boring all day, never mind other people's.
I think it's the sheer relentlessness of it taking 45 minutes to finish a conversation because of the constant interruptions and thinking you might be interested, beyond the fact it's your friend's baby, in nappy/food/teeth talk.
Having had dd later than most of my other friends, I remembered this when I had her and made sure that I didn't impose my mum status on friends.

20viona · 16/09/2019 11:05

Charming that is! You've got your own kids so you obviously know it can be lonely so I bet she was really looking forward to some company.

NoSauce · 16/09/2019 11:06

You don’t have to meet her. If you find it that tedious just don’t go.

Ohflippineck · 16/09/2019 11:07

Did your friends drop you when yours were small? Bit mean.

Abracad · 16/09/2019 11:07

Wow. Wish you were my mate.

bonitakitlee · 16/09/2019 11:07

Your friend sounds lovely, I think you are lucky, a good friend that makes an effort to meet up and a cute easy going baby to cuddle. I actually envy you, would love to have that in my life.

hittheroadjack1 · 16/09/2019 11:08

Where's she supposed to put the baby because you want her to yourself?

You see her without the kids at night.

I feel sorry for your friend.

boredboredboredboredbored · 16/09/2019 11:11

Fuck me with friends like you....😳

meccacos2 · 16/09/2019 11:15

I know what you mean.

My friend used to interrupt our conversation to talk to her infant. I found it annoying because she was never properly engaged.

Philmitchell · 16/09/2019 11:31

You’re an awful friend

PlinkPlink · 16/09/2019 11:35

Yeah, you sound pretty selfish on this post.

There's not even a reason to not want to meet your friend, if the baby is easy going.

And agree with PP that parenting is quite lonely sometimes and you should be thinking of your friend and her sanity, not your personal disliking of babies.

Try to put that aside and support your friend.

ImLizawithaZ · 16/09/2019 11:37

Yanbu

Justme1234567 · 16/09/2019 11:37

Yanbu!!

VenusClapTrap · 16/09/2019 11:38

Yes, it’s boring. I agree with you. BUT she’s your friend, and the baby won’t always be this age. You owe it to your friend to suck it up for a while.

Hopesorfears · 16/09/2019 11:41

My friend used to interrupt our conversation to talk to her infant. I found it annoying because she was never properly engaged
I remember once trying so hard not to do this when a friend was telling me something serious that had happened to her, that my toddler wandered off (we were at picnic tables in a park) and I didn't find him again for probably the worst ten minutes of my life.

LondonJax · 16/09/2019 11:44

So did all your friends leave you to it for a year or so when your kids were that age?

If they made an effort (and you probably do remember it is an effort when you've got a baby sometimes) then is it so hard to do the same?

After all it's only a year before that baby is at the age you 'prefer'. If you don't bother with your friend now, there's a chance she won't be around in a year. Unless you're seeing her every day I can't see the problem.

And I would guess she finds any conversation about your adorable children rather boring too as her's isn't in school. Unless you never mention them...honestly?

LolaSmiles · 16/09/2019 11:46

Easy going baby, friend meets up at different times, including evenings, but wants to do a bit more in the day, you've had your own children but have decided the presence of her baby is just too dull and boring for you.

You aren't coming across well.

hammeringinmyhead · 16/09/2019 11:50

So say no and let her go with a friend who doesn't find her baby "bloody dull".

I know my 10 month old isn't that interesting but on a Monday lunchtime when DH is at work we kinda come as a package. Funny that.

dollydaydream114 · 16/09/2019 11:51

YANBU.

I don't get much pleasure out of spending time with someone who isn't really listening to anything you say because they're focused on the baby the whole time, either. When my friends had small kids I didn't stop meeting up with them because that would have been mean, but I didn't get anything like the same enjoyment out of it and I doubt they did either, really - that's no bad reflection on either them or me, it's just the way things often are I think.

FishCanFly · 16/09/2019 11:53

YANBU
If its a first-time baby, every convo tends to be baby centered. Not like they want to talk about cats anymore or gossip about work or neighbours. But for the sake of friendship, stick it out - it will go back to normal in time.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 16/09/2019 11:57

YANBU to find it boring.

YABU to expect to meet your friend minus baby though. They need a parent with them at this stage and it will most likely be the mother if she is still on leave or BF.

It gets worse when they are toddlers. Shrieking, running away and demanding attention. You might find the baby stage preferable to that.