To think I should have let him fail the interview?

[TheMessyCleaner]

I had an interview for a cleaning job this morning. There was one other candidate, a man in his forties; English wasn't his first language. He was late for the interview but as they weren't on time calling us in no one noticed.
We spoke for quite a while and I really hoped that he did alright as he needed the job. We were then left alone to do an English and maths exam. He looked really stressed and asked me what to do. I tried to help him by reading the questions, he still looked confused. Anyway I ended up helping him so much that he ended up passing me the pen and test. I refused to actually write the answers for him but I did tell him if he was wrong if he directly asked me.
When we were called in for the interview, the interviewer said 'messy, you first, sorry mr X I know you arrived first, but messys name is first on my list.' The other man didn't correct him, even though I was there ten minutes before him.
Now I just have a horrible feeling that I might have done myself out of a job. I was trying to be helpful but I basically gave the man a lot of insight into the job whilst we were waiting as I had researched where the job was and what we were doing and he hadn't. Then there was the test, and them thinking I was late.

You shouldn't have helped him. Lesson learned.

One in a medium secure unit on Sunday and Saturday mornings.

You won't have done him any favours if he gets the job over you because of your help, can't do it and then gets dismissed on capability grounds during probation...

I appreciate that you were trying to be nice, though. I think perhaps you were being a bit too nice, and you might have set him up for a fall, but it wasn't intentional.

I am afraid this could be classed at a Very British Problem. You are clearly too kind, but you can't go back on your decision. What you can do is ask for feedback and, if they say something about the tests or being late, point out what really happened.

TatianaLarina I can't find a graduate job that I can work around two small children. I can't find an admin job that pays over £9.

Understood, so start thinking about yourself more and less about other people. You need this job. Maybe more than he does. Maybe he doesn’t have kids.

Ahh bless you OP, you were just trying to be kind but maybe did yourself out of a job- who knows. I don’t see why anyone needs maths to clean but can understand the English aspect.

As someone that used to manage a medium secure ward, id also worry that you'd be a bit of a soft touch with the clients, and that could put the ward at risk.

Didnt used to interview for facilities staff, but id imagine they were assessed on some pratical math skills in terms of diluting cleaning fluids etc

If you really need this job, why did you prioritize him getting a job over yourself?

If I was the employer and I set a test, and found out one of the candidates had cheated and was helped by another, Id be furious.
Why is mums net full of weak pushover people that cant say no

Yeah, I know. Imagine finding out one of your interview candidates had sabotaged your interview
in order to help the other!

You are a lovely person, OP, and that will get you far in this world. Honestly. You may not get this job but you will go far. I'm not half as nice as you are and yet I am surrounded by kindness.

Nice girls finish last.

OP, you are kind and I hope you get your reward eventually but you will be taken advantage of by the more canny, lazy and/or unscrupulous. You might want to put up some boundaries.

Reminds me of a kind lady I knew who didn't buy certain properties when playing Monopoly because somebody else needed them to complete a set. She was usually first out the game.

Next time someone like him needs help OP, help yourself by putting all the wrong answers on their paper.
You get the job, they don't.

I’m sure the OP is kicking herself without being lambasted over and over by other people too.

You did a really kind thing OP, fingers crossed you get the job!

You felt sorry for him, you helped him. In my book that makes you a nice person, not a mug. Hopefully you get the job but hey, if you don't as you said you will probably find it easier to get something else than he would.

Some one is pushing your guilt button, OP. There is no sense in feeling responsible for matters you can’t control such as where you were born and how you were brought up.

You should, of course, feel concerned about the consequences of your own actions. In this case, you have allowed an employer to be fleeced by a cheating and incompetent applicant and yourself and, possibly, any other candidates out of a job.

Virtue signalling and the faux impulses which direct it cut across honesty, evidence, fact and reason. There is no such thing as ‘privilege’ which needs to be ‘checked’.

Should read ‘ and put yourself...’

But what about the employer?

Surely they have s right to the best employee, as they are paying?

To be honest it sounds like you are virtue signalling a bit to much with this post.

You seem to feel bad because you have had a good life - and you are assuming that he 1) hasn't had such a good life and 2) desperately needs the job. But you could be wrong on both counts - he might have a wonderful life and this could just be an extra job for him, for pocket money. He could already have a job which pays really well .

You were just too nice, OP.

You sound lovely messy. I hope karma smiles at you and you get the job

You sound really kind Messy. I hope you get the job, despite your best efforts to help the other candidate. You should have piped up if they thought you were late and not relied on him to say anything.

Somewhere along the way things have gone wrong. Any candidate over 40 is usually immaculate, well organised, on time. Under 40, it's a whole different story!
I'm still a leftie at heart but we've lost our way somewhere. Education really needs to be more than just Uni.

This makes no sense, you said he was raised in another country, so why have we let our young people down?

It's kind of condescending of you TBH, I'm under 40, and I know how to dress well and present myself in a professional manner, and we was taught about it at school. In year 11, all students had to go into school dresses as if for a job interview, boys were all in suits, girls in smart work wear. We then had a whole day focused on interview skills, and we also had time every week to learn as we prepared to go to 6th form.

You also contradict yourself quite a few times.
I really hoped that he did alright as he needed the job. and helping him with the tests, but then saying you are worried you've done yourself out of a job.
And turning it into a political rant, and blaming Blair seems a bit of a long shot.....

To be honest it sounds like you are virtue signalling a bit to much with this post.

YES! This.

I think its honourable to be nice, honestly, but as others might say "you cant set yourself on fire to keep others warm"

Equally it would make me question if a medium secure ward, an enviroment which carries a lot of risk if procedures are broken, is for you. If you struggle to assert yourself then i wonder if a forensic enviroment is for you? There will be lots of rules, some that make sense and some that dont, Patients with heart breaking stories, people trying their luck every where and id expect you to be following every policy and procedure to the letter. The whole rules etc often mirrors prison rules, could you follow that with no exceptions?

Being nice has its limits, and you mighy need to examine what your moral code is and what its doing for you. I left a job because i wanted to be kinder and it didnt fit within my job role.

You can be kind etc whilst being assertive and resilient.

If I were you, OP, I’d contact a debt charity like CAP and see if you can get all your debts in one place and restrict your outgoings until you’ve paid everything off.

Also make an appointment at the CAB to check you’re receiving everything you’re entitled to.