AIBU to be upset by this or let it go?

[TwinklyTwinkle]

I had a job interview in for a job I was basically doing but unfortunately didn't get it. I wasn't 100% sure I wanted it, however when it came to feedback as an internal candidate, I feel like I've been treated quite poorly.

To cut a long story short, instead of getting a phone call to let me know either way whether I was successful or not, I got an email saying I had been unsuccessful (despite being asked at the end of the interview what my preferred method of contact was and them making sure they had my contact number) I requested feedback from this, but was upset to be told I performed the worst out of all the candidates.

There was someone from HR on the panel so after 3 weeks or so, I decided to get in touch with her to see if she could offer me anything positive for development purposes going forward. Basically amongst other quite harsh things, she told me that it didn't start well because I was late to the interview. This was news to me because I was NOT late and arrived there in time! So much so, that they asked me to sit outside and wait for 5 minutes before calling me in. I tried to say this on the phone and she wasn't having any of it and simply said that there were 3 of them with watches and I was 7 minutes late (insinuating, don't argue with me). She said this had no bearing on the interview though. Despite this, she said she couldn't remember anything I said in the interview to provide me feedback...but could remember me being specifically 7 minutes late? I'm a bit annoyed as to a) why she said she would offer me feedback if she had nothing to offer and b) accusing me of being late when I definitely wasn't? I told her I wasn't because I was asked to sit outside until they were ready and I remember looking at my phone and thinking 'fair enough i'm a bit early'. She also said it was rude that I didn't even apologise when I came in. I told her that's because I wasn't late and also I'd been sat outside the room for 5 minutes prior? She also said that not everyone gets told via a phone call that they were unsuccessful, and I still got feedback when requested so what was my problem? Just made me feel a bit unreasonable for thinking that as a colleague, I would get a phone call with feedback as to why I wasn't given the job, especially as I was advised I would in the interview.

My direct line manager and colleagues are appalled for me in the way I've been treated and think I should make a formal complaint to her line manager. However, I'm unsure now whether to just leave it be and move on as I requested the feedback from her, or complain? I just don't want it to look like I'm bitter because I didn't get the job.

I now have to train the new people who have been given the job and I know it's not their fault, but I just feel a bit upset at the whole situation.

AIBU to be upset at what feels like my character being assassinated or should I just chalk it down to one of those things? I'm not a rude person and I would never be so disrespectful as to turn up late to an interview and not apologise, i'm mortified she says I am.

Ask her for written feedback as stated in the interview as CCTV proves you arrived on time. I think she already appointed the other person prior to the interview and are just going through the motions.

Use the written feedback as proof because I guarantee she will not lie on her written feedback.

I'd be so angry at being accused of being late if I wasn't. I'd definitely raise it as that is the thing she focussed on.

In my experience (former HR worker) someone asking for feedback is often not looking for feedback to improve future interviews, but trying to catch the panel out as to why they were not appointed. You approached her for feedback because you were unhappy with the feedback you had already received (but yes, the HR rep should have had access to her notes to refer to) a few weeks after the event - was this after you had been asked to train the person who had been appointed?

Some people do not interview well - they may be brilliant at their job, but if they don't show that at interview then their chances of being appointed are reduced. Most people are nervous at interview IME and I'd make allowances for that. tbh, I'm far better on the panel side of the table than being interviewed myself for a job!

I don't think the company are unreasonable to notify you of the result by email or to ask you to train up the newbies (I know that smarts though!) and I think you've gone the right way about asking for interview feedback as I've had unsuccessful candidates claim that they are better than the ones appointed, despite not knowing them or their experience/job history!

Cross-post there, but I don't think you'll be blacklisted so don't worry about that.

I would 100% complain in your shoes.

If you're not good enough to get the job, why are you good enough to train the person who did

Good god, please don’t take this tack! Will just mark you out as too immature for any senior position. Of course there will be ways of working, processes and procedures that may be new to the appointee that it would be entirely appropriate for the OP to train them up in.

Personally I almost certainly wouldn't complain. Given it is HR who has access to your personnel file there simply is no upside to doing this. How well do you know the appointing manager. Can you arrange to have a quiet chat with him/her and you can raise the lateness point and keep on good terms with them.

Thanks everyone for your responses, I really appreciate them! Weirdly I think out of everything, what has annoyed me the most is being accused of being late and rude which is categorically untrue!!!! I've decided I'm going to make a confidential complaint about her manner and lack of preparation for the call as a HR professional to her line manager. I'll run it by my manager and see if she'll allow me to copy her in as backup if it did get out.

@Sedlescombe she doesn't have direct access to my HR file so I wouldn't have to worry about this. I'm reluctant to discuss the lateness point any further because I was dismissed so harshly by the HR woman that I'm not 100% sure that she wouldn't have gotten in touch with the chair to make sure their stories matched (she did say to me that she could apologise to her on my behalf for being late and I said no, because it was irrelevant now and also I had nothing to apologise for because I wasn't late!) It's so strange because when I arrived at the interview, she is the one that told me to sit outside for 5 minutes and then called me in later so I just really don't understand how she could say I was 7 minutes late! It would make no sense to the schedule of the day to make an already late interviewee wait outside longer and waste more time! Also why would I come in after being told to wait outside for 5 minutes and apologise for being late?! I'm furious about it, I know she's lying but I don't know why!

There's no such thing as a confidential complaint. She will be told about it.

The problem you have is that you left it three weeks before asking for feedback. There's no obligation on the employer to keep interview notes, so it's quite possible that she doesn't have any detail to refer to.

You felt she was rude on the call. She'll obviously deny that. We believe you, but we're not your employer.

Rather than complaining (or at least, before complaining) I'd be trying to get more information about the lateness issue and whether your interview notes still exist or not. On the first, you can ask the other interviewers, and the second, submit a subject access request.

Complain. You weren’t late and you don’t want them thinking that when you apply for something else. Did you say you were just about offered the job during the imterview? I’d be raging at the shitty feedback.