MIL ruined DD bday surprise

[jaggynettle]

DD has spent the afternoon with MIL. It's DDs 8th birthday at the weekend and MIL took DD out to choose a toy for her birthday- all good so far, sounds lovely.

DD pointed out a LOL doll, but MIL said "oh Mum and Dad have bought that for you"

AIBU to think that MIL could have swerved the topic and kept the surprise? Part of me thinks she was probably put on the spot and possibly couldn't think of what to say, but I feel a bit deflated as now DD knows ahead of her bday what her present is.

First world problems eh?

Who the fuck would do that to an eight year old

I’ve no idea. I don’t know the women. Does she have previous for being a big mouth?

I’d be quite angry if this was a big surprise present but if it was a present she hadn’t wanted much I wouldn’t be that bothered

I'd be pissed off. Dd1 turned 8 this summer and I'd have been hugely pissed off if anyone had ruined her surprise present.

It’s not ideal and I’d be pissed off, but unless MIL has form for being deliberately hurtful I’d write it off as a mistake and get on with it - could you buy an accessory to go with as a surprise?

Never take a child to pick a toy for a present before their actual birthday or the chances are they will request what they want most which is also what the parents have probably got. It was always a recipe for disaster.

Did your Mam know it was a surprise ?

• sorry I meant your MIL

@NoSauce no, not really. I'm just absolutely flabbergasted that she has let the cat out of the bag. The doll is one of the big ones, DD has been going on about it for ages and even though I personally think it's a heap of junk she has her heart set on it.

YANBU, although I think if you take a child out to choose something, the risk that she'd immediately ask for the thing she most wants and which you've therefore already bought for her was quite high, so maybe you and MIL should have thought that through first. I suppose MIL just sort of panicked and blurted it out because she didn't want to upset DD by saying 'Oh, I know we said you could pick whatever you want but actually we meant anything but that one thing that you really really want' and couldn't think of a suitable fib, but I can see why you'd be annoyed.

Has she said it without thinking maybe? I did similar last Xmas 😳 I made reference to a present before the recipient had opened it. I was mortified but it was a genuine mistake

Yanbu

@Wtfdoipick yeah I suppose I'd have done the same at 8 now I think about it!

It's hardly the end of the world though really is it? She's asked her it so she's likely to think she was getting it anyways. Just shake it off

When I see it written down I feel like maybe I am BU, MIL is lovely and am sure she wouldn't have done it on purpose.

Will just have a little 😤 about the surprise element being dulled. Am sure DD will be delighted with the doll

Did your daughter want your MIL to buy the LOL doll?

If she’s lovely then I doubt very much it was done deliberately. I would probably been a bit miffed too but if I got on well with her I would park it up.

Oh goodness- that's the sort of unthinking foot in mouth muppetness thing I would do

I expect your DD is delighted that she'll be getting the doll she wanted. I think the surprised is more ruined for you than for her. MIL should probably have kept quiet.

Surprises are not always good. At least your daughter knows she is getting what she wants. I expect she'll have other things that surprise her.

This is the sort of thing my mum would do, the fact the information is a secret just goes completely out of her mind and she blabs like an innocent child. Then is horrified when I point it out. Not important secrets but exactly this sort of thing, surprises and presents. Can't blame her for it because it's so obviously a mistake, I just don't tell her anymore!

What a prick. Of course the surprise is ruined for her. I’d be fuming. It’s not hard to distract an 8 year old. There’s loads of excuses she could have come up with. I guess she just panicked but it’s not hard to blag an 8 year old. Literally anything but ‘your mums already bought you it’.

If she is lovely, your MIL is probably feeling absolutely awful about it, but your DD must be really looking forward to opening her presents now. It's more a big deal for you than her.

Let's be honest, we've all done things like that at one point or another!

Yanbu to be pissed off but if your MiL is otherwise nice I'd put it down to a genuine mistake. If I'm put on the spot when im not expecting it, I find it really difficult not to just blurt out the truth. If it wasnt malicious I'd try and move on

I'd be annoyed. But I think that's a normal response to someone ruining a surprise for you.

I think my reaction to MIL would be a reflection of her behaviour. If she genuinely is sorry and realises she's been a dick I'd forgive.

If she being defensive and refusing to acknowledge what she's done I'd be even more annoyed.