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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think owning a dog is selfish?

222 replies

hannadashery · 13/09/2019 16:04

...with the exception of working dogs or as companions for retired people.

The majority of dog owners work, so in a 24 hour period in which their owner spends the majority of time sleeping or at work, a dog will be very lucky to get 3hrs walking a day and will probably spend the rest of the time bored/sleeping.

I don't believe dogs enjoy Netflix programs and highly doubt their owners are constantly hugging/petting them every evening. It feels that dogs sole purpose is to pad out that free time the owners have in between all their other activities. And sure dogs love their owners because who's going to hate the person that feeds them and provides temporary reprieve from absolute boredom.

Expecting an absolute flaming as so many people own dogs but from a non pet owners perspective it seems majority of dogs are basically slaves and are blissfully ignorant of their predicament.

Just thought I'd throw that as a light-hearted discussion on a Friday afternoon Smile

OP posts:
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MyCatProbablyHatesYou · 13/09/2019 17:00

Well most things could be considered selfish... Having children for example etc...

I do agree that people shouldn't have a dog if they are going to be out of the house all hours and can't get a walker/daycare but there are so so many dogs wanting loving homes, I'd much rather a dog be alone for a few hours a day but be loved and treated well.

We are very fortunate that H can take our dog to work with him as he's self employed. Even though he's with someone all day, I'm sure he still gets bored occasionally. But we love him and he's spoilt rotten so I don't feel guilty!

Crimebustersofthesea · 13/09/2019 17:01

My dog was bred to be raced, when he was retired we rescued him. We both work but from home so dog is rarely left alone. He's asleep upstairs right now on our bed, having just popped down for a treat. He's had an hours walk this morning and will have another this evening. Presumably it would have been better for him if he'd been put to sleep after he finished his racing career Hmm

Fuma · 13/09/2019 17:02

I love animals though. I really do. Birds especially (this is a species that is massively negatively impacted by the human activity of having pets just as an aside). I go to places especially to see certain types of animals and birds, have done for years, and get a genuine massive sense of joy from doing so. However a big part of this for me is looking at and sometimes respectfully interacting with animals doing their thing in their own space. I don't want to own them.

Crimebustersofthesea · 13/09/2019 17:03

Dogs chose to live with humans hundreds of years ago. It's a mutually beneficial relationship.

Alittleodd · 13/09/2019 17:04

Aibu to think this thread is just a sneaky reverse psychology ploy to get dog photos?

PutyourtoponTrevor · 13/09/2019 17:04

There's dog owners and there's shit dog owners, any owner who leaves a dog on its own all day is a shit dog owner. Our dog gets walked at 5.30, I leave for work at 7, she's on her own until 8.30 when mum (retired) picks her up. She then mostly sleeps at mums house with her dog, they have a bit of a play and are walked at lunchtime and around 4.00 pm. I pick her up around 6, we go for a run on the fields, home, play, snooze, play, final walk about 9.30, last wee in the garden about 10.30. She seems pretty happy to me, she's currently lying on the couch next to me chewing squeaky pig

Fuma · 13/09/2019 17:04

That was to goodwinter btw.

kimikoglenn · 13/09/2019 17:05

Are you vegan OP?

kimikoglenn · 13/09/2019 17:06

Sorry not OP, @Fuma?

nonmerci · 13/09/2019 17:06

Could you say the same about having children? It’s selfish because you can’t be with them 24/7?

Ludicrous argument. Most dogs are fine left alone for a few hours, many owners employ a dog walker or even a dog sitter if necessary during the day.

Fuma · 13/09/2019 17:08

Yes.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/09/2019 17:08

My dog seems pretty content with his lot but I don’t work. Wolves attached themselves to humans not the other way round.

Yabu to say all dog ownership is selfish with 2 exceptions. There are loads of set ups, where dogs needs are met almost all the time more and many more people, who pay for their dogs to be looked after part or all of the time they are out.

Bonniefoible · 13/09/2019 17:11

New day, new goady, shit stirring thread.

As I look across the room at my "slave" greyhound asleep on the sofa, who has his every need met, constant company, and his friend the snoring Labrador, I'll just send you a biscuit from both of them to you on there behave. Biscuit

STST · 13/09/2019 17:12

@Fuma - I agree!

Inherently selfish; pets are bred only to be pets (like cows are bred only to become dinner). They have no autonomy - they are purchased and used albeit in a different way.

I would NEVER EVER wish to see any harm come to an animal. I love them. I do not understand the need to own one though, like a possession. Very happy to see animals being animals (wild), and humans being humans. Co-existing with them on the planet is a wonderful thing.

What I cannot get my head around is the need to possess/own/dominate another species in order to create an emotional relationship with it. Feeling a desire to give or receive love from a mute dependent creature of another species blows my mind...

yearinyearout · 13/09/2019 17:12

You don't have to be an oap to be at home. We both work from home so the dogs that we have had have been very much looked after and had company the majority of the time. That reminds me, I need another dog 🙁

madcatladyforever · 13/09/2019 17:13

I think it's incredibly selfish having dogs if you work full time unless they are in doggy day care which costs a lot of money.
I have to work full time so I have a cat or cats. They are very happy on their own snoozing and can take themselves outside for a walk. They are naturally solitary and don't need another cat for company.

ButterflyOne1 · 13/09/2019 17:14

@RedSuitcase My dog gets three walks a day, two meals a day, sleeps on my bed. He is sleeping during the day regardless whether I'm in or not. He is 12 now, he needs his sleep.

yearinyearout · 13/09/2019 17:14

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets what a beautiful colour, is that a fox red lab?

kimikoglenn · 13/09/2019 17:15

That makes sense.

I am too (though perhaps you will not agree after this admission) and had the same thoughts about animals ownership but fell into rehoming dogs and although I still wonder about it all at times, I cant imagine life without them now.

It is hard ethically speaking.

Original poster
hannadashery · 13/09/2019 17:15

I appreciate there are owners who work part time and lavish all their spare time and money on their pets, but to think this is largely the norm is deluded imo.

24% of adults own dog. These won't be made up of mostly retired/part time workers.

If most full-time working owners paid for dog walkers every day thered be way more dog walking businesses than there are.

Walk around any typical town and the behavior of dogs and attitude of owners is a far cry from the perfect picture owners on here are painting.

Dogs are another accessory to Netflix, mumsnet the gym etc

OP posts:
DannyWallace · 13/09/2019 17:17

No, bugger off.

Me and my husband work full time. We're able to change our shifts around so one starts earlier and therefore finishes earlier, we both get home for lunch and we get a dog walker (plus they are walked every morning and evening). So they maybe have a couple of hours alone at a time.

Our weekends are spent out on big walks with them, up hills etc. We do sit and snuggle with them every night. They are a part of our family and are our everything.

Don't judge all working dog owners!

Crimebustersofthesea · 13/09/2019 17:18

So surely your op should read 'working full time out of the home without adequate care for your dog is selfish'. Which I think most people would probably agree with.

ControversialFerret · 13/09/2019 17:18

Dog number one was a working dog who was abandoned - as in driven out to the middle of nowhere and tied to a tree and left - when she broke her leg. Fortunately someone found her and brought her into the rescue that I support.

Dog number two was kept in a shed until he was broken out by a concerned bystander, and brought to the rescue centre.

I have a home office and am fortunate to have a very large and secure garden - the doors of the house are open from 7am-9pm and the dogs wander in and out as they feel like it. On the days when I'm not here a dog walker comes in to let them out, run them round and play with them. I know he does because I've got CCTV covering my land and I see him on the cameras running around with the dogs.

As for the environmental aspect - every part of humans being alive and functioning causes environmental detriment. Regardless of how green and conscientious you are it's simply not possible to leave zero carbon footprint unless you are living an off-grid tribal existence. So I find your logic that children are acceptable because they grow up to become taxpayers, slightly bizarre - since when does paying tax lessen one's environmental impact?

My dogs don't exist only because of me - they were already here because of someone else's selfishness. All I've done is give them a home and love and care.

queenMab99 · 13/09/2019 17:18

It probably is selfish, I got my dog because I need to walk regularly and have no self motivation, he makes me go out twice every day and walk for at least an hour, he is my companion since my husband died and has improved my life enormously. In the other hand he will probably save the NHS having to spend quite so much on my care and treatment as hopefully my health is better than it would have been , without a dog.

DannyWallace · 13/09/2019 17:20

Also, there's loads of dog walkers where I am. They're all completely full too so there's more wanted!!