To think some have a poverty Mentality

[Pippin2028]

I am from a working class background, my family have often struggled with money or always had issues regarding it and the cost of things. Now I am an adult and I do not live extravagantly but I do like quality things, I work hard so if I can afford it, that is up to me. But I really feel as there has not been much money around for them for most of their lives, they do have a poor mentality. And a few of them are big hoarders and do not want to throw things away because they paid good money for it 15/20 years ago? But things do get old and need replacing! I am just interested in peoples opinions on this.....

We were way, way below the poverty line growing up. It was a treat if we had jam let alone anything new. I don't waste money as an adult, but I never feel guilty about spending money. I just shop around for the best bargains.

I think that there is such a thing as a poor mentality, and other financial mentalities too.

For example you get people on MN threads claiming that they couldn't possibly spend less on x or y, because it's inconceivable to them that spending less could meet the bill. Especially prevalent on holiday threads. Rich people mentalities make it harder to adjust to reduced circumstances, I guess.

I think I have a frugal mentality. I was raised by saver parents, and their finance teaching was all based on saving not spending. It was hard and annoying growing up without lots of things because my parents "couldn't afford" them, like school trips or cheap trendy things. Except they own two houses outright now. Even a measly 5k spent between my sister and me would have vastly improved our teen years.

But I AM relatively happy about where I am now. I have a high salary that I save a lot of, overpay my mortgage. On the flip side, I am happy to be able to buy things that give me joy in a way that is considered scandalously frivolous by my parents.

I have a bit of poor mentality and a bit of new-money mentality.

I still get a knot of fear in my stomach before checking my bank balance, even though it's been a decade since I was in dire straits. I see people spending hundreds on things I don't value, like designer clothes or flash cars, and think furiously about what I could have got for that amount of cash.

But I was lucky enough to get out of poverty and began earning very well a few years ago. The idea of having enough money that I can splurge on frivolous crap if I want to was so heady that I spent a few years buying new instead of making do with old (old that was still perfectly functional) and indulging in some luxuries like massage and takeaways.

I think I'm nicely in the middle now. I'm good at saving because I don't ever want the stress of worrying how I'm going to survive the next month. I do treat myself, but I don't spend money just because I can. I think about whether I really do need/want things and if they are worth the money.

^ Should've said spending thousands on flash cars. I don't consider a £500 car extravagant... any more.

My mum grew up very poor in a communist country, so it drives her a bit mad when my dad says 'It's only money' or replaces things that could be repaired!

I think I get what you mean. I think being poor really sticks with you psychologically. I know what it’s like not to be able to make ends meet and even though DH and I both earn pretty good salaries I live in constant fear of returning to that. So I make sure that we live below our means just in case (smaller mortgage than we could get, nothing on finance that ties us into future monthly payments, etc). It really is a mentality that sticks with you.

Old things are the best. I would be horrified with myself if my kettle and toaster matched.
I'm from working class but my mother got rich when I was a teenager. I have seen what people do with new money and it isn't pretty.

And a few of them are big hoarders and do not want to throw things away because they paid good money for it 15/20 years ago?

This is the inlaws. They are comfortably well off but both came from a working class background. FIL has wardrobes jam packed with suits and clothes he will never wear, are wildly out of fashion and don't fit him. But he won't get rid of them or take them to charity because they were expensive to buy. It's not hoarding as their house is clean and tidy and the stuff isn't ruling their lives, but they just have so much STUFF.

I think this
I see people spending hundreds on things I don't value, like designer clothes or flash cars

Hits the nail on the head - it's what you value and don't value that dictates what you spend your money on. I don't value the latest fashions/clothes, as long as I'm comfortable and my clothes are clean, I'm the same about all aspects of appearance - don't get my hair cut, buy make up or accessories. Things have become a little less tight recently and in reality I could have afforded some new clothes and a haircut - instead I've put more money on the gas and electric, and doubled up on some foods and groceries that won't spoil. I guess it's because I've gone without those things, and new clothes, haircuts and make up, or rather lack of didn't really have the impact that lack of fuel and food did, so I value having a store of those things more than I do other things.