To be worried that ds can't talk yet at 21 months old?

[Username2468]

Ds is 21 months old and can't talk yet, he just babbles. He seems to understand when I say certain things. If I say food names he walks towards the kitchen and if I say upstairs nappy change he walks towards the living room door to go upstairs. He doesn't turn round when I say his name though and only stops momentarily when I say "no" and then tries to continue what he is doing. He isn't that interested in toys except his bead maze and moving trucks along the floor. He prefers to run around lots and climb on the furniture. He can't use the shape sorter toy properly yet but he can put the shapes into the correct place on an app on my phone.

I'm really worried he is behind in his development. Should I ring the health visitor office? My Mil said aren't we really worried that he can't talk yet, are you not talking to him. I talk to him lots, but I'm worried is it enough. Am I not doing enough, is it my fault? Am I a bad mother?

Nothing to worry about

Try not to worry at all, my oldest son just babbled incoherently and now is an articulate 13 year old, they all just move at their own pace. Sounds like you do plenty with him , if you would like more reassurance definitely phone your HV.

My DS didn't really talk until about 27 months. And he was a bit odd at group activities, always off by himself, doing something weird We thought he might have some development issues, but then he started talking and now he talks ALL THE TIME. He's 12, and described by the school as "very able" and as having "many friendships". So I think 21 months is way too young to judge.

Btw, we weren't really worried if he had had any development issues - we just loved him as he was. He was so cute and so lovely and quiet

The thing is, if you get a referral to SALT, go to a drop in, get a portage assessment etc and there’s no problem then you’ve lost nothing - best case scenario he suddenly starts talking and you cancel! But waiting times can be very long - took six months to get SALT assessments for my twins, and they’d made no progress in that time. Had they started talking and their other delays had resolved then great, but they didn’t. I was convinced to watch and wait for the twin with fewer delays, but then portage and SALT got involved and pushed for a referral. Waiting would have only delayed the help and the diagnosis.

Does he point things out to you? Did he wave and clap at the roughly the right times when he was younger (9 months ish)?

The only part of your post that I find a bit odd is that he doesn't respond to his name. Everything else doesn't seem too concerning to me. Do get him checked out though, if only for your own peace of mind.

21 months is still young.

My twins were at least 27 months before we could really understand anything much they were saying.
Certainly they weren't saying anything understandable at 21 months.

If it were only the speech delay I wouldn’t be as concerned, although i would still recommend going to a SALT drop in. But this really does describe my DT1 to a T:

He doesn't turn round when I say his name though and only stops momentarily when I say "no" and then tries to continue what he is doing. He isn't that interested in toys except his bead maze and moving trucks along the floor. He prefers to run around lots and climb on the furniture. He can't use the shape sorter toy properly yet but he can put the shapes into the correct place on an app on my phone.

He never waved, pointed, clapped, never copied anything at all. DT2 did and then suddenly stopped - now 3 and has only just started pointing this week.

Have you done the M-CHAT test online OP? It’s very quick and is not a diagnostic but gives you the risk of ASD and tells you whether you should pursue assessment.

Sorry, link here www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child

Not RTFT do apologies for repetition - just to say I've been through this (arguably still am) recently and feel the stress. Easy for people to say don't compare when their babies seem to be advanced 🙈

[in my area at least] 2 year checks are done at 2.5 yrs, but on my request they brought mine forward to 2 and sent my DS for a hearing test. Having done a few assessments and decided he was low for autism (a concern purely because we had speech regression - they wouldn't have been as worried if he just had never tried) We mutually decided that we would schedule another assessment for 2.5 and have telephone contact in between.

The next check is in October and he has come on leaps and bounds since. Still not stringing any words together really (perhaps the odd time which is maybe fluke or just repetition as opposed to conscious choice) but he's really trying to repeat words. And singing 😍

Rule out hearing if it will put your mind at ease, and then just keep on reading and speaking to him and know that you are not the only one whose baby isn't speaking - and I mean that in a supportive way not a dismissive way! Finally, know that you are a great mum to be focusing on his development.

They all move at their own pace but a small proportion of children have genuine delays or speech disorders.
Identifying these early on and inputting with speech therapy is way better than leaving it to chance.

Haven't read all the replies but I say ring a HV or go to a drop in clinic. From what you've said it could be something or nothing. But fwiw I rang the HV when my DS was 23 months old saying I was worried about his speech and asking when the 2 year check was, and she said they were fully booked for months and they usually do them around 2.5 but she asked me some questions and was so concerned she came to do a 2 year check at our home the next week and referred him for a speech therapist assesment. She said I should have phoned sooner and I felt awful. This was last year and IIRC he could say about 5 words. He's just been discharged at 2.8, now his speech is approximately the level of an average 2 year old, but progressing quickly. We don't know the reason but I think it was due to very waxy ears and mild glue ear.

As for the shape sorter, do you think his vision is ok? On an iPad the screen will be lit up and maybe easier to see?

Talk to the health visitor. My eldest was diagnosed with autism because of her lack of speech. It's a long road to a diagnosis so get advice early.

We had loads of assessments and a genetic test and it took weeks for the paediatric referral so yeah do talk to the HV.

I'd suggest getting a hearing test through your GP or HV to ensure he can hear all speech sounds clearly.

Remember it can all change so quickly.
DS wasn’t saying much when he was about 20 months. What we did was stop giving him stuff when he just ‘grunted’ for it and asked him to make an effort to ‘ask’ for it properly.
So for instance, we knew he knew how to say ‘boobs’ (I was still nursing him then) so I’d encourage him to say it (it sounded more like ‘beep’ but I knew what he meant!)

It’s like something clicked after then - he realised that speaking was a way for him to get what he wants. He is 23 months now and is singing full songs, speaking full sentences, counting and talks in sentences most of the time.

I’m not saying this approach would work for every child of course, just wanted to share what happened with us