Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a bit cheeky?

28 replies

WhatShouldIDo15 · 12/09/2019 16:28

How would you feel if someone you worked with said they were retiring, they have a leaving party and you and others buy them a gift. Then they return to work part time a few months later. Would you be a bit miffed that you bought them a gift when they are returning to work a few months later? Aibu to think it's a bit cheeky?

OP posts:
Weebitawks · 12/09/2019 16:32

I don't think I'd give it a second thought.

Finfintytint · 12/09/2019 16:33

Happens all the time in my old place of work. Not cheeky.

Leeds2 · 12/09/2019 16:33

They probably didn't know that they would be returning part time when they left.

PuppyMonkey · 12/09/2019 16:35

This happened numerous times where I used to work too.

Rachelover60 · 12/09/2019 16:55

I wouldn't think twice about it.

MyNameIsIrrelevant · 12/09/2019 16:56

Meh

Chitarra · 12/09/2019 16:57

I'd assume this wasn't planned and they were bored at home.

MsMustDoBetter · 12/09/2019 16:58

Do you think that person is obliged to stay retired because you bought a gift?

wishfull888 · 12/09/2019 16:58

This happened in my work. Person then retired from the part time role & we went through it all again ! Annoying.

nonmerci · 12/09/2019 16:58

Happens a lot. My Grandma retired from teaching only to return the following academic year, she missed it too much. She taught at the same school for thirty years then went back for five years after her year’s ‘retirement’. She is supposed to be retired now but still helps out in the school as and when they need it Grin.

I wouldn’t think anything of this.

ScreamingValenta · 12/09/2019 17:01

It wouldn't bother me - but I wouldn't contribute to a further gift if they 'retired' again.

bridgetreilly · 12/09/2019 17:04

This is completely normal. Usually when they leave again, they might get a card, but not another gift.

BumbleBeee69 · 12/09/2019 17:04

Yes it's cheeky as fuck.. they're not really retiring, they're going part time, after a respectable break. playing the system, to get their Pension leaving gift etc, then come back and will likely expect it all again, next time. Flowers

ButterflyOne1 · 12/09/2019 17:07

I wouldn't think anything of it!!!

Whattodo20192 · 12/09/2019 17:08

It happened where i worked when someone left the company but then returned. She was embarrassed herself and bought us for lunch one day. We didn't expect it and planned to pay for ourselves, but she paid.

onanothertrain · 12/09/2019 17:22

Happens all the time in the NHS. So long as they don't expect another gift when they retire properly I don't care.

Original poster
WhatShouldIDo15 · 12/09/2019 19:06

Thanks for the replies. Will they expect another gift when they retire again? Would it be rude to get nothing, not even a card when they retire again?

OP posts:
AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 12/09/2019 19:09

Will they expect another gift when they retire again?

I imagine it will depend how long they're there. After five years I think they'd probably "deserve" a present again. If they leave again in three months, absolutely not.

Would it be rude to get nothing, not even a card when they retire again?

Again, depends on the time. Even if they leave fairly soon I think the company should pay for a card, but not individuals.

neverornow · 12/09/2019 20:36

No I wouldn't be miffed. It's not like they asked you all to buy the gift? And going from full time to part time warrants a party in some workplaces.

wishfull888 · 12/09/2019 20:42

Yes OP! The woman in question I referred to came back for 2 years working less than 12 hours a week. There was Meal, cake , gift , the works when she left second time because this time, she was 'finally' leaving. We got back in touch with her a few months later to say our director was going (after 40+ years & someone she'd worked with for over 20!) & not so much as even a reply, let alone a note in card or a contribution. Disgraceful.

dollydaydream114 · 12/09/2019 21:05

This isn't something I could ever bring myself to give even a tiny shit about, sorry. People don't always know they're going to come back, after all. If they do realise they're bored and get offered a consultancy role or a few hours a week, what are they supposed to do? Not take it because they got given a present? Or ask every person who contributed how much they gave so they can return one to five pounds to each colleague?

TimeIhadaNameChange · 12/09/2019 21:38

That happened to me and I was really embarrassed.

It was when I was at university. End of the summer term I went home, and got a job at the local school as midday assistant until their summer holidays. Last day came and the other staff gave me a wee leaving gift.

The school asked me back after the summer holidays so I did a few more weeks until I had to leave to go back to university. This time the staff put a wee hamper together for me. It was very, very kind but I was embarrassed. I knew they were not on great wages and it was incredibly generous of them to do that. But it did seem a bit much.

zxcvhjkl · 12/09/2019 21:38

Cheeky? No. They didn't ask for the gift. They were retiring and didn't know they would be returning to work in a few months time.

If someone got married, received a gift but subsequently divorced. Would that be cheeky because they got gifts at the wedding? How about if some time later they remarried. Would you decline to buy a gift because you had bought one before? Probably not.

You give a gift based on the current circumstances and situation.

Cheeky doesn't come into it unless someone lies about the circumstances or situation to gain a gift. That doesn't seem to be what happened here. Sorry OP YABU.

ButterPie1 · 13/09/2019 20:53

I would feel like there were much more important things to be bothering about Hmm

OooErMissus · 13/09/2019 20:58

I really don't think it was some cunning plan / master ruse to get a gift out of you all. Grin

As for if / when they retire again, you can cross that bridge when you come to it, in terms of another gift.

One thing to possibly consider, if you continue to feel so strongly about this Grin is not contributing to the second gift. That'll show 'em.

P.S.Grin