Petty Domestic One

[Templetonstunafish]

Me and DS got home from baby group about half 12, both hungry. DH is at home doing chores. I ask him to have the baby for 10 min while I make us all (him too) some lunch. He says no because he's busy folding washing, and straight after that he wants to hoover (visitors later). Baby is getting ready for a nap and hungry so won't settle in his playpen. I'm making something for lunch that needs the cooker and don't want to baby wear by the hob. He could easily baby wear and fold washing (as I have countless times) but is angry that I am trying to tell him how and when to do things. Who is being unreasonable?

You are both being unreasonable.

With the parent who isn't mostly at home you don't ask you hand the child over and tell them to look after their child.

Saying that it's bad planning on your part. If you know your 10 month old will be hungry around certain times you give them any food as they will happily eat cold food. You don't spend ages cooking as they don't appreciate it and the food normally has to cool down a lot before they can eat it.

Your husband is deffo in the wrong op !

Dh could had lunch ready tbf

I have noticed lots of people giving tips on what 30Templetonstunafish should have done, in terms of leaving the baby for a bit, being more organised/ planning ahead with lunch etc. When my DS was 10 months old and teething I think I was just getting through the day as I was so tired all the time. I don't think she needs parenting tips in this case. She has decided how she wants to do this and keeping her little one close to a parent is important to her. The issue was a bit of power play between DH and herself and it sounds very familiar. My DH was a bit like this with household tasks at first and talking has helped us through it. Much better now- my DS is 3 in January. Talk to each other. Good luck. It's normal to feel how you're feeling xx

I’m sorry you’re so upset OP.

But we can’t offer help to make you make your husband do more. If you could I’m sure you already would have done.

My advice while the baby is fractious is genuinely - don’t sweat the small stuff. Do something quicker for lunch like toast, and worry about the fish cakes later. Deal with DH later.

hope you feel better tomorrow.

I don't let mine scream either.
I think it would have been within his capability theoretically to have baby and washing. However in practice I find 90% of men short circuit if doing one thing and asked to do another at the same time.
Part of me gets your frustration and I think it's one shared by many women. However the other part of me knows mine would have never attempted the washing and happily plunkwd down the hoover to sit with baby and leave me all the housework... Only to rapidly hand baby back the second he squeaked... And sit down again.
So half count your blessings. Half why do we expect so little from our partners??
Especially when a baby is crying its not unreasonable to feel helpless and frustrated.

Priorities:

1. Baby & Their food
2. Food for parents
3. Hoover
4. Fold washing

My husband is the same, unable to prioritise. I also get the impression they would do literally anything to run away from the baby sometimes.