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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off at restaurant manager?

76 replies

Poptasmagorical · 12/09/2019 18:48

I took my parents and kids out for dinner tonight and when we were ordering, the manager tried to tell my 8yo that he couldn’t have chips on their own. At the time i thought he was joking so just explained to him that my DS is autistic and was about to get very upset. The manager said ‘you could have warned me’ like I should put a label on my DS or something! I went from thinking he was joking to thinking he was a bit rude, but no harm. Some people don’t know how to respond. Whatever.

However, when he brought the meals over he leaned down to me and asked if I’d seen the restaurant’s Facebook page. ‘It’s not a criticism, just an observation,’ he said as he walked back to fetch something. I looked up the Facebook page and the post he was referring to was the one that’s been doing the rounds about fussy eaters going blind. I was livid.

When he came back I told him I was really offended, and particularly when I’d already explained to him that chips are the only thing on their menu that my DS eats. He got a bit shirty and told me I couldn’t take offence because he didn’t intend any. Eventually he just snapped ‘I apologise’ and walked away.

AIBU to think it was disgusting of him to do that? Even if he hadn’t known my DS is autistic, it’s none of his business what my family eat (and it definitely won’t be his business now as I won’t be going back!).

My Mum thinks I was BU because he was just trying to point out that good nutrition is important. (I’m also a bit pissed off that when I went to the loo and the manager went across and spoke to her about not wanting to offend me she told him not to worry about it, but that’s another AIBU.)

It’s a village restaurant that’s technically a pub, if you know the kind I mean, so we had paid when we ordered. I think I would have just walked out if we hadn’t.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 12/09/2019 19:08

Well, hasn't he done well? Alienated paying customers.

Hope you're going to leave a review of your own.

What a twat.

Disfordarkchocolate · 12/09/2019 19:09

I'd complain. He was rude and offensive.

Templetonstunafish · 12/09/2019 19:10

That is really out of order. Telling him he couldn't have chips on his own is easily friendly server banter. The second comment is weird and the third is absolutely horrific. I work in hospitality and I would fire someone for that comment. It's incredibly out of line, especially considering he already knows your son is autistic. I would ask to speak to the owner/landlord &/ be making a large stink on Facebook & TripAdvisor.

Ilovelblue · 12/09/2019 19:10

I'd review on the FB page as others have said plus do another review on Tripadvisor.

GracefulHare · 12/09/2019 19:11

YANBU. How rude of him. Bad enough that he said you couldn't have chips on their own but then the whole Facebook thing. I would've been really upset. You'd explained the situation (not
that you needed to, it's none of his business) & he still acted like a knob. I'd've been cross with my mum for telling him not to worry about it as well. Sounds like a horrible evening, hope you're all ok now.

Poptasmagorical · 12/09/2019 19:11

The more I think about it the more my blood boils. I think I will post something, if only so that other ASC kids and their parents aren’t put in the same situation.

I’m not sure if it’s part of a chain but I’m going to do a bit of googling and find out.

Thanks for letting me vent!

OP posts:
Templetonstunafish · 12/09/2019 19:11

I'm raging on your behalf what a horrible thing to say!

TheRealShatParp · 12/09/2019 19:13

You are definitely not being unreasonable!!
He was being a right tit, I’d be really pissed off. I’d also be very annoyed if the person I was with said that it was okay on your behalf when he apologised.

Witchinaditch · 12/09/2019 19:14

Post a review on Feb about this. Rude and unprofessional.

Witchinaditch · 12/09/2019 19:14

In Facebook*

Blahblahblahnanana · 12/09/2019 19:16

I’d do a FB and trip advisor review, and contact head office if they have one. He was a dick! A very big one at that! 😡

EerieSilence · 12/09/2019 19:19

@Poptasmagorical, honestly, if my relatives had this kind of experience, I'd make sure that was the last time I ate there. He has no business judging the paying customers and if your Mum wants to be a pushover and believes a restaurant manager can judge their customers , it's her business but I certainly would not hesitate to give my review.

justasking111 · 12/09/2019 19:19

We take grandson out for the day. Have tried childrens meals, etc. sometimes after a long morning all he will eat is cheesy garlic bread and some icecream. Then he sleeps all the way back home.

The manager is being an ass.

SauvignonBlanche · 12/09/2019 19:19

What a twat! Angry If it’s part of a chain I’d definitely complain.

FattyPeddledFuriously999 · 12/09/2019 19:28

Oh I would be posting on their facebook page!

CluelessNewMama · 12/09/2019 19:28

What a patronising idiot. I bet he does it to loads of mums and thinks he’s doing a great job of educating them.

DarlingNikita · 12/09/2019 19:30

He’s a tit. I’d leave true reviews and find out who to complain to.

HotChocolateLover · 12/09/2019 19:31

Maybe he’s got autism? Sounds like an odd thing for someone to say. YANBU.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 12/09/2019 19:34

I’d actually also be really cross with my DM in this situation - she had an opportunity to back you up but dismissed your feelings and his behaviour instead.

JellyfishAndShells · 12/09/2019 19:40

Very rude and foolish of him.

I can understand a restaurant not wanting adults to just order a plate of an accompaniment/side dish and thereby taking up space that a more conventional, higher priced order could use but a) this was a child and even quite expensive restaurants are usually very flexible about children’s orders because they want to keep the peace and b) this was a pub/restaurant , not a Michelin star outfit.

Very unprofessional. His job is hospitality - not just fuelling you up, but making you welcome and comfortable in the establishment, not making you feel awkward.

Villageidiots · 12/09/2019 19:41

Just let it go and move on. Is it really such an issue?

GabsAlot · 12/09/2019 19:45

Absolute wanker and im sorry your mum really shouldnt have said no t to worry on your behalf if she wants to go there fine-id be emailing the owner/headoffice and writing a review

EerieSilence · 12/09/2019 19:46

@Villageidiots - why should she let it go? Patronising morons only survive because there's enough people who "just let it go". She was there with an autistic child, she even explain to him the issues and he was still being a total stupid muppet.
This is what's wrong with this world. Decent people are told to be nice and just let things go and as a result morons are getting more powerful, because good people are conditioned to be always nice and quiet.

Idontwangtogetuo · 12/09/2019 19:46

My nearly 21 year old son is ASD. Texture of food has always been an issue for him, so he does have a limited food list. For a big birthday recently we went to quite an upmarket restaurant and for starter he had a plate of chips ( french fries). Nobody batted an eyelid!

The manger was totally out of line. You were out to dinner with your family, if your son wanted chips (ASD or not!) it was up to you and the manager should have said nothing. I would absolutely follow up with a complaint.

saffy1234 · 12/09/2019 19:46

Yes he's an absolutely huge dickhead!You are not BU !