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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To assume everyone has their shit together!?

37 replies

Jess389 · 14/09/2019 16:47

I'm sure it's not just me who falls into this trap but a lot of the time I feel exhausted trying to juggle all the responsibilities and duties that come with motherhood, yet most others seem to do it with ease.

Anyone else feel like this?
Or what do you feel guilty about not doing?
What do you let slide so you keep all the other stuff going?
I'm just curious.

Personally I've let my fitness hit rock bottom so that the house, kids and job don't take a hit 😂

OP posts:
bluebeck · 14/09/2019 16:49

Yeah when mine were little I let the housework slide.

I don't regret it, they were fabulous years.

littlepaddypaws · 14/09/2019 16:50

a lot of peeps wouldn't be on here if they did, we're all doing our best but winging it to a degree, i know i am Smile

trilbydoll · 14/09/2019 16:53

I ran 12km this morning which is brilliant but the house is a tip, we have nothing in for tea and the kids have watched way too much TV today. Can't have everything!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 14/09/2019 17:00

I suspect many of us feel like that.

Firstly, make sure you don’t have more than your fair share of the burden. If you are running around wrangling DC and cooking dinner whilst your DP is watching Netflix something is wrong.

Automate as much as you can eg bills, appointments, repeat prescriptions, reminders etc.

I also lowered my standards in terms of things like packed lunches - it doesn’t need to be lovingly crafted it just needs to be nutritious and edible

Toodlehoooo · 14/09/2019 17:03

OP no one has their shit together in EVERY way I can guarantee it! Whether it’s financially, physically, emotionally, parenting wise, psychologically, at home, at work, in relationships etc etc we always falter in one way. We are all ONLY human! ❤️

CoolWivesClub2019 · 14/09/2019 17:11

In terms of housework it’s my bedroom.

The whole house can be gleaming and perfect...as long as you don’t open my door. It’s where I dump stuff I don’t know where to put 😂

Mumminmum · 14/09/2019 17:17

Wait what? Chlorinated salad? Where? Which kind? How can you tell? I don't want to eat bleach. It's toxic.

ToLiveInPeace · 14/09/2019 17:20

I don't have kids and I'm so exhausted by life that I worry people at work might have thought I was drunk today. I definitely don't have my shit together!

Pharlapwasthebest · 14/09/2019 17:22

@Jess389
You need to be you as well as a mum, wife, employee. It’s the most important thing. If you’re on a plane and the oxygen masks come down, you put yours on first, if you don’t you die and then you can’t help anyone else.
Obviously your kids are your priority (that’s what mums do), but you must do stuff for you too.
Plus, fuck the housework, it’s so boring Grin. Do the minimum.

Myriade · 14/09/2019 17:29

Nope I dont have it together.
And thats because Ive tried to look like I had ot together for years, tris to be everything for everyine and ended up unwell form ot looking after myself.
Coming back form that is hard. But I know that rom now on, I am and will always out myself first as well as doing it all by DELEGATING as much as i can to everyone else (aka my H and the teens dcs). And what doesnt get done just doesnt.

Ilikeviognier · 14/09/2019 17:41

I feel like this and I totally don’t have mine together- it’s a massive struggle and I have a million reminders for the thousands of things I have to do every week.

My oldest has started school this week and it suddenly feels even harder!

Mammylamb · 14/09/2019 18:10

Oh @Jess389. I feel you. I feel like it just now. Manage working 4 days with bringing up a toddler. But most of time house is a mess and I’m just knackered. Feel tired and sore all the time although there’s nothing actually wrong with me.

tryingtosortmylifeout · 14/09/2019 18:13

No, my life is a total mess - hence the username! Sad I honestly don’t think I’ll ever have my shit together!

Turquoisetamborine · 14/09/2019 18:13

I really don’t know how you can tick all the boxes and be a good parent. I work part time three days a week so for those three days my head is in my work, I work hard for the hours I’m there. I leave work and don’t think about it again til I go back four days later.
My two week days off I have a clean and tidy house, all the laundry done and the kids taken to and from school with nutritious meals cooked. They get fed by grandparents the other days.

I can’t manage to do all of these things on any one day. There’s only me, my H is helpful but doesn’t see things that need done like I do.

My fitness has also hit rock bottom apart from walking too.

SistersOfMerci · 14/09/2019 18:14

Outwardly we probably look like we have our shit together but we really don't. Our shit is currently all over the shop whilst we sit on the sofa drinking wine ignoring aforementioned shit Grin

Ylvamoon · 14/09/2019 18:21

Grin who actually cares?
In the past my house was reasonably clean and I managed a cooked dinner on the table... Than I discovered exercise! Cycling swimming walking attached to all that me time. Now the house is more of a tip and dinner sometimes late or arrives in a dubious carton...
I am happy, the rest of the family is old enough to sort stuff if they want to!

Kaddm · 14/09/2019 18:24

Nobody has their shit together. We all have too much to do.

madcatladyforever · 14/09/2019 18:26

Nope, shit is flying free in my house. I'm supposed to be moving house next week and nothing is organised.

Original poster
Jess389 · 14/09/2019 18:31

I work 4 days a week, have two toddlers and try my best to keep on top of the house. When I do get some time for 'me time' I just can't be arsed dragging myself to the gym 😂 I'd rather have a bath and an early night!

I'm glad it's not just me!

OP posts:
noeyedeer · 14/09/2019 18:36

Bath and early night definitely counts as me time! My house is a tip, but the kids have done their reading, swimming and music practise tonight. They're currently in front of screens and drawing whilst I Mumsnet in the garden with a small wine. I could be vacuuming or cleaning a bathroom, but I'm not. I'm sure most people think I have my shit together, I really don't.

Mammylamb · 14/09/2019 18:40

We have a room that’s full of boxes from when we moved in 3 years ago. Instead of clearing it out, we keep adding to it.

The rest of the house looks presentable though

DaffodilsAndDandelions · 14/09/2019 18:52

Have you read “Little Miss Busy surviving motherhood” one of the tongue in cheek adult mister men’s? Found it quite enlightening in a slightly jokey way! Even those who loook like they have it all together, DON’T!

riotlady · 14/09/2019 18:56

Hahahaha, definitely not here!

SunshineAngel · 14/09/2019 18:56

My whole house is a tip (bar the kitchen which has just been done). Moved in with DH and the house has been neglected for years for various reasons (all reasonable) but I said I'd help him sort it. We are, it's just taking SO much longer than I thought it would, and the majority is still a mess.

Mammylamb · 14/09/2019 19:04

@Mumminmum. I’m lost! Where was the comment about chlorinated salad?

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