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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

drug smoking neighbours...

34 replies

needsomehelppls32019 · 11/09/2019 22:00

I was lucky enough to be a offered a lovely new build house by a housing association and we moved here in March. I'm one of 8 here who pay an affordable rent, the rest are shared ownership. Everyone here seems really nice except the ones next door. I'm trying to be tolerant but they are pissing me off.

They have 5 kids there, youngest must only be around 3 but they all play out on the road despite them having a garden. One of the oldest boys thinks it's funny to do wheelies in front/ behind the car when I drive down. At weekend, loads of other parents and kids visit - they all play out in the sodding road, some are tiny and in the hot weather they all seemed to be wearing just their knickers/ pants. Not great as there's quite a blind corner to turn out of and they seem to have no road sense. Music too loud, shouty aggressive partner of the woman (who isn't supposed to live there). All annoying, but I do try not to judge and leave them to it, and turn my own music up if they start arguing. Not delighted that my kids have to listen to that sort of shit really but hey ho - I grin and bare it as I don't want to cause any trouble.

But what's really pissing me off now is them smoking weed the other side of the fence. Tbh, I don't care what people do if it doesn't affect me and my kids. But it is affecting me as it stinks and I am sick of it. They started off smoking it in their shed (suspect they make be dealing it too as I've seen up to around 10 teenagers in there at a time). They now sit just the other side of the fence smoking it and I'm sick to death of having to shut the windows etc as It stinks. My DC's keep asking what the smell is as well. I'm also pretty sure one or some of them are smoking crack in the evenings too, all I hear if I sit out there is a lighter clicking all the time and someone exhaling really loud not long after.

Anyway - I probably sound judgemental but I honestly don't care what people get up to if it doesn't affect us. But I'm really unhappy with the smell and my kids being exposed to that sort of shit. I'm also worried that they are currently on their best behaviour as they're on a years trial tenancy......! I don't want to make a complaint to the housing association, I'm well aware that they're not the sort of people you'd want to get on the wrong side of. But OTOH, I also don't think it'd go down too well if I tried to have a polite word with them. Any advice?

OP posts:
WeMustGetOffTheMountain · 11/09/2019 22:08

It's probably a bong or pipe for weed if they're weed smokers Hmm

Ask them not to smoke it right next to the fence as the smell is going into your house. You sound VERY judgemental. "They're not the sort of people you'd want to get on the wrong side of" what? Because they smoke cannabis and have 5 kids...?

Original poster
needsomehelppls32019 · 11/09/2019 22:18

If it was a bong or a pipe for weed then I'd smell it ffs.... at those times, I don't. You're calling me judgemental but there you go judging me as someone who knows nothing.

I don't give a shit that they have 5 kids. I have 6 Smile. I was just never stupid enough to let them play out on a busy road as toddlers with barely any clothes on. If that makes me some sort of snob then crack on... I've also taken drugs in the past, but never WITH or near my kids, nor have I ever been selfish enough to subject my neighbours to it.

As I said, I judge people when how they live adversely affects me. Why shouldn't I?

OP posts:
Original poster
needsomehelppls32019 · 11/09/2019 22:21

oh, and 'they're not the wrong people I want to get on the wrong side of' because the man and older kids are aggressive wankers. And unfortunately, I have no choice but to live next door to them. You're post is ironic - you are judging me on very little info.

OP posts:
AHobbyaweek · 11/09/2019 22:26

Our neighbours smoke were right under our window too and it really annoys me. Also horrible when we can hear the two month old crying from the living room while the mother is outside smoking weed and yelling at her boyfriend down the phone. Angry

Ilikewinter · 11/09/2019 22:29

Not sure I have any good advice for you but I wouldnt be happy in your situation either. Are you able to make an anonymous complaint to the HA?

Original poster
needsomehelppls32019 · 11/09/2019 22:32

It's horrible isn't it. You can't help but feel sorry for the kids. Trouble is, the smell is so strong these days and gets everywhere. I just don't see why their choices should adversely affect me, it's so selfish.

OP posts:
TriciaH87 · 11/09/2019 22:32

Put in an annonomous tip to the police and possibly ssif the kids are at risk out front. Don't mention the arguing mind as that would have to be heard by a close neighbour through the wall

Original poster
needsomehelppls32019 · 11/09/2019 22:35

Trouble is, it's a semi detached house with a road next to them so if I report it, it'll be obvious it's come from me. I would like to have a polite word with them, but I'm pretty sure I'll be told to fuck off! They must already know how strong the smell is here, as a couple of weeks ago one of my DC's was in the garden yelling 'Ugh Mum - it's stinks out here - what's that funny smell' etc etc Blush

OP posts:
toadabode · 11/09/2019 22:37

I really feel for you. Ignore @WeMustGetOffTheMountain 's sanctimonious post. I would make anonymous complaints to both social services (re the children) and the police (re the drug taking). The more services that become involved with them the better as they're then not going to be off radar.
This link might be of use:
www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse-to-local-council

toadabode · 11/09/2019 22:38

If they accuse you of reporting, just act dumb

TulipsTulipsTulips · 11/09/2019 22:41

OP you do not sound like a judgmental person. Your neighbours sound anti-social and obnoxious. I would nip this in the bud, complain to the HA and hope they move on.

Notcontent · 11/09/2019 22:44

I think you should raise it with the HA. It’s a horrible smell. If people want to smoke weed it’s their choice, but they should not be allowed to expose others to it.

Btw, I think it’s ok to judge sometimes!

Youngdumbandfullofrum · 11/09/2019 22:56

Tell them you're giving them a heads up that some nosey bag on your road keeps asking if you can smell anything next door as they're planning on reporting them. Maybe just play with their inevitable paranoia and it'll keep things on the low down for a while at least Grin

lvsel · 11/09/2019 23:04

When you move to social housing you always get this inconsiderate type every gave good advice about reporting maybe then the mother will di something

turnaroundwhenpossibleagain · 11/09/2019 23:12

@Youngdumbandfullofrum genius suggestion I'd go with that plan of attack. Or even an anonymous note has been put through your door, saying they suspect you or your neighbour did they get one too?

Dongdingdong · 12/09/2019 06:19

Definitely report them to the HA before their trial period is up OP! Otherwise you could be stuck with them for a lot longer...

sunshinesandwaves · 12/09/2019 06:37

Hi OP

Report to the police and your HA. Depending on where you live the police may not be in a huge rush to tackle the issue if it's cannabis but I'd do that as a first step. If there are children you should make a call to the social services team at the local authority. The HA can do this but social services teams always prefer a direct referral from the person reporting the issue rather than a third person complaint.

Be prepared that in order for the HA to take tenancy action (or not renew once the starter tenancy comes to an end) they'll need a lot of information to evidence that it is a reasonable decision. Police logs, incident logs from you and any other neighbours, social services involvement if they do pick it up.

Depending on how robust the ASB/community safety team is at your local authority, they may assist if they determine that the smell of drugs comes under "noxious substances" and they can serve a CPN for this.

The HA should be carrying out starter tenancy visits so if you at least report it to them when the housing officer goes to the property they can be vigilant to the issues you've raised (although as the visits are planned it's not unheard of for people to hide evidence)

user1493413286 · 12/09/2019 06:46

Complain to your housing association and if they say anything to you pretend you don’t know anything about it

Pikapikachooo · 12/09/2019 07:30

How about
Hope you are well . The kids are starting to ask about the smell of weed coming in to the house . I am very live and let live but could You be kind enough to do it further from the fence and windows please?

They need to understand that people
Know and they should be more discrete

They sound like nightmare neighbours! Ours did this but got moved away Grin

Ithinkmycatisevil · 12/09/2019 07:44

The weed smoking would actually bother me less than children in the road and the constant arguments. That is far more likely to cause harm to the kids than their parents smoking a bit of weed (crack is a different matter if they’re smoking that too).

My neighbours smoke weed in their garden from time to time and I actually quite like the smell, better than fag smoke anyway.

If it bothers you then just ask them nicely not to smoke it right by your fence as your kids are asking what the smell is. If they carry on then report them to the housing association.

Barbel · 12/09/2019 07:51

10 teenagers in their shed????
Random teenagers or have your neighbours got teenagers themselves?

stucknoue · 12/09/2019 07:58

Report it to the housing association, council and police, they will act - my neighbours were warned then evicted for pot smoking

PrincessPain · 12/09/2019 08:04

My old property (council) I lived above someone who smoked weed all day, I couldn't open the window because I had a new born and it wafted in. The smell is very strong.
The police didn't care. The council sent a letter to everyone in the flats stating that the terms of living there was no drugs. Nothing changed, I complained again.
The housing manager went round their flat, then came straight to mine afterwards (so much for anonymous) and she simply said "they said it's not them". That was the full investigation.
Thankfully I moved soon after, but I find that the council were not that bothered as it really didn't personally affect them, and the police are too understaffed and underfunded for anti social behaviour.

commanderdalgleish · 12/09/2019 08:07

Op isn't being judgemental at all! Crikey, is it really ok now to be smoking and (potentially) dealing drugs when you have small children in the house? How permissive should we be prepared to go?

RonaldMcDonald · 12/09/2019 08:15

If you mention it to them and a complaint goes in they’ll know it was you
Ime complaints don’t work and often make things worse
Do not expect your complaints to be treated anonymously no matter what you are told