To think some have a poverty Mentality

[Pippin2028]

I am from a working class background, my family have often struggled with money or always had issues regarding it and the cost of things. Now I am an adult and I do not live extravagantly but I do like quality things, I work hard so if I can afford it, that is up to me. But I really feel as there has not been much money around for them for most of their lives, they do have a poor mentality. And a few of them are big hoarders and do not want to throw things away because they paid good money for it 15/20 years ago? But things do get old and need replacing! I am just interested in peoples opinions on this.....

I’m not exactly sure what you want opinions on? It stands to reason that people who have (or had) little money will probably be more careful with money than those who have always had plenty, in general.

The people I know that hoard and do not throw things are very wealthy, in part because of the way they are.

You might want to think about your condescending attitude.

But I really feel as there has not been much money around for them for most of their lives, they do have a poor mentality

Have they money now?

it takes generations for the fear of being uprouted through no fault of your own to fade.

I rent my home. I'm fucked if the landlord dies, wants a home for thier kids, sells etc.

Unless you are established somewhere for generations, or have money, the fear is real. And often turns into a 'fuck it, I don't belong' mentality.

People get sentimental, and have no place at the same time.

Money buys belonging. It buys a place, and a history.

It is more of an older generation mentality, I find. If it ain’t broke, you don’t fix. Why is it so problematic to you? Whilst there comes a point running ‘old’ becomes ‘expensive cos constantly needing fixing costs more than new’, our modern, throwaway society is a massive co tribute game factor in the climate change crisis. My mum had this view. She left me nearly £500k when she died. She never had more than an average income when alive. Do you really need new right now?

I was extremely poor when the children were young. Now they're all grown up, I'm marginally better off, but find myself almost physically unable to spend money on myself. I'd rather buy a cheap pair of shoes in a charity shop or supermarket than spend proper money on new shoes that I absolutely KNOW will last longer and be more comfortable.

Not spending money becomes an entrenched habit that is almost impossible to break.

I think “hoarding” is a different matter altogether though OP. It’s not to do with how much you have or don’t have, or spending habits. It’s a manifestation some kind of deep-rooted psychological trauma that could be totally unrelated to belongings / money.

I have seen the opposite a lot more often: don't have much, don't give a hoot about anything, goes into debt and overspend, because "not just the rich are allowed to do that".

The wealthiest people I know are not extravagant. The newly rich ones tend to like spending and show off - but that's unfair on all the ones who don't!

But things do get old and need replacing
Why? If something still works then it doesn't replacing. Why buy new stuff just for the sake of it?

because people like to have the latest fashion in everything.. down to their kettle who has to be the right colour.

We are an unbelievably wasteful culture!

I don't understand what you mean by poverty mentality.

My nanny used to have loads of food in fridge and cupboards were always packed plus food put aside

It most definitely was down to because she could growing up that wasn’t the case

We were also encouraged to eat a lot I have seen this ion a lot of families that are from working class backgrounds getting such satisfaction from food and the encouragement of it and now obesity levels are higher that they are in mc backgrounds

If something works it doesn’t need replaced. Fine if you want to replace it (but wasteful) but nobody should feel they have to replace a functioning item just because they can afford to. Maybe they’re saving every penny for retirement because state pension will be fuck all.

I think there are plenty attitudes to money and spending that are defined by your experience with money as a child and your upbringing.

To give a random example, a friend of mine was nonplussed that I bought a (not particularly expensive) suit for a job interview. My approach to it was that it was an investment and a confidence boost: if I didn't get the job I still had a decent suit for use at other interviews.

Her attitude was that as the odds are against you getting the job it would be foolish to spend money on something which probably won't help you -- you may as well buy a cheaper suit or use an existing suit.

Both fairly rational approaches, sensible enough, but neither a clear cut no brainer. Both cases defined by our parents attitude to money.

Why you’re describing (ever so patronisingly) is not a “poor mentality” I think it might be a generation thing. My grandparents who were born in the 1920s (into poverty/destitution) weren’t hoarders but never wasted a thing, even when they were much better off (not wealthy), because they’d come of age during WW2 and rationing and a general shortage of pretty much everything. I actually think younger generations including my own could learn a lot from people like them.

Also, while I respect that you work hard so can afford good quality stuff, you do realise people in very low paid jobs also work hard right, even though they can’t necessarily afford what you can?

I know exactly what you mean. I still have that 'poor' mentality. Especially with regards to myself.

We grew up 'poor but happy'. Very nice childhood. Never the best of anything, but all fine. We used to call our mum the £2.99 Queen because nearly every item of clothes she owned cost that.

My husband and I earn very well for the north west where we live. We only have 1 dc, small mortgage, lovely home, 2 cars etc., etc., (Not meaning to sound like a big head btw)

But I still find myself justifying spending money on new clothes.

I wear cheap shoes, only buy clothes when I HAVE to - e.g for a special event.

Always in the sale.

I will spend any amount on our DC, and my husband doesn't find it hard spending money, but I feel like I just can't justify spending a lot of money in myself. I feel guilty.

I definitely have poverty mentality. It’s linked to my health condition that means I know I will never be able to have a fabulous career with plenty of money. Even though I am with a wonderful man who earns well etc etc I will never lose my bad mental health when it comes to money.

I think I know what you mean. I know a few people who have heaps of money but wont enjoy life at all.

I know a few people who have heaps of money but wont enjoy life at all

Do you know if they never have much growing up? If not, that's not a 'poor mentality'. What you describe is just being a tight-arse.

I have one sadly as we hardly had any money for luxeries when I was growing up. I only had one pair of trainers and was expected to wear them until they wore out. None of my clothes ever cost more than £15. Now I have money to spend on myself but can’t shake the mentality. I see nice things but can’t bring myself to part with the money.

My husband was making way more money than i ever made or what i saw in my parents home.

i was always very careful with money. My parents expected me to live a lavish lifestyle and told me so .

I just could not do it. They were very disappointed in me.

but they always were

My parents are like this and I hate the way they judge me constantly for spending any money on my children ‘unnecessarily’. The annoying thing is they both worked full time so did actually have money, but they both chainsmoked and went through 2-4 bottles of wine every single night so it all went on that. Us kids had the cheapest of everything, never had a toy or piece of clothing unless it was our birthday/Xmas. I was the only child in school to not have a uniform and I was never allowed on school trips (schools were allowed to deny pupils who hadn’t paid back then). The annoying thing now is that they expect me to raise my children in extreme poverty like they did for absolutely no reason. They came down for a week at Xmas time and we took my ds to the zoo for the first time. He adored the elephants so I spent £16 on a stuffed elephant in the gift shop. They nearly had a hernia. I didn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the week, they were actually phoning relatives in front of me to tell them how much money I waste on my children. It was a fucking stuffed elephant??!! 😡😡

Oops that should say luxuries

It is difficult to change financial status up or downwards.

I think hoarding is something emotional rather more than financial.

I will spend any amount on our DC, and my husband doesn't find it hard spending money, but I feel like I just can't justify spending a lot of money in myself. I feel guilty.

You sound just like me, I recently paid £70 for a pair of Ecco sandals in the sale and nearly needed oxygen, they're the most expensive footwear I've ever had, nothing to do with money, just attitude I suppose.

But I really feel as there has not been much money around for them for most of their lives, they do have a poor mentality

Maybe because they're poor?? Lots of folk just don't have any money to replace things they've had for 15-20 years and are barely just scraping by. Do you know how many children are living in abject poverty in the UK in 2019?! If people could afford to replace stuff then surely they would? Perhaps some don't feel the need for conspicuous consumption, or even could be an ethical/environmental thing?