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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My 16 year old was mugged

31 replies

5onit · 16/09/2019 07:35

Posting here for traffic and support. It happened on Friday, on her way home from college. It's a specialized subject college a few towns over so none of her friends go there and she doesn't know anyone there, least of all ones who travel home the same route as her. So she dealt with it completely on her own. It's a huge town with a huge train station and several platforms, and it happened around 4:30 while she was waiting for her train. She said it was 2 lads about her age who threatened to knife her if she didn't hand her stuff over. She didn't even have anything worthwhile, no cash and a 3-year-old cracked phone. Not that it stopped them, they've also done off with her 2 weeks of coursework and her college lanyard. Bastards. Worst of all there were plenty of commuters about but none of them helped her after the incident even though DD said she was hyperventilating.

She doesn't want to get the train today (understandably) so DH is driving her. This can't happen forever though as DH had to call into work and say he's going to be late, and I am not able to drive. I don't know what to do, she's fucking terrified.

OP posts:

wowfudge · 16/09/2019 07:39

Have you reported what happened to the police? Told the college?

Goodlookingcreature · 16/09/2019 07:41

Can you go on the train with her for a few mornings? Report to police

IvysMum12 · 16/09/2019 07:41

So very sorry. I don't understand how people can stand by. I'm nearly 70, but I would have waded in!
Could you speak to the Transport Police and the Station Manager? Introduce her, and ask them to keep an eye on her?
Perhaps she may consider some Martial Arts training to give her some confidence.
All the very best to you and your family x

Lifeisabeach09 · 16/09/2019 07:42

Did she report it to the police? Train stations have cameras all over.
Does she want to continue the course? She should notify her college (if she hasn't) and get some time off, coursework extensions and counseling.

Sorry for your DD.

Chocolatecake12 · 16/09/2019 07:44

Oh your poor dd. Yes I do hope you’ve reported it to the police, there may be cctv as it happened at the station.
It happened to my brother when he was about the same age. They took his cash - a few pounds of loose change and his Walkman - showing my age! - it took him a while to feel confident enough to get the train alone again. Give her some time to talk and come to terms with it. Do you work? Could you travel with her? Maybe your dh’s work will be understanding this week and allow him to be late so he can take her.

Blubluboo · 16/09/2019 07:53

I really hope you reported it! Your poor DD. I can see why she is scared.
Can I ask what area this happened in?
Secondly, encourage her to make lots of friends at the new college, hopefully some of them will be going the same way. In the meantime, if you are able to, I would catch the train with her. It is so scary that they had the confidence to do this given the platform was so busy. How did noone see? I'd have stepped in. I'm sorry she is going through this.

Original poster

5onit · 16/09/2019 07:56

We have informed the police and not heard back. Did tell her college tutor but the lads weren't from there so not sure they can do anything other than offer her support.

@Blubluboo It was Stockport near Manchester,

OP posts:

Ginmel · 16/09/2019 07:58

There is normally plenty of cctv on stations. Contact the station and the train company

IvysMum12 · 16/09/2019 08:11

Stockport Railway Station? We use it a lot, and the staff are absolutely lovely. Please persist in getting your daughter known to them, and build up her confidence.

NeverSayFreelance · 16/09/2019 08:20

Definitely report it to the station. Maybe there's a different place she can wait, or someone who works that shift that can look out for her? She could stay in a safe place until it's time to board the train.

wowfudge · 16/09/2019 08:23

I know Stockport station well and the staff there are great. Your DD needs to know what to do if she feels threatened - she needs a strategy to protect herself, which will help her feel more confident. She should have spoken to a member of station staff after the incident - too late now, but she needs to know this now. Whereabouts was she mugged? She needs to find a safe place where there are others she can wait with.

I'm willing to bet it didn't look as though she was being mugged - I appreciate she was scared, but she needs to learn to shout to draw attention to herself should this kind of thing happen again. Can she ask to speak to BTP at the station if the police haven't got back to you yet?

wowfudge · 16/09/2019 08:25

And tell college - it's highly unlikely this was an isolated incident and they'll be able to let the students know and give them some safety strategies.

KUGA · 16/09/2019 08:46

So sorry your DD had to go through such an ordeal.
In time I hope she is okay.
Sending her air hugs.

Littlemeadow123 · 16/09/2019 09:00

@wowfudge

I dont think I'd start shouting and drawing attention to myself if the people who had cornered me had threatened to knife me. The poor girl is in no way at fault for what happened to her.

wowfudge · 16/09/2019 09:18

There were people around - the OP's post doesn't say they actually had a knife.

Sparklesocks · 16/09/2019 09:20

How awful, I’m so sorry for your DD - getting mugged is a very upsetting experience. I understand why she’s so shaken.

IsobelRae23 · 16/09/2019 09:30

Police, transport police, go to them police station and ask to make a statement, CCTV at the train station

Littlemeadow123 · 16/09/2019 09:39

@wowfudge

They threatened to knife her. Yes, they may have been bluffing about having a knife, but at the same time, they might not have been. A man got stabbed in death on a train in broad daylight recently. Therefore, I dont blame a sixteen year old for cooperating instead of drawing attention to herself and you are being really unreasonable for insinuating that she is partly to blame for what happened.

wowfudge · 16/09/2019 09:48

I am not insinuating she is partly to blame - you have made that up. I have suggested a strategy to help her in the future. And stop having a go at me.

You haven't had a go at the pp who suggested she waited in a safe place until her train arrive.

There is lots of personal safety advice for women and I suggest the OP's daughter read it and take it on board.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/09/2019 09:49

The fucking cunts. It’s terrible that you do have to hand your property over to these dregs of society, but She did the right thing.
Hope they catch them soon. Mind you I won’t build up your hopes. They’re likely to only get 50 hours community service

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/09/2019 09:51

Nice bit of victim blaming there, Fudge

64sNewName · 16/09/2019 09:59

OP what happened immediately afterwards? She was hyperventilating and then what - did she get the train home? Did she approach an adult or staff member at all?

If not - did she explain why not?

I’m just confused because pp are saying “too late now but she should have approached staff” - only I can’t see where it says she didn’t.

64sNewName · 16/09/2019 10:11

But yeah anyway, it’s not at all too late now to talk to staff about how she can get back to feeling safer at the station.

So if you don’t know what to do - that’s what I’d do. And persevere, if the first person you discuss it with isn’t helpful enough.

Littlemeadow123 · 16/09/2019 10:41

@wowfudge

You were suggesting that she was partly to blame by not having a 'strategy' and that if she had possessed a 'strategy' then this incident would not have happened. The recommended strategy when people corner you and threaten you is that you hand over what they want. Which is what the OP's daughter did.

Also, by suggesting that this girl reads travel advice also suggests that you think that she is partly to blame. That this robbery was caused by a lack of knowledge and awareness. How do you know that she hasn't read advice on how to travel safely? You can read all the travel safety advice in the world, it won't necessarily prevent you from being mugged.

OP, I would let the train station know about this incident.

wowfudge · 16/09/2019 10:43

@Littlemeadow - you are insinuating what is not there. The girl is scared and I have suggested that if she has a plan it will help her to feel more confident.

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