To think that reading Mumsnet gives you a pretty poor view of the male race

[DownToTheSeaAgain]

Just that really. Unfortunately it seems, in the main, to be justified.

AIBU?

There is a lot of name calling and verbal insults flying around on relationship posts. I am stunned at the level of verbal abuse on this site with regards to referring to men and to be fair, women speaking to other women.

It’s one thing to swear, we are all adults. But posters name-calling other poster’s husbands as a holes and the c word and other such derogatory terms is not perhaps our finest moments as women or as human beings.

One thing I do know for sure though, is that when I walk out of the front door into real life, I do not witness every other woman screaming ‘c**t’ at various men on my way into town. I just never see really see it unless at a pub on the weekend and even then it isn’t regular.

On here however, it’s got something to do with a screen, access to a keyboard and relative anonymity.

I just think people are more likely to post if they're unhappy as opposed to feeling happy.

I personally am more horrified by the standards that some women are prepared to accept, and the excuses they make for not making changes about it.

Also the level of shock and outrage at some of the behaviour reported on here should reassure you. Posters that share lazy, abusive, manipulative or dishonest behaviour are largely told, by the majority, that it’s not normal and they shouldn’t put up with it.

@yulet i guess it depends what subreddits you view, some are an absolute joke but i find in general i see quite liberal views with other jokes that sure can take it too far but reddit has the same issue as MN that you dont know the people or how truthful they are. The other day i was in a conversation with somebody and they used language that gave the impression they were older then turns out they were 15 and just spouting platitudes on the subject they had heard from their parents.

It's never completely fair when he's not there to tell his side and will just get ripped to shreds. We won't always get the full story.

You don't need male sides of the story when you're an 11 year old walking down the street minding your own business and every other male you pass makes the 'show us your tits' comments, one in ten tries a grope, and you know you were damned lucky to get away from one of them. I wasn't thinking of relationships issues, but the proven male tendency to sexual aggression.

intolerant of nobbers should be added to MN's strapline.

This with bells on ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

I completely agree. Sick of seeing men getting slandered all the time. Have to hold my tongue with some posts, I see them as the women being the issue instead! Majority I see are stay at home Mom's slagging off their working partners, expecting them to take over and do everything with the children when they're home from work.

Of course MN will have a skewed sense of it, it almost all women, who for the most part, are talking about men, when discussing relationships.

If you went on a mens site, I'm sure youd see the same bias against women.
The truth, as always, is usually somewhere in the middle.
No one has the monopoly on good behaviour.

According therefore, to many MN posters most MILS, SILS and men in general are to be despised.
It is a bit funny that 90% of the time when OP is talking about someone turning up uninvited or putting their oar in it will be the mil, am always surprised when it's dm! I always think I'm love to hear the dp 's side, he's probably giving out in the same way about her mother

There are a lot of women on here who hate men. No matter what, they’ll try to make the man the bad guy when he’s the victim. Mumsnet gives me a poor judgement against women tbh. Especially feminism.

One of the reasons I enjoy MN is that it makes me appreciate my life, relatives and friends in a whole new way. Like watching soaps or reality tv and then turning it off and returning to my real life, wondering WTF women put up with and enable so much shitty behaviour in a culture where they have choices. Not just adult men, but raising sons.
The entire culture needs changing for everyone to thrive.

If what you read about some of the men is true (some will be, some made up), the ones being written about often are complete tossers.

I roll my eyes when all men are branded bastards, I've known some pretty shit women over the years, but it doesn't make every woman shit. I'm married to an absolute gem.

It's a given that there will always be wankers that are both male and female.

Yet you don't hear, on the whole, about women ganging up on small lads making sexually aggressive comments and trying to pull their pants down. You don't hear about women making up excuses to sneak into men's toilets and bathrooms to take pictures of men naked and put them up on the internet. In fact you don't hear of men being shamed over their bodies, yet it's a normal everyday experience for teenage girls and women everywhere. You certainly don't have men's sexual lives examined looking for fault at every opportunity.

Honestly the amount of whitewashing of men you get on here just lately is ridiculous. The entirety of the rest of British culture, and indeed the world, works against women: let us have just one website where we can tell the truth without interruption and what-about-the-poor-menz.

You can tell this threads going to be fun.

All you ever read is one side, her's, of a situation, the truth is probably somewhere else.

I do find that there are some very insecure women on here, once he is married or in a relationship he isn't allowed to see his family, ie parents etc., or have a contrary opinion, especially about babies. She is suddenly the Mother Theresa and fount of all knowledge about babies, merely by giving birth and is not to be contradicted, she, and her mother, are the gate-keepers for the 'little family'. He has to 'support' her, ie tug his forelock and agree, even is he thinks differently. I honestly can see why some men stray, they're certainly not made welcome in their own homes.
Mothers don't always know what's best for their babies, or don't you ever read anything else?

I wouldn’t say it’s justified but mn has certainly opened my eyes to how many horrible men there are out there.

Oh absolutely tilly trotter, all those men who have affairs, they definitely do it because they have a different view on sleep training to their partners and she won't listen, that absolutely makes them want to shag their co-worker.

There are shitty people in both sexes but I when it comes to parenting I think it's safe to say that shitty fathers outnumber the shitty mothers.

Yes but it’s obviously incredibly biased: very few people would think about posting how delightful their husbands/partners/male relatives are.
My personal experience is that view isn’t justified at all.

you don't hear of men being shamed over their bodies, yet it's a normal everyday experience for teenage girls and women everywhere
people shame men’s physical appearance all the time. For example, show me a female world leader who has been ridiculed as much as Trump (Btw I can’t stand him, but that’s not based on appearance).

The entirety of the rest of British culture, and indeed the world, works against women
Pfft. In Britain girls do better at school, attend university in greater numbers, and earn more than men after graduation. That many women then choose to prioritize family over career or choose less paid roles down the line, is hardly the fault of “British Culture”. Your broad brush stroke “the world is against us” stuff is counter productive. I wouldn’t cal, it feminism to be honest, as that does a disservice to the many feminists past and present who based their ideology on empirical fact rather than an ill defined bitterness.

Well it is @cam77 because if a woman wants a family, it's often hobson's choice due to the lack of childcare and, in many cases, a partner who isn't stepping up to fatherhood on a way that's conducive to her maintaining a full time high pressured career.

And the vast majority of women are not leaving school with excellent a levels and excelling at uni and going on to lucrative careers. The majority are fucking out of education as soon as they can and embarking, at best, on careers that, even with time gaining the necessary qualifications and years of experience, pay barely above nmw.

Ducking out of education😭

@pickachew
“a partner who isn't stepping up to fatherhood”
I agree that some men are unwilling to make career sacrifices after the birth of their child. But why choose such a man for a partner if this is an issue? Selection of partner, marriage and childbirth is a choice except is exceptional cases (in the UK at least) like arranged marriages

“And the vast majority of women are not leaving school with excellent a levels and excelling at uni and going on to lucrative careers.”
Nor are the majority of men. I’m not trying to be clever or difficult, but big statements need ample evidence to support them, otherwise it’s just inflammatory stuff with little basis in reality. I don’t see how that benefits anyone.