drug smoking neighbours...

[needsomehelppls32019]

I was lucky enough to be a offered a lovely new build house by a housing association and we moved here in March. I'm one of 8 here who pay an affordable rent, the rest are shared ownership. Everyone here seems really nice except the ones next door. I'm trying to be tolerant but they are pissing me off.

They have 5 kids there, youngest must only be around 3 but they all play out on the road despite them having a garden. One of the oldest boys thinks it's funny to do wheelies in front/ behind the car when I drive down. At weekend, loads of other parents and kids visit - they all play out in the sodding road, some are tiny and in the hot weather they all seemed to be wearing just their knickers/ pants. Not great as there's quite a blind corner to turn out of and they seem to have no road sense. Music too loud, shouty aggressive partner of the woman (who isn't supposed to live there). All annoying, but I do try not to judge and leave them to it, and turn my own music up if they start arguing. Not delighted that my kids have to listen to that sort of shit really but hey ho - I grin and bare it as I don't want to cause any trouble.

But what's really pissing me off now is them smoking weed the other side of the fence. Tbh, I don't care what people do if it doesn't affect me and my kids. But it is affecting me as it stinks and I am sick of it. They started off smoking it in their shed (suspect they make be dealing it too as I've seen up to around 10 teenagers in there at a time). They now sit just the other side of the fence smoking it and I'm sick to death of having to shut the windows etc as It stinks. My DC's keep asking what the smell is as well. I'm also pretty sure one or some of them are smoking crack in the evenings too, all I hear if I sit out there is a lighter clicking all the time and someone exhaling really loud not long after.

Anyway - I probably sound judgemental but I honestly don't care what people get up to if it doesn't affect us. But I'm really unhappy with the smell and my kids being exposed to that sort of shit. I'm also worried that they are currently on their best behaviour as they're on a years trial tenancy......! I don't want to make a complaint to the housing association, I'm well aware that they're not the sort of people you'd want to get on the wrong side of. But OTOH, I also don't think it'd go down too well if I tried to have a polite word with them. Any advice?

I live in a housing association house ,weed smokers are everywhere unfortunately ,I'm not sure the housing association will.act tbh where I live they would probably have to evict half the estate .

@needsomehelppls32019

Just report them to police anonymously and if they accuse you act surprised and tell you never spelt anything because your sense of smell is not working properly.

and tell them

This talk of Police and Social Services is weird as fuck. Firstly, they won't do anything to stop the smoking, they'll just pay them a visit at most. Secondly, what on Earth is wrong with knocking on their door and talking to them about it?

Just knock on and explain that the smell is bothering you. They smoke weed, they know full well that it smells but they do not know that it's bothering anyone.

Creating a neighbourly feud should always be a last resort as you are next to them regardless. If they are a bit rough around the edges then even more so it's good to keep relations positive.

Give them opportunity to modify their behaviour before escalating, they are being anti social but there is no suggestion at all that this is malicious. Reacting in a malicious way would be crazy imo.

I'd do nothing. Too much potential of this coming back to bite you and making the sihuation worse. Buy some incense sticks and light these in your garden if the smell annoys you. Even make a joke of it to them by giving them some and ask them to light them when they're outside smoking. I would tread carefully though .... we've all heard too many tales of it all kicking off between neighbours and before you know it you'll be the one moving because you rent.
Shit I know but try to zone out from them .... somehow

I'd have a quiet word with the Mum first.

Police are unlikely to do anything unless you report dealing, but you'd need evidence.

It's likely that cannabis products will be legal in the UK in the coming years and the police are already a bit soft on it in some areas.

Thank you for all the advice - much appreciated. To the poster who asked about the kids in the shed - it seems to be the eldest boy (maybe 16 or so) and all his mates. Although the parents have joined them a few times as well. Nice.

If you mention it to them and a complaint goes in they’ll know it was you
Ime complaints don’t work and often make things worse
Do not expect your complaints to be treated anonymously no matter what you are told

So what do I do then?

Secondly, what on Earth is wrong with knocking on their door and talking to them about it?

You don't get it. People like this KNOW they must be annoying people, they just don't give a shit. Why would they listen to me? I'd be told to fuck off and accused of interfering. By the man especially, he's an absolute twat - shouty, aggressive and abusive If I see him around I give a little smile to try and be friendly and he just glares at you.. He is a total prick, and even if I talk to just the Mum I strongly suspect it would get back to him. And another thing - how could I ever prove it? You can't record a smell after all, and I know full well no one is likely to be raided for cannabis and probably not even crack etc if it's for personal use.= (they can come round and arrest me for not sending my autistic son to a school he was being horribly bullied at but thats another thread....)

Reacting in a malicious way would be crazy imo..

But come on....reporting people for smoking crack when young children are there is malicious? I'm not silly - I hear her do it and tbh, the woman may as well have crackhead tatted on her forehead. Most people addicted to that sort of shit DO tend to have a certain look and you can generally spot them a mile off round here at least.

For the record, I don't think I actually would contact the police or SS. As a PP said, if they evicted all the drug takers round here they'd have a shit load of homeless people on their hands. I'm also pretty sure they are already on the radar with SS, one of the older boys used my phone once as his Mum had 'fucked off and locked him out', and he told me he'd been taken into care in the past when she kept doing that.

I feel sorry for the kids, but OTOH, it's pretty fucking depressing to watch people like that raising a generation destined to be exactly the same as them. Drug taking is one thing but doing it WITH your older kids and around the younger ones is a shit way to behave. Given the current state of affairs though I'm well aware that this sort of behaviour STILL isn't enough to get the kids taken into care. Those little ones have no chance really, and it is sad to watch.

I'm still unsure what to do tbh. Sitting outside at the minute listening to one of them kick his football against the fence behind me full force again and again. They have 4 sodding fences they could kick it against but its always this one. And this is BEFORE I've said or done anything to get their back up.....They knocked it over 3 times by 9am Saturday morn and rang the bell each to ask for it back. When no one answered straight away they started shouting 'excuse me' at our bedroom windows.. Me and DD both work shifts including nights so it's a real PITA. They've already knocked down 3 of the panels of a new fence.

Tempted atm to just disable the door bell and ignore,

get some incense and just whack my own music up when they play theirs or argue too loud. Then hope one day I don't have a bad day, lose my temper and shout over at them to shut up/ stop blowing smoke over. Also going to get some cameras to make sure the little fucker isn't climbing over here when I'm out like he did before .

It shouldn't be like this though. We pay an affordable rent but it's still a lot of money and I don't get any top ups to pay for it. Surely that should make me entitled to a decent home environment for me and my DC's? People should just behave and not think it's ok to be so fucking selfish and inconsiderate. The only good thing is the walls seem pretty thick for a new build. It's just such a shame how people like this can ruin things that should be nice, like being able to sit in your garden in peace and not be embarrassed to invite people round because of all their noise, swearing (I swear, but I'm talking the c word every other word and even from the youngest kids.)

And yeah, I suppose I am judging now but tbh, who wouldn't judge some of that behaviour around little kids?

Apologies for any typos etc, lost my bloody glasses and can't see well enough to find them !

@needsomehelppls32019 I apologise for misinterpreting your OP. After reading through your replies I can see I was being unfair. My apologies

Thank you WeMustGetOffTheMountain - I really do appreciate that .

TBF, I suppose I am being a bit judgemental but it's more about how inconsiderate they are and how their actions are affecting me than the way they choose to live if that makes sense. I do see where you are coming from regarding the 5 kids comment, I've been judged and looked down upon many times for having 6 DC's myself so am honestly not like that. I only added the amount of children there to add context. And whilst it's not nice to hear and see people using heavy drugs around young children I am not a pearl clutcher when it comes to the personal use of weed, I just hate the smell of it, and don't like MY Dc's being exposed to it in their own home. I don't like them having to listen to an abusive shouty man either. Ny ex was abusive (and a drug user) and I wanted to get my kids away from that sort of life, you know?

For now though, I think I'll just stick to a bit of passive aggression and drown their music and rows out with my own. Next step may be some wind chimes on the fence below their bedroom window - maybe they'll like the sound of them as much as I like the smell of their weed