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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell colleague his coffee is bad for him?

108 replies

BeautyThief · 12/09/2019 20:17

It sounds bad I know, but we have a coffee machine in the office that we rent. I read the ingredients in the powdered milk that makes the coffees and the main one is hydrogenated vegetable oil. It’s supposed to be really bad for us and has been banned in some countries. He has about 4 cups of it every day, I know because I’m right next to the machine. He has heart problems and is on medication for these and is in his early sixties.

I don’t particularly get on with him and are not that friendly but I can’t help but worry when I see him drinking all that coffee! It’s ridiculous isn’t it? But that oil can’t be doing him much good...should I mention it?!

OP posts:
Whitejasmine · 12/09/2019 22:12

Thanks for the info cdtaylornats - Well I can’t see hydrogenated vegetable oil so I guess I can carry on drinking my lovely coffee mate - il just ignore all that other mono/oxide/fatty stuff (buries head in sand)

Original poster
BeautyThief · 12/09/2019 22:14

@cdtaylornats it’s not Coffee mate, it’s a coffee machine that we rent and pay a monthly fee, similar to this for example:

www.liquidline.co.uk/machines/commercial-coffee-machines/

(I used to be able to do clickable links on here but can’t remember how now?!!)

Anyway they send us the coffee beans, hot chocolate powder and the milk and mocha powders. In the milk that we have to top the machine up with it has hydrogenated oil listed as the first or second ingredient. Hope that makes sense.

OP posts:
BrightYellowDaffodil · 12/09/2019 22:19

I know you mean well but I'd suggest dealing with your own OCD issues before you go finding other people's problems to bother yourself with.

SwedishEdith · 12/09/2019 22:20

I'm more alarmed that Coffee Mate makes it "the nicest coffee he’s ever had". Poor bloke.

SeekingAdvice111 · 12/09/2019 22:31

Keep your nose out

nettie434 · 12/09/2019 22:36

Well Beautythief, I know it would be hard to find a nice way of mentioning this to your colleague but I am incredibly grateful to you. Thanks cdtaylornats too for the ingredients list.

I love coffee. While there is some research suggesting caffeine has benefits as well as risks, I had never thought about what happens if you don’t drink coffee black.

I’ve just been away for work and almost all hotels have these machines these days. I’ve never thought about it before but, of course, they don’t use fresh milk. I don’t know exactly how much yukkiness is in each cup of machine coffee and when I am at home or in the office I have proper milk but I don’t want to drink coffee with powdered milk even ooccasionally.

Mind you, I am sitting here reading this with a glass of Wine so I probably should think more about all the negatives about alcohol Blush

I don’t think it is quite the same as pointing out the risks of fizzy drinks (or alcohol). There’s been a lot more publicity about this and I think people do make their own choices. We (or me at least) are less aware of the problems with hydrogenated fats.

JudgeRindersMinder · 12/09/2019 22:44

I do see that you’re coming from a well meaning position, however if I was that man, and you said something to me, I’d increase my intake by 100% and make sure you saw me drinking it. But I can be a bit childish

strawberrieshortcake · 12/09/2019 22:53

OP I really agree with many of the posters here and do belive you should mind your business. As you have mentioned you have issues around food yourself and probably wouldn’t take kindly to someone pointing out the possible unhealthy things in your diet.

@TowerRavenSeven What’s unhealthy about the ‘non dairy liquid stuff’ ? All research I know about seems to indicate that non dairy milk is much healthier than diary.

ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow · 12/09/2019 22:54

I had to change my diet when I had developed high blood pressure. I therefore take full responsibility for what goes into my mouth (and how much of it). That keeps me busy enough: I leave others to manage what and how much goes into their own mouths, and I suggest you do the same, unless you want him to think you are batshit.

It would be fine to raise it as part of a general discussion about what's in our food - but only once.

Thecabbageassasin · 12/09/2019 22:57

I can see you mean we'll op, but I imagine the guy must have a fair idea that drinking 5 lattes a day isn't the best for you, so I would leave him to it. If you must say something perhaps try relating it to yourself 'oh I've stopped drinking it, because of all the oils etc'.

LilQueenie · 12/09/2019 23:00

I would leave it. If you have heart issue 4 cups of coffee of any sort will be bad for you. He will know this himself.

AlexaAmbidextra · 12/09/2019 23:03

Somebody threw my Sweetex in the bin at work once as they are apparently carcinogenic. I fished them out and told her to mind her own business and to never touch my stuff again. What a bloody cheek. 🙄

GabsAlot · 12/09/2019 23:05

Dont go to your manager about the coffee machine you'll sound ridiculous

Its not different from telling somedone they shouldnt smoke which you said you would never do

Original poster
BeautyThief · 12/09/2019 23:05

@nettie434 yeah they are everywhere I think. Your post has made me happy this evening! It’s nice to know it might have helped someone in some small way, even if most people think I’m nuts!

It’s like anything, loads of us drink too much coffee, eat too much sugar, drink alcohol etc but we do it knowing what we’re doing I guess. And maybe we don’t do those things several times a day.

I feel like everything I’m saying sounds patronising but I don’t mean it to, but yes that’s it about the publicity, we don’t see much about these oils and it’s useful info.

OP posts:
WaterOffaDucksCrack · 12/09/2019 23:06

I think maybe it’s just because I hear him talking about his health a lot and how he worries about his heart and he has grandchildren etc and wants to be healthy for them. If he was that bothered he would read the ingredients. Many people make noise about how important their health is but do nothing to actually make themselves healthier.

I enjoy an occasional can of pop as a pick me up at work. I have a healthy diet and mainly drink water but I don't believe in denying yourself of every treat as that would be miserable. Someone I worked with last year (thankfully they left) would comment every single time. Eventually I said I was surprised she was so offended by it as she must have drank over 5 cups of coffee every day at work alone! She just came across as a massive tit. Don't be that person.

Original poster
BeautyThief · 12/09/2019 23:08

Well @AlexaAmbidextra that’s just not ok at all!!! Shock And anyone who does that is completely crossing the line, you just don’t do that.

I do agree with the majority on here that I’d sound like an annoying idiot if I spoke to him directly about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeautyThief · 12/09/2019 23:12

@WaterOffaDucksCrack yep that’s annoying too, no one wants to be analysed about what they’re eating and drinking I totally get that. If he only had them occasionally I probably wouldn’t even think anything.

Maybe he has read the ingredients then and isnt bothered because this is thing, he really does care about his health. Since he found out about his heart issues he lost weight - wasn’t really overweight to begin with - he bought a FitBit, gave up alcohol and changed his diet, started walking a lot. I know this because I hear about it often. So I know healthy living matters to him.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 12/09/2019 23:13

Or if you spoke indirectly. Hmm

Original poster
BeautyThief · 12/09/2019 23:14

Yes that too...! Blush Ok point taken, mouth is staying shut!

OP posts:
zxcvhjkl · 12/09/2019 23:17

His body his choice.

Also you are not the coffee police.

It's kind you're concerned but it really isn't your place to tell him what he should and shouldn't be drinking.

Nat6999 · 12/09/2019 23:20

It's nothing to do with you, if you don't like the milk substitute in your own coffee, bring your own milk & take it black from the machine, he is happy with it, let him drink what he wants, he is an adult & able to make his own decisions, would you tell someone who had sugar in their coffee off?

IncrediblySadToo · 13/09/2019 00:00

I think you sound nice and caring, not like a busybody.

If I thought I was doing everything I could to combat a health issue and was inadvertently eating/drinking something that I didn’t didn’t realise had harmful ingredients in it, I’d be grateful for the heads up!

I’d WANT you to let me know. It’s totally different to telling someone that smoking is bad for them etc.

runoutofnamechanges · 13/09/2019 00:03

Coffee Mate
Glucose Syrup, Palm Oil, Milk Proteins, Stabilisers (Sodium Hexametaphosphate, Sodium Citrate), Acidity Regulator (Dipotassium Phosphate), Emulsifiers (Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids, Mono- and Diacetyl Tartaric Acid Ester of Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids), Anti-Caking Agent (Silicon Dioxide), Colour: Riboflavin

Those are the bad guys that you are worried about there.

runoutofnamechanges · 13/09/2019 00:04

Oops... bold fail.

These are the bad guys: Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids

TheBananaStand2 · 13/09/2019 00:09

What about addressing it indirectly as a group email/ discussion with your department/ workplace about the concern you have that the coffee machine uses hydrogenated oil and express your health concerns about the milk and suggest getting an alternative milk-stuff? And then you don’t have to make it about him at all. Presumably it’s bad for all of you who like to drink milky coffee, so just pretend you’re doing it for your own health.