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Original poster

Grandparents rights - denying contact.

45 replies

JJSS123 · 14/09/2019 23:04

Posting in here for traffic as need advice.
I am no contact with my mother. She has mental illness has been absolutely vile to me for years moved away when I was young and left me to fend for my Self.

I have a very young baby (few weeks old) whom she has never met. I know what she has done to me and I cannot let that happen to my daughter. She has been sending me threatening messages for days (have reported to police) but this evening has said she is going for contact with baby and has posted a c100 form to the courts and I should expect a phone call from grandparents r us?

The anxiety this causes me is unreal. I cannot let her have contact with my baby she is spiteful and nasty and has a very dangerous side to her. All of which I have had done to me.

Can anyone please tell me where I stand? I am desperate.
Thank you and sorry for long post. X

OP posts:
Durgasarrow · 15/09/2019 03:53

It is time to gray rock this crazy lady.

Coyoacan · 15/09/2019 04:56

Look after yourself, OP. This is not the moment for you to be the shock absorber for your partner's family, they are well able to look after themselves. You have a small baby that needs you to be well and happy.

Go through the steps of getting a restraining order (or whatever it is called) as if you were applying for a passport. She cannot do anything to you. Congratulations on the baby.

lyralalala · 15/09/2019 05:00

Grandparents don’t have rights. What they do have is the ability to ask the court for permission to apply for contact if the child’s right to a relationship with a Grandparent they know well and have a good relationship with is being prevented.

A grandparent who is estranged from their child, who has never met their grandchild and who is harassing their child is not going to get that permission, far less actually win any access in court.

Speak to the police if she keeps harassing you.

RebootYourEngine · 15/09/2019 05:09

By you not blocking her you are still allowing her to control you. Block her and get all the family to block her. If she does turn up at your MILs address then get her to ignore the door. If she kicks off get MIL to phone the police.

MissPepper8 · 15/09/2019 10:08

I dont know legally but you say she messages your partner and his family? So maybe you have to have a sit down conversation with them and be honest?

Tell them all to block her, maybe if you're both on social media such as Facebook deactivate it for a while and block her yourself.

You can't do this forever, it has to stop or you'll go insane :(, you need to be enjoying your baby. Please get a restraining order against her, it'll only strengthen your side of the story and save everything.

messolini9 · 15/09/2019 10:26

Dear OP, she's winding you up. She does it because she can. She's not interested in your child, she's interested in hurting you.

Please go PROPERLY NC, by blocking her on all media.
Then she can't message you any more.

She has zero rights to see your child. You are 100% in control of that. Now stop worrying & enjoy your sunday with your daughter!
xxx

Original poster
JJSS123 · 15/09/2019 13:52

Thank you so much everyone. I’ve just had the police round after reporting online the other day. I felt I had to so I am seen to be protecting my baby as much as possible. They have agreed it is harassment and even said they think she’s nuts 🙈. They are going to speak to her today as a warning and then anything else she will be arrested. They mentioned going to CAB for a civil injunction which I am going to look into. Thank you so much everyone. I woke up in the night, not because of the baby she slept amazingly. But to check this thread and it’s honestly the first time in about a week I’ve rested properly. I feel so much better. Thank you so so much.

OP posts:
Prawnofthepatriarchy · 15/09/2019 13:59

So glad the advice you got here was supportive. Mumsnet can be amazing at a time like this. Your batshit mother doesn't stand a chance. Rest easy.

user1480880826 · 15/09/2019 14:05

You really need to block her. Regardless of whether it causes her to contact your in-laws. They will just have to deal with her themselves. Your mother is not your responsibility. Your partner and his family would surely be supportive of you protecting your own mental health and the safety of your new baby?

Block block block.

BogglesGoggles · 15/09/2019 14:10

I hope she stops now. I’m glad to hear that the police are helping you. I just wanted to say that I really admire how strong you are being for your baby. Best x

Timandra · 15/09/2019 14:24

I know you want to protect your in laws but, if they are in any way decent people, they will want to be the ones protecting you. Please talk to them, tell them you intend to block her number so you don't have to deal with the stress. Explain that she may try to use them to get to you and that they may need to contact the police to stop her.

Try to focus on your baby and enjoying this very precious time Flowers

Yellowcar18 · 15/09/2019 14:26

So happy to hear this thread has helped you. Its tough with a batshit mother but you are deffinetly doing the right thing.

Id seriously consider holding a family meeting with your dhs side and explaining the need to go no contact, explain that they are to block her should they receive any backlash from her and apologise in advance. As it's for your mental health.

Than follow through and don't give that nasty woman another moment of your time and enjoy your gorgeous baby

Yellowcar18 · 15/09/2019 14:27

Or message them

MyNameIsIrrelevant · 15/09/2019 15:11

Well done. Keep reporting her so it's all on record.

gavisconismyfriend · 15/09/2019 15:28

Well done OP. Contacting the police can't have been easy. but you have done the right thing to protect you and your child. Agree with PPs who have suggested honest chat with your in-laws - they sound like nice people who would want to protect you.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 15/09/2019 15:36

She's texting you complete bollocks in order to intimidate you. She hasn't spoken to the police, or anything else.

If she'd spoken to the police, they'd have said, "not our area madam, consult a solicitor" and a solicitor would have said, "no. Your adult daughter has legal rights. She's not an extension of you and nor is her baby. So she can choose not to have you in her life because of your behaviour and there are no legal grounds to compel her otherwise".

Sheep90 · 15/09/2019 20:56

I'm in a similar situation as you, OP. Going completely NC was the best thing I ever did. I also recommend your partner going NC too, if they are happy to do so. I found the stress of knowing messages could still reach me, even if through someone else, really hard.
You have good reason to not want your child around this person, and what you want is what will happen.

TriciaH87 · 15/09/2019 21:27

In the UK she has no rights. If not in the UK I'm guessing must be some records to show she deserted you. If not you just tell the courts she has not bothered with you in x amount of years and due to her being abusive in the past you do not wish to have contact.

stucknoue · 15/09/2019 21:30

The only time that courts ever grant access is where there's be sustained contact, often it may be following the sad death of the grandparents child for instance.

BumbleBeee69 · 15/09/2019 21:42

well isn't SHE charming.. Hmm

Block her OP.. .Flowers

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