To be worried that ds can't talk yet at 21 months old?

[Username2468]

Ds is 21 months old and can't talk yet, he just babbles. He seems to understand when I say certain things. If I say food names he walks towards the kitchen and if I say upstairs nappy change he walks towards the living room door to go upstairs. He doesn't turn round when I say his name though and only stops momentarily when I say "no" and then tries to continue what he is doing. He isn't that interested in toys except his bead maze and moving trucks along the floor. He prefers to run around lots and climb on the furniture. He can't use the shape sorter toy properly yet but he can put the shapes into the correct place on an app on my phone.

I'm really worried he is behind in his development. Should I ring the health visitor office? My Mil said aren't we really worried that he can't talk yet, are you not talking to him. I talk to him lots, but I'm worried is it enough. Am I not doing enough, is it my fault? Am I a bad mother?

At two and a half my eldest daughter could say "mummy, Daddy, and Lee" When she did start to talk, it was in sentences. As if she wasn't going to do it until she could do it perfectly. She's in her forties now, and she's still the same. If she can't do something perfectly first time, she refuses to try again.
All children are different. When I was childminding I cared for two children. Edward was with me from a few weeks old, and I never heard him make a sound (no babbling, laughing or crying) His mum said he was the same at home. At about 23 months old she brought him in, and I'd put the Christmas decorations up. He shocked us both when he said "Ooh pretty! Who did it?" By contrast, Georgina said, at 18 months old, when asked what she fancied for lunch "I like lobster thermidor, actually". At aged 3, their speech was pretty much equal.
At your son's age, he won't be playing with other children, just alongside them, so the fact that he runs around and pretty much ignores other children , is perfectly normal.

My DS1 didn’t utter a single word until he was 2 and 4 months old. Until then he would point and say ‘uh’
Health visitor came round and did some play work with him.
Once he started talking he want for nothing to talking in complete conversations in about a week, we then also realised he could read fluently.
He was highly intelligent, way ahead academically but he does have a lot of ASD traits and wouldn’t toilet train until her always 6 - had to have physio etc.
He’s 12 now and doing really really well at school, never going to be the most sociable but his literacy skills always blow teachers away so not talking at an early age hasn’t held him back with his language!

DD on the other hand was talking in complete grownup type sentences and conversations by 18 months and hasn’t shut up since!

DS1 probably followed the ‘normal’ path in terms of ages he did stuff but he had to have speech therapy due to hearing problems.

They have been brought up exactly the same so you can see there’s such a variation dispite that.

My 22 month old dd can't say any words. She is talking non stop and very expressive when she does talk but it's like a different language. I took her to see health visitor two months ago and they weren't worried at all. I've heard dd say daddy once and oh dear once but that's all. Im trying to not worry about it but it's very tricky

I am a Speech Pathologist. Typically by 2 years a child has approximately 50 words and is beginning to combine them. I would take him to get his hearing checked and then make an appt with a Speech Pathologist

Oh and just to add, I can watch old videos of dd now and clearly hear words that I didn’t pick up at the time because my ear is much more attuned to her now she talks (non-stop)

Word for word, exactly what I would say.

Both mine were well over 21 months, oldest was 4.5yrs (good lord she doesn’t stop. At all.)

On his second birthday mine could say “again” “lolly” and “dada”. He used to sign milk to refer to me (charming!).

We had his hearing checked which came back fine and then while we were waiting for a referral he just started talking. My memory is honestly that he went from almost no words to completely fluent speech. I remember him saying “mummy I need a tissue, my nose is all runny” when about 2 months earlier he couldn’t even say mummy.

If you're worried, contact HV.

My DS was a babbler, few words but nothing particularly spectacular. Didn't call me Mummy till he was 18 months. Understood everything, ignored no (bit he still does to be fair!) Between 22m and 26m he developed language. At 30m check he was talking in proper sentences and HV was impressed with his vocabulary. He's almost 3 now and it's the getting him to shut up that's the problem.

Hi OP. I've not read the full thread (sorry!) but just wanted to say my DD didn't say a word until she was almost 3. She's now 3 and 4 months and speaking in full sentences with an amazing vocab.
We did do a lot of speech therapy, you can ask your HV about this, or ask your gp to refer you.
What we did mainly was makaton sings so that she could communicate basic needs and breaking things down into very simple language. Repeating single words clearly and encouraging her to copy (I'm sure you do this already and it's very upsetting sometimes when you get nothing back, but keep going). It will come eventually. I remember it so well, just feeling so helpless and like it's your fault, but it's nothing you've done (or not done) at all. Keep talking and he will get there in his own time.

Also feel free to PM me if you want, for advice or just support. It can be quite isolating if you don't know anyone in RL who understands.

I would say that is on the verge of speech delay. My cousins son didnt say a word until he was 3 but they didnt want any intervention and he has certainly caught up to his peers albeit with slightly poor diction. I think the first thing they would look at is a hearing test, obviously if his hearing was reduced this would affect how much he would be repeating. I'm sure they will give him plenty of time and a wait and see approach but it gets him on the radar for any further support if required at a later stage. I would expect him to be able to follow a simple command such as 'Go and get me your shoes please' which would display that he can hear and understand you. They may also give you some early pointers of things that we all naturally do which may hinder speech like correcting attempts or rushing him a little.

@Username2468 Read this!

Username2468 No, wrong one!!! haha!

@Username2468 Sorry, it's old age!

81Byerley thanks

He sounds quite similar to one of my twins. They were both diagnosed with ASD at 2. However, there are also similarities with friends kids who weren’t talking at that age but talk now at 3.

Definitely contact your HV. Also check and see if your local children’s centres have SALT (speech and language) drop ins as that’s a quick way in to the system.

I would also contact your local portage team and ask if you can self refer for assessment. Someone will come out and assess him, in all areas of development to see if he qualifies for portage sessions (this is essentially play therapy to help development and is the absolute best thing we’ve done for our two).

At 21 months I was deeply concerned about my twins developmentally. Turns out I was right but either way it would have been right to get them assessed so any help needed was in place as soon as possible.

I’d also really recommend the book An Early Start For Your Child With Autism - I’m not saying your child has autism! However, the strategies in there for improving communication, socialisation and play are so helpful for any child with delays or issues in these areas whether autistic or not.

Also, what I would look out for far more than speech is understanding words. That’s a much bigger red flag than speech itself. My twins are three and one is incredibly smart but he doesn’t understand that words mean anything at all. Working on this is really valuable for all kids but may not be effective if there’s a neurodevelopmental issue.

Things you could try:

• really focussing oh labelling - eg “oh a car. What a nice red car. Do you like cars?”

• objects of reference - eg. having an object for each word you use often and holding it up while saying it eg. Holding up a nappy and saying “time for a nappy change” or a toy car and saying “we are going to the car now”. If your child doesn’t look at your face /mouth when you speak, hold the object right by your face so he’s more likely to look at you.

• Simplifying your speech so rather than long sentences like “okay let’s have breakfast now” you say “breakfast time”. This has definitely helped us a bit.

Signing is great if your child mimics. Mine do not which makes signing very difficult but we have taught one twin one sign by teaching him hand over hand (where you literally take his hands and make the sign each time). Hand over hand is great for play skills too - hold their hand and get them to stack bricks, post shapes etc and repeat over and over. Often they’ll then do it themselves but it can take a lot of repetition.

@Sinkgirl ,sorry to de rail the thread a bit ,my son would never sign either he's nine and non verbal I think we have had " more" and "biscuit" and that's it ,he does use PEC,s though,so your twins use this?

We got speech therapy through the hv, I think it helped but I will never know if he would have clicked either way, ds is fine now and at 8 and wants to be a writer and is one of the best in his class for reading and writing.

My Uncle didn't speak till he was 3or 4 (2 language family) and then came out fluent in both languages and is a professor of English.

So don't stress,

Dont wait til the 2 year check, its actually around 30 months.

It you're worried, speak to the health visitors and see what they say. They wont mind at all and it will put your mind at rest. That's what they are there for.

Though my daughter has slightly fuzzy speech and the HV who assessed her and said she used to be a speech therapist said she was normal and ave appropriate but she did turn out to have blocked ears and poor hearing which we had to have grommets fitted in so dont be afraid to get a second opinion from a medical profession if you don't agree.

I think most kids that age understand and ignore the word 'no'

I don't think it's helpful ,for people to give anecdotal examples of late talker,s and everything being ok , hopefully it will be but sometimes it isn't, first of all I would have his hearing checked , the health visitor can refer to all necessary agencies ,i.e. portage ,speech therapy etc if there are issues than its better to get them picked up sooner

They use PECS a little but only for something very obvious and straightforward eg a snack or a toy... I can’t see how they’ll progress it to proper communication but we shall see!

My DS couldn’t speak until he was three, he just babbled. The HV was going to refer him to a speech therapist but he suddenly exploded with hundreds of words shortly after his third birthday. He’s nine and a half now and never shuts up .

X2boys, it provides a balanced view in addition to your own anecdotal post and those from others who had a different experience , time and talking to her hv will tell and being that the chance that there is developmental issues is relatively low then a balanced view is quite helpful Imo.

Unless you have a degree or professional experience in speach therapy, child development, SEN etc etc you can only offer your own experience.

have a look at the stages of pre-talking and see where he is and if he is progressing through them. I can't remember them precisely, but something like - babbles, echoes sounds you make, 'talks' in short bursts that sound like sentences, but aren't actually words, strings letters together (ddddd) then pairs badabada)

Also, does he respond to your language, so pass me the teddy, go and get your book, where is the drink? At this age I would expect him to be able to follow what you are saying with simple things.

If you're concerned, trust your instincts. I 100% believe in this. Speak to your health visitor, or your GP. Find out if you can self refer to speech and language therapy (some LAs have a regular drop in session, which is what I mean by self-referral, and they will make an initial assessment).

When you're in the system, or on a waiting list to be in the system, you can decide whether you still need their services. Best to be on a waiting list and then come off it if your concerns are allayed, than not to be on it at all. Services are very, very stretched.

I went to a drop in SALT session when DS2 turned 2yo. I had concerns about his receptive language (understanding) and expressive language (outward expression). I had tried signing with him, which he didn't pick up at all. I realised later that he couldn't imitate, so certainly couldn't sign. At that age, he was a very happy child, very active, slept and ate well, enjoyed toys like blocks, trains etc. I had no other concerns about him.

We had some initial SALT sessions and some portage sessions. Neither had much impact at the time, but at least I felt that I was doing something. He was diagnosed with classic ASD at 3.6yo. I am glad that I followed my instincts and sought help, despite PIL telling me that DH didn't talk at that age either, and that it would come, and despite my older DS not talking very much at that age (although he had a different way of communicating his needs and observations, as he could sign).