To ask what time your 16 yo/year 12s, go to bed?

[Pumpkintopf]

DS 16 has always needed a lot of sleep. This year his bedtime has been extended. He now sometimes naps before dinner in the evening. I feel this means his bedtime should be earlier. How many hours sleep/what bedtime do your teens have?

By that age I feel they really need to be self regulating. Yes, it might mean they are tired but better to learn the hard way now than just before their A levels - or will you still be dictating bedtimes to an 18 year old?

15yo year 11 never goes before midnight - usually insistent on 12:30 or later. Doesn't turn any bloody lights off after him, of course.

Year 11 15yo 10.30-11pm, Year 13 17yo 11pm ish or whenever we are going up.

Occasionally the 15yo will have a nap, the 17yo never does.

You have a set bedtime for a 16yr old?! I definately didnt at that age. A time to be home yes, but not a bedtime. If i was awake stupidly late im sure something would have got said but other than that parents let me to it. Sometimes i would read til the small hours.
And i napped after school / college and still nap now sometimes after work.
As long as he has no health issues causing him to be exhausted id just leave him to it.

At 16 i was working full time and wasnt being controlled.

At 16, he really needs to make his own mind up, and deal with consequences if need be

A bedtime for a 16 yo? Is that right?

My 15 year old usually gets told she should be asleep by 10 30-11 on school nights. We don't really do set bedtimes, but she has to get up really early so we have her bring her phone into our room to charge so she won't get distracted chatting to friends all night. It is going really well so far, she looks a lot healthier than last year when she had her phone in her room.

All those saying he's really old enough to make his own choices I hear you. That's what DH is saying too. Seems I'm being overly controlling and need to let go. I am struggling with the whole fact of him growing up at present.

There is nothing unhealthy about napping.

But yes, time to get used to the idea of him self-regulating. He will be an adult in 2 years time, it is quite good if it doesn't hit them all of a sudden but works up gradually.

Your 16-year-old has a set bedtime?!

assuming he's still at school, I'd say 10.30 or 11pm and set your router so he can't log on past that time.

My 15yr old was so much better tempered after I instigated this.

At 14, DS abandoned bed times and went to bed when he felt like it!

A 16 year old should not have a set bedtime. Very controlling

Mine didn't have a formal bedtime by that age. But there was an expectation that, when it was school next day, they would be in their bedrooms by 10pm

Our 16 year old hasn’t had a set bedtime since he was in Year 9. We trust him to go to bed at a reasonable time on a school night as he gets up at 5:30am on a school day. He does have trouble dropping off to sleep but tends to be in bed by 10/10:30.

The first few weeks of school have been tough on him and he was sound asleep at 9pm last night!

Around 10 during week but they have to be up by 6.30. They don’t have a specific bedtime though and tend to self-regulate, but I will suggest winding down by 10 when I go to bed.

In the holidays it’s rarely before midnight then they’re up late morning.

Midnight usually.

I didn’t have a set bedtime that age - obviously if he’s still up at 2 in the morning on his PlayStation that’s taking the piss and I would say something, but otherwise I think he’s old enough to send himself to sleep.

She didn't have a bedtime.

My 15 yo is lights out 9.30 on a school night (unless he's had something on). Upstairs (ie tech down) at 8.30 -9.00, I'll usually read him a chapter of whatever book we are sharing, and he'll read to himself.

If he's up later I have to haul him out of bed in the morning and he's cross because his morning is rushed.

Dd has no bedtime. If she stays up all night and feels crap the next day that’s her problem! At 16 they need to learn for themselves.

Thanks for all your replies, seems I am being unreasonable I will take this on board!

I have a 17 year old DD still at home - she will sometimes start nodding off on the sofa around 10.30/11, so I send her off to bed, but apart from that she generally goes when she wants. Though I will remind her to get some kip if there is something important the next day.

Yep, I can be controlling. Called being a parent. She can make her own bedtime choices, but is less sleepy and grumpy when guided to do so.

No set bedtime - but I do suggest that they should be winding down around 10 pm as they have to be up at 6 am!

I think if your DS is in full-time education and you are funding him, you still have responsibility as a parent to set boundaries. Don't be so sure all kids can self-regulate.

I wouldn't dictate a bed-time per se but if I thought they were staying up to all hours every night, I would keep mentioning it and point out the research linking adequate sleep and better grades (better health, better everything!) If he has a phone or computer or games console in his room, and is on it beyond a reasonable time, I'd get those temptations out of his room if his grades begin to drop. If he's able to sort himself out then that's fine. I'd give him a chance to adjust and see how he is doing by half term.