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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find hanging out with friends with babies boring !

60 replies

Lardlizard · 16/09/2019 10:52

We’d going for a pub lunch with a friend who has a 10month old
I know it snean as we all go though This stage but I just prefer age 2 plus so better bear with
You just can’t have proper convos
We do do stuff in the evenings with out the kids
Mine are at school
But she wants to meet up as she wants to get out in the day more
Tbh it’s a very easy going lovely baby
I just find it bloody dull
And would rather just see the friend

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 16/09/2019 12:03

Your right, they are boring to YABU to feel so strongly that you've got to ma he a mumsnet thread about it. I secretly think it but would never mention it as I feel lucky to have friends and if they are lonely I'm more than happy to help them at their time of need.

Aprillygirl · 16/09/2019 12:05

I'd much rather hang out with a 10 month old baby than a selfish sod like you to be honest. Just don't go OP if that's how you feel, but I hope she's never there for you when you need her.

Snog · 16/09/2019 12:09

YANBU if you just want to see your friend without her baby although of course this will limit the amount of time you can spend with her.

SinkGirl · 16/09/2019 12:10

Not my experience at all. I have a lovey group of twin mum friends and when they were babies we used to meet up for coffee all the time. They’re now toddlers it’s bloody impossible to say two words to each other.

Aoibhneas · 16/09/2019 12:13

I would not want a friend like you .

GreatBigNoise · 16/09/2019 12:15

YANBU. Babies are very boring and Mums of babies can (NOT ALWAYS!!) be very boring too 😅

I'd still meet up but maybe not for too long. I'm sure there is a happy kiddie ground between binning her off and spending hours being bored.

Ginger1982 · 16/09/2019 12:18

Gosh you sound awful. I find it far more tedious going out with toddlers, including my own! Babies are much easier to deal with. What did you do when yours were small?
You don't sound like a very supportive friend.

tillytrotter1 · 16/09/2019 12:19

You didn't seriously expect a positive response here did you? If you don't think that babies are the be all and end all of the world and the most interesting topic on earth then you're condemed to MN hell! Personally, I agree with you and I had two of my own.

Hopesorfears · 16/09/2019 12:38

The fact that they are not "the be all and end all" doesn't mean we can leave them in the shed while we go out for morning coffee with super interesting pals.

EmAreSea · 16/09/2019 12:44

Did your friend drop you like a bad habit when your kids were boring babies?

JustMe81 · 16/09/2019 12:54

Yanbu. Babies are boring, awful creatures who have this annoying habit of taking up everyone’s attention. She should stay at home until the baby is deemed interesting enough to go out in public with “it” Who does your friend this she is trying to have a social life and a child, you should tell her she’s getting things all wrong and she has no place in the outside world while her child is young. Hmm

namechangedbecauseithinkiabu · 16/09/2019 13:11

YABU. How does having a baby around spoil things for you? Don’t be so unsupportive.

havanaoohnana · 16/09/2019 13:16

YANBU.

None of my childless friends spent time with my babies when small. I would see them all on days or nights out instead which suited me fine. They were all doing amazing holidays and living it up, I never expected them to bore themselves with soft plays and parks for my benefit.

But now one of the group has had her first baby and is trying to have the world revolve around them. Every time a group meet is suggested she steers it to fit in with baby being there, despite the fact she could leave baby with partner. I have so little social time, the thought of a coffee talking about little jimmys poops all day fills me with dread. So no YANBU in my opinion.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 16/09/2019 13:18

YANBU to find the baby boring

But you are being an unreasonable shit friend.

IF she’s a baby bore then of course it’s a drag but YABU to expect her to put her baby aside because the fact she’s procreated later than you is a giant drag.

With friends like you OP....

FishCanFly · 16/09/2019 13:21

Did your friend drop you like a bad habit when your kids were boring babies?
actually the opposite tends to happen. old friends become irrelevant, as new mums tend to gravitate to similar baby-related interest groups.
I'd be glad the still has time to meet you.

Celebelly · 16/09/2019 13:23

Why is there this weird assumption that if you meet up with a baby, then you'll randomly start talking about poo to everyone? Confused I've met up with a few baby-less friends when I've been on mat leave with DD and I've managed not to talk about poo with any of them. In fact we've pretty much just had normal conversations while my DD sits on my lap and looks around, plays with her toys or has some food.

leaserspottedmummybird · 16/09/2019 13:24

Lol as a mum I also find other people's babies boring
YANBU
I did take my dc to baby groups but used to roll my eyes at all the mummies who 'couldn't wait to buy the cute little pouches of baby food' I mean ffs 🙄

leaserspottedmummybird · 16/09/2019 13:26

To hear 'you're an awful friend ' coming from Philmitchel of all people is quite Grin

Rachelover60 · 16/09/2019 13:38

It's not for long so I think you can suck it up, op. Especially if you are generous-spirited :-). We've all been in your friend's position and if it helps her to get out during the day with her baby, help her please. You might even like it, you say the baby is easy going. Bless.

Here's for you when you're on your own Wine.

Wexone · 16/09/2019 13:38

i disagree with this that peopl are saying you are an awful friend, i have no chilren but loads of my friends do. I love them and enjoy spending time with them, but can see what the OP means. I have been out with them, with their babaies and have found that yes they want to get out and have adult conversations however they do not have the attention spane to do it. You will be having a conversation with them and you just know they are not listening, same if they ask your advice about something, then they automatically change the sublect or something. Sometimes this is a permananet factor sometimes its not. Try organising treats for her and just suggesting someone to babaysit etc at some occasions but then meet with the baby other times. It should as they say grow out of it but if it continues might need to admit that this is not worth percervering

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 16/09/2019 13:42

Yanbu, of course you're not an awful friend FFS [extremely rolly eyes emoticon].

It can be very dull indeed which is why most parents try and socialise with others with similar aged kids - so they can all bore each other almost to death.

But I am sure you will go out with her and the baby sometimes as she has asked.

Witchinaditch · 16/09/2019 13:53

Doesn’t your friend want a break and just catch up? Can’t she meet for lunch in baby’s nap time with the dad looking after baby? I wouldn’t say it’s fair to say it’s boring but it’s important to not loose your identity as a person when you become a mum

zingally · 16/09/2019 13:57

It does go back to normal. But yeah, be ready for at least a solid 18 months to 2 years of baby talk.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 16/09/2019 14:13

Its just a lunch for heaven's sake. YABVU. Did people treat you this way when your children were babies?

Twinkles72 · 16/09/2019 14:21

Disagree 100%! I adore squishy, drolly, silly little babies and love them even more if they belong to one of my friends!! I would be sad if they didn't bring the baby honestly. I would be happy to hold the baby and let my friend eat a meal in peace. You sound selfish and mean. Do you just sit back and let your friend struggle with their baby while you stuff your face??