To think that it's shameful that England (I think Scotland does) won't recognise common law marriage?

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

I've never understood why that's the case. Some States in the US do, the same as Canada and even some Latin American countries. Given the statistics of cohabitation it would only make sense?

and there is not and has never been such a thing as the common law in Scots law.

This is also not true. Scotland is a hybrid legal system, and has both civil law and common law elements.

But you don't even want common law marriage to be recognised, OP.
If you did, you'd be happy for your partnership to be recognised as a marriage right now - but you don't. you only want it to apply if you die when still together - simply because you think making a will is too much trouble.

I think marriage is a serious contract and its rights and responsibilities shouldn't be imposed on you without your specific consent. That said, I do think courts should have the right to look at more than child maintenance when partners split up after many years of settled living together and there are children involved. It doesn't seem to me that it is in the best interests of children that their parent (usually the mother) gets fucked over in a situation where all assets are in the other parent's name.

If you want your partner to have certain protections then go to a solicitor and sort it out that way.

No need to change the law of the land to suit you.

In most countries it's two years Redwinestillfine. Australia, Israel, Mexico amongst others.

Btw I have a will now with whatever little I was left. My partner is a lot more honourable than my exH as I offered to have a registrar's wedding to get all the legal framework sorted. He's also my NOK as I have no family either.

He refused as he wants to give me what I didn't have the first time, I think that really speaks volumes of him. Unlike my exH who up to this day he's still being an idiot.

Men who have SAH or lower earning partners are treated the way you were treated upon divorce all the time and no one complains that it's unfair.

Yabu (and a bit selfish) because you can get what you want by writing a will. I'm widowed, and want my house and asserts to go to my children should I die. In your way of thinking, the only way I can ensure that happens is to never live with a partner ever again. Seems a bit harsh considering I was widowed in my thirties. I know I can't marry again and leave my house to my dc, and because of that I agree with you that pre nups should be legally binding, but why should I be denied the right to live with someone without financial penalty just so that people in your position don't have to bother making a will?

Ok so doesn’t the will solve the problem?

Absolutely not .

If you want your partner to have certain protections then go to a solicitor and sort it out that way.

A simple enough solution, you’d think. But OP doesn’t want the ‘hassle’. She just wants to be a little bit married in the ways that make things easier for her, but not at all married for the bits she’s not so keen on.

YABU.

I lived with my ex-partner for nearly ten years. I felt as if we were married.

He got very abusive and violent and I ended up moving out in a rush when he was in hospital. I am so so glad that we weren't yoked together legally just because we'd cohabited for years.

In the few (very few) US states that recognize common law marriage, cohabitation is not enough. There must also be a "holding out" that they are married as in such things as name-changing, identifying as husband and wife on various documents, etc.

No I don't think it's shameful. Getting married is easy if you do a simple registry office ceremony and soon you'll be able to have a civil partnership if you have a thing about the patriarchal nature of marriage.

I know people say some men won't commit - well women need to make a decision about whether they want to stay with them and have kids then. I don't think you should impose the legal contract on people.

o, you want what you want, and you don’t want what you don’t want, and there should be legal recognition of that in terms that suit you, is that the general gist?

What colourlessgreenidea said.

YABU. By recognising common law marriage these countries are taking away the feeedom to arrange one’s own domestic affairs. The state has no right to dictate the terms of your domestic relationship like that.

YABU. People shouldn’t drift into legal contracts by accident. If you want to be married it’s exceptionally easy to make that happen.

Nope, I find it shameful that so many adults sprog off with every 'partner' and don't bother to research the financial and legal implications of their decisions. Scotland doesn't have 'common law marriage', that is a myth. If you want the legal protection of marriage then get married. The whole of society is not here to confer rights on ignorant people who make poor lifestyle decisions and don't take personal responsibility for their actions.

We actually have wills (for our joint property in the UK) and a NOK agreement.

My property abroad is a different matter and I have no will over there (something I should sort out soon). They do recognise common law marriage (a defacto is that we have children). The law over there means that as he hasn't helped with the purchasing of said properties (and we're acquired before we met) he has no claim to them unless I die.

I guess I'm comparing it to that law and how it works for me in my very own particular case.

@NailsNeedDoing you can remarry and leave your estate to your children. You just need to write a new Will to that effect post marriage (marriage invalidates wills predating the marriage but that is all).

I wouldn't want it to be judged as being in a 'common law marriage' as if I want to marry my partner I would. It is an active choice.

Well, comparing laws is rather pointless, I mean, some countries have a death penalty and we don't.

Get a will. Get married. Both legal agreements. Shacking up isn't a legal agreement in and of itself and hopefully never will be.

Just as a general tip, a will doesn't have to be a hassle. You don't even need to get a lawyer to help. You can get an online template, or buy one from WH Smith.

If you have complicated assets or want to set up trusts etc then you should see a solicitor, but a simple will can very easily be drawn up by the lay person.

I think the difficulty arises when women have had children and been primary carer at financial detriment and the home is in the boyfriend’s name (doesn’t have to be that way round but that is more common) then that woman could find herself with nothing after say a 20/30 year relationship during which she has contributed to the family.
However I think that marriage is and should be a choice and women should not have children outside of marriage simply because they put themselves at a disadvantage by doing so.
And you can argue equal rights etc but men have had the opportunity to take paternity leave equivalent to maternity and the take up is practically zero. It is still women who are primary carers for young children and I don’t believe the answer is nursery care. It is that being a carer of babies / young children should be valued more

On a side note my parents oddly enough lived together for 16 years or so, then my mom decided that she didn't want to have my sister out of wedlock and got married. They've been separated for 20+ years but haven't divorced yet as financially doesn't make any sense to either of them.

And to those who ask, it legal frameworks that accept cohabitation as akin to marriage usually the former is seen as a "defacto" whereas the second one is seen as a "willfull act" although both are choices.

They do recognise common law marriage (a defacto is that we have children) So that would have to be Australia, I am am guessing. And even that is not a Federal law, it differs from state to state!

Increasing rights for people in long term relationships (which is effectively the nub of the issue here) has been on the political agenda for several years, but very little progress has been made towards debate and legislation (along with a backlog of other serious U.K. issues that need to be moved forwards.).

All because of .. yes you guessed it ... Brexit.

Can I please beg the PP who is separated but not divorced and now living with someone else to PLEASE PLEASE make a will. It’s lovely that your husband is a lovely guy who’d never actually enforce his rights over your property in the event of your death, but that will cut no ice with the bank in he event of his death when they freeze your accounts and he happens to be on holiday. It may also not sway his family if he’s dead or incapacitated by the time your executors get around to distribution of the assets. Deliberately putting yourself in a situation where all your worldly goods would go to the wrong person but assuming it’ll be fine is just mad.