I know I am, but I just needed a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself before I go back to bright, shiny and happy.
It’s my birthday tomorrow; not a big one, I’m in my late 20’s. I am fully aware that I’m therefore way too old to give a crap about my birthday etc, but I think I’m just a bit fed up in general and a big occasion has highlighted it.
Due to a change in job I’m back living at home with my DM, who totally forgot it was even my birthday until yesterday when she was deciding whether to take overtime at work.
I know from previous years that she doesn’t really ‘do’ birthdays, and neither does my DB, and I’ve been told by both of them not to expect any presents because they’re both skint, and have to work on Monday so not to expect to go for drinks or dinner or anything.
I’ve now got no DP, no friends as I’ve moved miles away, and it’s just a bit depressing to be celebrating your birthday pretty much alone, or with people who you know will be counting the cost of everything.
My DM and DB also have a history of getting into huge fights the day before my birthday, and spend all day giving each other the silent or icy treatment.
Don’t get me wrong; I love my family and they love me, and it’s not about the money. I think the trouble is that I love spoiling people on their birthdays; decorations, presents, their favourite breakfast etc; I really like taking the chance to celebrate their special day, and I know I won’t get anything like that. Again, I get that that’s my problem and nobody else’s, and I should just stop doing it. I’ll also probably hear from my ‘D’ Dad for the first time since last year, and he’ll spend exactly thirty seconds speaking to me before getting back to my stepsisters birthday which is on the same day; for context, last year he didn’t call me because he had taken her to Italy for a four day birthday weekend which ended with him presenting her with her brand new Audi.
Urgh, I don’t even know what my AIBU is, and this has got super long. I’ll probably delete it, but kudos to anyone who made it to the end.