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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this to the police.

37 replies

Helendee · 15/09/2019 16:25

We were driving home earlier today when three young children ran across the road in front of us, my DH slammed on the brakes in time luckily; the father of the kids came across shouting at DH as if it was his fault ( it wasn’t).
I told him he should teach his children how to cross the road safely and he then came to my side of the car, called me a fat cunt and spat at me.
I want to report it as an assault but DH says there’s no point.

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 15/09/2019 16:29

Spitting is a common assault but would the police be able to identify him? They’ll certainly record it but there may be few lines of enquiry so you may not see any justice.

Redglitter · 15/09/2019 16:30

Do you know who the man is? If you dont then tbh its pointless.

Merryoldgoat · 15/09/2019 16:32

If you know where he lives then yes, absolutely report him.

Original poster
Helendee · 15/09/2019 16:33

No sadly not, it probably would be a waste of police time.

OP posts:
passionfruit11 · 15/09/2019 16:36

To late now but I would have called the police there and then if someone spat at me

Redglitter · 15/09/2019 16:38

No sadly not, it probably would be a waste of police time

Unfortunately you're right it would be just a paper exercise if you dont know who he is. It would be recorded as a crime but that would be it

Original poster
Helendee · 15/09/2019 16:38

I wanted to but DH just wanted to get out of the scene.

OP posts:
Original poster
Helendee · 15/09/2019 16:39

Thanks everyone, just feeling a bit shit now.

OP posts:
NearlyGranny · 15/09/2019 16:39

Horrible, but he will have been in shock. He could be this ghastly when not in shock too, of course. A responsible parent would have apologised and been aghast.

Unless you can identify him, I agree, no point reporting to police. You've had a double nasty shock and need a stiff drink, or a cuppa for the driver!

Finfintytint · 15/09/2019 16:40

It wouldn’t be a waste of police time to have it recorded. It would take a few minutes and the investigation would be closed by the end of your call. It’s worth doing because his behaviour may crop up again in future for other investigations.

Redglitter · 15/09/2019 16:44

It’s worth doing because his behaviour may crop up again in future for other investigations

It's really not. Theres no way an instance of spitting by an unidentified man will in anyway crop up and be linked to future investigations. Theres nothing to link other than a random man spitting.

statetrooperstacey · 15/09/2019 16:45

Unless you know him/ his address there’s not much point it’s waste of every bodies time. Should have dealt with it then to be honest, can’t believe between the 2 of you you didn’t give him a good shoeing!!

Papergirl1968 · 15/09/2019 16:46

Shocked or not that’s no excuse for appalling behaviour. Some people are just disgusting excuses for human beings.

Islandermum · 15/09/2019 16:47

I would report this. I used to work in a mental health hospital and there was a man who used to spit at professionals as he had a contagious disease (unsure what) to try and harm them. (The odds of this happening are so slim but would make it a much more serious crime)

I would advise you to thoroughly wash anywhere the spit might have had contact with skin. You might get lucky and have clear CCTV footage in the area and it happens to track him to his home address.

This is assault and must have been horrible. I'm so sorry. You aren't wasting police time.

Finfintytint · 15/09/2019 16:49

Red glitter, if he’s subsequently identified through other actions then yes it is worth reporting. It’s just intelligence gathering. I would never deter a victim from reporting a crime.

vintanner · 15/09/2019 16:50

Do you have a dash camera? If you do and really want to report it, there is your evidence/id.

Original poster
Helendee · 15/09/2019 16:50

StatetrooperStacey

We are in our fifties and I have scoliosis of the spine. 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Helendee · 15/09/2019 16:50

I wish we had a dash cam. I will get one now.

OP posts:
meyouandlulutoo · 15/09/2019 16:57

Shocking. He may already be known to the police, I doubt if it is the first time he has assaulted in this way. Report it, you would not be wasting police time.

Ithinkmycatisevil · 15/09/2019 17:21

If you don’t know his name or where he lives I doubt there’s much point.

Disgusting way to behave though, what a dick.

peachdreams · 15/09/2019 17:32

I would report this, I work in the city centre during the night and unfortunately have seen people behave like this before.
Once a report is made the police will try to trace him back using CCTV- Ofcourse there is only so much they can do to find him but they will try.

In my area this sometimes leads to a court case.

Original poster
Helendee · 15/09/2019 17:40

Thank you everyone. I’m going to sleep on it tonight and will see how I feel in the morning.

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 15/09/2019 17:51

When I was pregnant I hired a guy to remove some stuff from our flat and take some to charity and the rest to a tip. Long story short, it ended with him trying to extort money out of me and then hurling everything off the van, at me, calling me every name under the sun and leaving the road filled with smashed furniture and glass (oh, except for anything worth any money, which he stole). Several people in neighbouring flats called the police, I didn’t.

I had his number, I had his name. The police called him back and relayed his “offer” to me (to clear the road for an extra £100) which I obviously told them to stick.

He was interviewed by police. They made him write me an apology letter. That was that.

Complete waste of time.

SinkGirl · 15/09/2019 17:52

Sorry, I meant extort more money out of me. I obviously paid him before that.

x2boys · 15/09/2019 17:53

Assuming there's CCTV and you don't know him then I dont think there's much the police can do ,it is Common assault rhough, totally different scenario but my son got bitten by a dog randomly who was with its owner ( no provocation from my son at all) and the owner ran off I called the police who were very sympathetic but they said unless we could identify the owner they couldn't do anything .

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