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Original poster

Grandparents rights - denying contact.

45 replies

JJSS123 · 14/09/2019 23:04

Posting in here for traffic as need advice.
I am no contact with my mother. She has mental illness has been absolutely vile to me for years moved away when I was young and left me to fend for my Self.

I have a very young baby (few weeks old) whom she has never met. I know what she has done to me and I cannot let that happen to my daughter. She has been sending me threatening messages for days (have reported to police) but this evening has said she is going for contact with baby and has posted a c100 form to the courts and I should expect a phone call from grandparents r us?

The anxiety this causes me is unreal. I cannot let her have contact with my baby she is spiteful and nasty and has a very dangerous side to her. All of which I have had done to me.

Can anyone please tell me where I stand? I am desperate.
Thank you and sorry for long post. X

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 14/09/2019 23:06

Grandparents have no rights, what an earth is grandparents are us? Sounds like she’s winding you up

CheshireChat · 14/09/2019 23:06

As far as I know, GP would only get granted access if there had been previous, sustained contact so not applicable in your case.

However, this is why I think it's incredibly shortsighted to try and change the existing law.

Thehop · 14/09/2019 23:07

Let her, she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

There are no grandparents rights in the UK.

I’m NC with my DM and my kids don’t see her either.

She threatened the same but got nowhere.

Please don’t hesitate to get some support from citizens advice if you need to

Congratulations on your new baby, x

Redshoeblueshoe · 14/09/2019 23:07

Grandparents do not have any legal rights.
How is she contacting you ? If it's by phone just block her.
Flowers

Thehop · 14/09/2019 23:08

Block her and change your number.

FenellaVelour · 14/09/2019 23:08

May be worth posting on the legal board as some family law solicitors post on there.

But basically they have no automatic right to apply for contact. They need to be given permission to apply, and you can tell the court you do not consent to permission being given and why.

I understand this is stressful for you but so far you’ve done everything right in reporting your concerns to the police, and you can gather this evidence together to show the court to object to her application.

FenellaVelour · 14/09/2019 23:09

And yes, there’s no existing relationship with your newborn and it’s unlikely therefore that the courts would be sympathetic to the application.

Original poster
JJSS123 · 14/09/2019 23:09

Thank you everyone. Yes it is by phone but if she doesn’t give me the abuse she sends it to my partners family and it’s awful and embarrassing so I’d rather have it my self. She’s making my life hell. Does anyone know how I’d go about getting a restraining order? And no she’s never met the baby at all by the way x

OP posts:
Applesfortea · 14/09/2019 23:11

She would have to ask the court for permission to make an application & you could explain why she shouldn't have permission. Even if permission is granted that doesn't mean she'll get contact, the court is likely to ask Cafcass to prepare a report to consider whether she should have contact. That takes around 10 weeks to prepare. They'd talk to you & get the background & make recommendations to the court saying whether or not she should have any contact.

MyNameIsIrrelevant · 14/09/2019 23:13

She doesn't stand a chance.
Tell your partners family to block her as well.

Starlight456 · 14/09/2019 23:13

I would agree post in legal but also get legal advice because it isn’t just you it’s your dp’s Family. Can you ask them to block her too?

Applesfortea · 14/09/2019 23:14

You can apply for a non molestation order. Form FL401 & a statement explaining what she's done - threatening messages etc.. screen shot them if you can to go with your statement.

Original poster
JJSS123 · 14/09/2019 23:15

They have blocked her also but she’s managed to find mil address and keeps threatening to drop stuff off there. Of which I’ve said I don’t want and have asked her on numerous occasions to stay away

OP posts:
Redred2429 · 14/09/2019 23:18

Op she is just trying to control you her behaviour is nothing for you to be embarrassed about (trust me I have been there) block her and contact the police to report her for harassment
Congratulations on your new baby

Original poster
JJSS123 · 14/09/2019 23:19

This is a mild version of what I’m receiving

Grandparents rights - denying contact.
OP posts:
Hecateh · 14/09/2019 23:22

As I understand it, if she was the parent of your partner and had had a long term relationship with your child with no issues. After splitting from her son you then decided to refuse contact the courts may decide it is in the child's best interests to maintain contact.

Im this situation she will get nowhere

Stompythedinosaur · 14/09/2019 23:25

I believe that gps are only considered for court ordered contact where they have had significant sustain contact previously and the judge believes it would be in the child's interest to maintain this. It doesn't apply in your case. You are able to decide whether your mother should have.contact, so stick to your guns!

Gingerkittykat · 15/09/2019 00:03

I have no idea of the exact laws but is there any way you can get any kind of anti harassment order against her?

My friend had to threaten similar with her own abusive mother who insisted on contacting her and sending gifts after being told to stop. There were no DC involved in her case.

Is she really dying or is that another trick to try and get you into her life?

KT2019 · 15/09/2019 03:17

Don't have any advice but in a very similar situation myself just now and just wanted to say congrats on the new baby and good luck with this situation, I know how tough it can be! Try not to give her too much attention /head space so she doesn't steal this precious time with your newborn from you Flowers xx

Topseyt · 15/09/2019 03:31

If that is an example of what she has been writing to you then it reads like ranty and incoherent drivel.

Block her and see if you can get some sort of restraining order against her. It is harassment. Keep her texts though as evidence of that.

Grandparents have no automatic rights in the UK. Leave her to it. She'll get nowhere and fall flat on her face with it.

ShippingNews · 15/09/2019 03:31

Grandparents have no rights to see their grandchildren . The only time a court would even consider giving them some access is 1) Where they were previously a big part of the child's life and now the parents have split up, leaving the grandparents out of the picture 2) Where the grandparents were previously a big part of the child's life and the child has now been given up for fostering / adoption .

Your mother would not have a leg to stand on. Best wishes to you OP.

ShippingNews · 15/09/2019 03:34

You say that you have to put up with her ranting, because if you block her she sends her nonsense to your partner's family. Can't you tell you partner's family to block her as well ? They must know how horrible she is.

maz7777 · 15/09/2019 03:38

I wouldn't block her, I'd keep her rants and threats as evidence but I'd ignore her. I'd send her one text, if you haven't already, saying that you don't want anymore contact with her and telling her to stop contact.

Then I'd get a restraining order.

maz7777 · 15/09/2019 03:40

If this is via whatsapp you can mute the conversation. Then you won't get notifications.

meccacos2 · 15/09/2019 03:41

How stressful! She’s not going to be successful in any Court and looks like she’s nuts anyway. This is about control and because you’re upset it means she’s still controlling you.