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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Jesy Nelson - Odd One Out

53 replies

MT2017 · 14/09/2019 22:23

AIBU to think it's so sad that all the way through achieving her dream of winning X Factor she felt so awful about herself.

But those people who posted really don't give a shit, do they. KH amongst them.

OP posts:

hiphopchick · 14/09/2019 22:25

Feel so sorry for her, and she is cute as a button and has NEVER been fat! So I think the hate was unwarranted and nasty.

Who is KH?

Glitteryone · 14/09/2019 22:25

So, so sad!

KH is a horrible, nasty woman!

Jamhandprints · 14/09/2019 22:27

Sad that people were so unkind but people always say unkind things about famous people, it's awful that she took it to heart so much and let it change her. Understandable, obviously, but a shame.

Original poster

MT2017 · 14/09/2019 22:29

@hiphopchick

Katie Hopkins

See @Glitteryone's post for an accurate description

OP posts:

hiphopchick · 14/09/2019 22:42

Oh yeah HER! Vile cow. Ewwwww.. She should look in the mirror!

Onceuponacheesecake · 14/09/2019 22:46

I think everyone needs to see it. I feel very sad for her and it's clear she still has such deep rooted issues. I do find it twistedly ironic how many people have come out and said BUT YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL which is totally missing the point and just continues to turn this wheel of valuing a person based on their looks and driving that need for validation based on these "you're on fire babe 🔥" type responses which still puts a massive pressure on people.

RandomAmanda · 14/09/2019 22:55

it's awful that she took it to heart so much and let it change her

Thing is, she was only about 20 or so on X Factor.

absopugginglutely · 14/09/2019 22:58

Fame is a very damaging and traumatising experience for people, especially sensitive people (most artists) and youngsters who are really like wet clay in that they are still forming and not yet solid in who exactly they are and what they're about.
SO many have died through self abuse or suicide.
When will we realise this and run from fame like it's a killer?

PhilSwagielka · 14/09/2019 23:04

Anyone who likes Katie Hopkins and thinks she's an amazing teller of truth or whatever is not someone I want to deal with. This crap is one of the reasons why. How can you think it's acceptable to bully a young woman to the point of suicide? Unless you're one of those people who think it's all such a laugh and she should just grow a thicker skin.

damncats · 14/09/2019 23:05

I thought it was a crying shame what she’s been through, and found it extra sad that at the end her takeaway wasn’t “love yourself as you are” but “you’ll be happy eventually” because of 1) the physical changes she’s felt necessary to make to herself to achieve happiness and 2) she still comes across as incredibly unhappy in her own skin.

homertonb · 14/09/2019 23:11

Feel so sorry for her, and she is cute as a button and has NEVER been fat! So I think the hate was unwarranted and nasty.

I doubt you had bad intentions, but the way you worded your post seems as if the hate would be warranted if she were fat...

Mummyshark2019 · 14/09/2019 23:21

Like Lady Gaga recently said, social media is the toilet of the internet. I would love for the networks to all be shut down. Social networks are vile things which spread hate and jealousy. If not shut down, then heavily regulated and controlled.

Mummyshark2019 · 14/09/2019 23:24

And it's not just the famous people who are affected by this. The documentary showed non famous people who were trolled for their appearance, just as Jessy was. The story of the young lady who took her own life as a result of trolling g on social media was absolutely heart breaking. This needs to stop.

Sparklesocks · 14/09/2019 23:26

I think people forget that there are real people behind screens, and those in the public eye have feelings too. I will never understand what motivates trolls, I can only assume they are bitter and angry with little else in their lives.

As for KH, she’s essentially a ‘hate for pay’ shill. It’s her ‘job’ to say horrible things about people because it gets clicks and so money, even if she doesn’t believe them - with no thought for the harm she is causing. It’s despicable, I don’t know how she can look at herself in the mirror every day.

Madreb · 14/09/2019 23:37

I feel for her and think she's fantastic in many ways.

However, I worry that so many young girls will watch the doc and see what it took physically for Jesy to love herself (massive weight loss, fillers and some other work I think). I know it's cliche but we should be encouraging self confidence for who you are not what you look like.

I also got quite cross from a sound bite on r1 news where she said she had been described as "fat, ugly, disabled and abnormal looking" and follows that up by saying "the worst things you could say to a person"

What sort of message is that?!

I actually had a great conversation with my secondary school form about it. We all agreed that there are far worse things to be than fat/ugly/disabled/abnormal!

tigger001 · 14/09/2019 23:41

Katie Hopkins should be absolutely ashamed of herself, she should be banned from Twitter. And charged with a hate crime or something.

What does the future hold for our beautiful children.

Morado · 14/09/2019 23:42

Saw this last night... I've been expecting a thread to pop up about it!

Felt so sorry for her 😩 I've never been a little mix fan but I've always thought she was beautifully unique looking ❤️ She was really brave to make that documentary!

Jaffacakebeast · 14/09/2019 23:51

I felt sorry for her, actual deep sympathy, but I can’t get my head around why ppl don’t just delete the app? I know for famous ppl they end up in the mags too, but on Instagram they can turn the comments off, delete their profile. I’ve heard ppl say if you can’t stand the heat then get out of the kitchen, a little too far I think. I also don’t see why ppl don’t have to have social media verified with passport or bank card, would stop a lot of nasty ppl hiding behind the alias if they knew the police could easily find them were they to behave badly

Tigger001 · 15/09/2019 00:05

I also cant believe the label would suggest anti depressants rather than deleting her social media accounts.

Well I can as it's all about the "product" but it's disgusting.

NeelixFelicis · 15/09/2019 00:10

I always thought (rightly or wrongly) she was a beautiful girl, and saw years ago when DDs were young that she was bullied because her looks were "unconventional".

Didn't the same happen to Kym Marsh in her Hearsay days? "You don't fit the brand, so either fix up or fuck off".

Horrible, brutal industry.

Mummyshark2019 · 15/09/2019 00:37

The label told all the band members they needed social media and that they needed to be active on it. So horrible.

BooLooBoo · 15/09/2019 00:43

I hope that people start to turn their back on Instagram and other social media platforms where image is everything. I remember reading a few nasty comments about Jesy a few years ago. Presumably written by people old enough to know better. Just horrible. How anyone could do that to young girl I don't know. I feel sorry but not just for her, for everyone, because this image driven shit is toxic and harmful. And you see all these young women now with cosmetic work done, fillers and stuff, it makes me feel sad.

Fuma · 15/09/2019 00:48

I think it's an industry problem rather than a bullying problem. As you say @mummyshark2019 they were all told to have social media profiles and from the sounds of the documentary given no support/guidance whatsoever on managing them or dealing with the fallout. Of course you are going to get hostile comments on social media: people don't know you, they're trying to be clever, it's a throwaway comment in Saturday night tv while you're dossing on the sofa not thinking of anything very much. Just look at the comments about Katie Hopkins on this thread - none of us know her, she's a person too, but she's fair game as all celebrities are. This is just what happens and you're not going to stop it.

What can be done however is give these young women proper guidance and support in dealing with the arseholes, rather than throwing them into the spotlight unprepared after being a barmaid in Dagenham. That's where the real responsibility lies, not with Rob in Cheltenham making stupid comments about people he doesn't know on telly to make his mates laugh.

Synecdoche · 15/09/2019 00:55

I thought the same too, @Madreb, about her disabled comment.

It seems she had internalised a lot of the hatred she received.

Fuma · 15/09/2019 01:00

Oh and it was very disturbing indeed to see a clearly distressed and traumatised young woman who has clearly subjected herself to surgery and also quite plainly has an eating disorder as a result of her experience attempt to deal with said trauma by yet again navigating, untended, the choppy shores of celebrity expression in the hope that she will find some resolution. I mean, I hope she does, but the odds aren't looking good based on what was screened. She has been utterly damaged by what she has gone through and there seems to be fuck all support around her. Just shocking.

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