AIBU to be upset by this or let it go?

[TwinklyTwinkle]

I had a job interview in for a job I was basically doing but unfortunately didn't get it. I wasn't 100% sure I wanted it, however when it came to feedback as an internal candidate, I feel like I've been treated quite poorly.

To cut a long story short, instead of getting a phone call to let me know either way whether I was successful or not, I got an email saying I had been unsuccessful (despite being asked at the end of the interview what my preferred method of contact was and them making sure they had my contact number) I requested feedback from this, but was upset to be told I performed the worst out of all the candidates.

There was someone from HR on the panel so after 3 weeks or so, I decided to get in touch with her to see if she could offer me anything positive for development purposes going forward. Basically amongst other quite harsh things, she told me that it didn't start well because I was late to the interview. This was news to me because I was NOT late and arrived there in time! So much so, that they asked me to sit outside and wait for 5 minutes before calling me in. I tried to say this on the phone and she wasn't having any of it and simply said that there were 3 of them with watches and I was 7 minutes late (insinuating, don't argue with me). She said this had no bearing on the interview though. Despite this, she said she couldn't remember anything I said in the interview to provide me feedback...but could remember me being specifically 7 minutes late? I'm a bit annoyed as to a) why she said she would offer me feedback if she had nothing to offer and b) accusing me of being late when I definitely wasn't? I told her I wasn't because I was asked to sit outside until they were ready and I remember looking at my phone and thinking 'fair enough i'm a bit early'. She also said it was rude that I didn't even apologise when I came in. I told her that's because I wasn't late and also I'd been sat outside the room for 5 minutes prior? She also said that not everyone gets told via a phone call that they were unsuccessful, and I still got feedback when requested so what was my problem? Just made me feel a bit unreasonable for thinking that as a colleague, I would get a phone call with feedback as to why I wasn't given the job, especially as I was advised I would in the interview.

My direct line manager and colleagues are appalled for me in the way I've been treated and think I should make a formal complaint to her line manager. However, I'm unsure now whether to just leave it be and move on as I requested the feedback from her, or complain? I just don't want it to look like I'm bitter because I didn't get the job.

I now have to train the new people who have been given the job and I know it's not their fault, but I just feel a bit upset at the whole situation.

AIBU to be upset at what feels like my character being assassinated or should I just chalk it down to one of those things? I'm not a rude person and I would never be so disrespectful as to turn up late to an interview and not apologise, i'm mortified she says I am.

I would complain. Not about not getting the job but the way you were treated in the so called feedback. She shouldn't get away with it and as HR should know better!

I was had feedback that was so far removed from how the interview went I think they gave me someone else's feedback. I wish I had complained. Raise the issue, you have nothing to lose.

It wasn't entirely unreasonable for them to contact you by email - 'preferred' is just that, a preference only. However, the nature of the feedback she gave you was piss-poor. What does she mean, she couldn't 'remember' anything you said in the interview? The people interviewing you should have been making notes during the interview so they could refer back to them, and also scoring your answers so they can assess candidates fairly. If nobody in the interview took notes, how can they score you against the other candidates to see how you performed?!

The lateness thing is just plain weird, unless the clock on your phone is wrong somehow.

I have interviewed internal candidates for a role in my team recently and it was HR who trained my colleague and I how to conduct interviews, score answers and give feedback so I'm amazed someone in HR was as unprofessional as this when giving you feedback. One of the unsuccessful candidates asked me for feedback and I sat down with them over a coffee and we talked through pretty much every answer they gave and what sorts of things we'd been looking for!

I think that you would be justified in making a complaint to the HR person's manager, or at least just politely expressing your disappointment with the way things were handled - especially as your own line manager has suggested it.

Complain. If you weren’t late then I’d complain- that’s really bizarre. Could you check with one of the other interviewers about the times??

I would complain too. Your career is very important to you and you shouldn't just let this go. Accusing you of being late to an interview when you weren't and not giving you any proper feedback is pretty appalling.

The only thing I'd say with the 'lateness' thing is that perhaps they abide by 'early is on time, on time is late, late is unforgiveable' - you say yourself that you looked at your watch and found yourself a few minutes early.

I've never turned up to the general vicinity of an interview less than an hour before it starts, and never made my presence known less than 15m prior - so to them, 'a few minutes' might seem slightly casual.

(Not that I'd judge anyone as late unless they were actually, you know, late.)

I'm sorry you had that experience. Is it a public company, if so you should be able to request your interview notes via the data protection act, they normally redact the questions asked but leave the notes that panel made, this should show how you scored and what their thoughts where at the time.

Are you sure they've not mistaken you for someone else? Seems a bit weird that they said you were late when you were actually early. I'd definitely take it further.

Blimey, my blood pressure went up just reading that, no wonder you're upset.

Worst interviewee, but you're to train the ones who got the job?

I'd be giving my notice in - though now your confidence will have had a knock.

Wait so this was for a job you were already doing too?

Absolutely I’d complain. In my sector we’d take detailed notes so that would be available for feedback. I do wonder if she’s confused you with someone else f you’re that sure you weren’t late. I’d also try and speak with someone else from the panel - is it the type of work place where you could ask them for a coffee?

Don’t think I’d be super keen on training someone to do the job either but that advice isn't really helpful.

Thanks for the responses. I'm not necessarily annoyed as such that it was by email, if it was an interview by any other department or an external company, I wouldn't be as fussed. I think its more because I had what I thought was quite a good working relationship with the chair of the panel and thought that at the least as a candidate she would give me a call, but at the most as a colleague rather than a generic copy and pasted email. Her feedback to me didn't really go into detail, she just said it was generally quite a weak interview (Understood, because I was quite nervous) which is why I thought to seek alternative feedback from someone else on the panel to see if there was anything in particular I could improve on for next time.

I did contemplate asking another member of the panel if this was true about the timing, but the way she was adamant that all 3 'looked at their watches and I was definitely 7 minutes late makes me a bit afraid to ask them. Not sure why, because i'm 99.9% sure that I was early. I think no matter what it just seems like a battle I'll lose because there's more of them.

They took absolutely loads of notes during the interview, however despite this feedback call being planned, she said she couldn't answer on how I performed because she 'didn't have this data on record'

I might have a chat with my line manager on Monday and see if its worth pursuing or just chalk it up to 'not everyone's going to like you' and move on

It sounds abit like they knew who they wanted to give the job to and are fobbing you off with made up crap.

Can you do any digging and see if there are any connections anywhere?

@WindsorDuchess Thanks so much. I did actually ring someone unrelated in my building from HR asking whether he got notes from the interviews or the scoring of the candidates and he said unfortunately he doesn't get any of that information, just who was successful and who wasn't

I’m pretty sure that you should actually be able to request a copy of the interview notes. They should have kept them and as it’s data they hold on you, you should be able to request it.

You absolutely must complain, and that's coming from an HR professional.

Also they should have made interview notes, so how can she 'not remember' in order to give you feedback. How would they defend a discrimination claim if they got one? 'Sorry, can't remember'? How did they compare candidates against each other, they must have had a mechanism for that?

It's bullshit and you must take it further.

As for getting 'in the vicinity of an interview' never less than an hour early, well each to their own. You weren't late, if you entered the interview room late then that is down to them calling you in at that time. And now for the proper feedback please Ms HR Person.

Have you had any dealings with this woman before?

She sounds very unpleasant and I would definitely complain.

@Juells Lol annoying isn't it. I'm not the kind of person to make the people who got its lives hell, but it is a bit of a kick in the teeth. My confidence has taken a huge knock, but thankfully I have a really supportive manager who has told me that her and several other people disagree with the feedback and not to take it to heart. It's so strange cos I didn't even particularly want the job, but I think it would have been nice to have been wanted/at least got some moderately positive feedback if they're harvesting my knowledge for the other successful candidates!

@AncoraAmarena i'm actually not caucasian but I really try to avoid thinking down those lines unless its required as it opens a whole new ball park. On this occassion I don't think (I hope) it was discrimination.

I had dealings with her in the past but only on one occassion. She seemed quite friendly then which is why I decided to ask her for feedback and why I was so surprised at how aggressive she was towards me! My husband just thinks that they don't want their judgement questioned and so she probably needed to just nip it in the bud

@ElizaDee It wouldn't surprise me if there's a connection! I'll have to try and suss when i'm training!

It sounds as if you should definitely complain. How do you feel about training the person up for the job?

The accusing you of being late when you weren't, and contacting you by email when you'd requested a phone call sounds like they'd got you muddled up with someone else.

And being the weakest at the interview, but being good enough to train the people that have got the job sounds bonkers to me!

Definitely take it up the chain at HR and do an SAR request for your interview notes. Check your Employer's Privacy Statement for details of how to request.

As you say, the job's gone now so there's not much you can do about that, but if your HR file now has incorrect information about you on it, that could affect any future applications you might make.

I agree.. I'm in the 'Complain' camp.

It's a few years since I interviewed anyone but we had to keep interview notes and scoring for a few weeks. I think until someone was formally offered the job after references. After that, we had to dispose of as there was no reason to keep this personal information. Definitely worth asking to see notes and scores.

"I now have to train the new people who have been given the job and I know it's not their fault, but I just feel a bit upset at the whole situation."
If you're not good enough to get the job, why are you good enough to train the person who did? That makes no sense, and it's something I would definitely be raising. As well as complaining.

Thanks guys, it's not so much about notes and scoring, just the way I was spoken to yesterday on the phone from the HR person. She was just aggressive, accusatory and unempathetic. I'm more just worried that as I work there, if I make this complaint it's going to blacklist me for the rest of the time that I'm there or start a war that I'll end up losing