To be annoyed with husband following women in underwear in instragram

[springtimeishere]

Basically what he title says, he doesn't comment or like but seems to want to follow them.
I'm offended and feel embarrassed by him.
Also likes something called lamp lovers!
I have ocd and sadly this causes me to not trust my own judgement.

Thank you @Appleprimrose x

They aren't dirty at all. If Miranda Kerr was your next door neighbour would she be a celeb or a dirty attention seeker? It doesn't matter if the woman is a celeb, influencer or Susan next door. Stop calling them dirty attention seekers and concentrate on fixing the issues between yourself and DH. If he keeps doing the same thing then he knows nothing will change. Make that change, whatever it may be.

I do know what these accounts are. I'm not naive. Perhaps you are.

They're not dirty. Stop abusing these women because of your own issues. it won't make you better in the long term.

There’s nothing dirty about someone being in their underwear in pictures, theres also nothing wrong with having body confidence and showing it off.

I have a well known neighbour who sometimes puts pictures of himself topless on instagram, nothing dirty about it at all.

In my personal experience it’s all about the trust in your own relationship. As PP have said, if he was commenting etc then fair enough that’s crossing the line but to be just following them isn’t such a big deal. Myself and my DH comment openly about whether we think people are attractive etc and we are madly in love. However with an ex, I felt the same way as you do now, mainly because I had major trust issues and with good reason. I think you need to go with your instincts and focus on your man rather than the women he’s following

It wouldn't bother me. I trust my husband, he's respectful and honest, and I occasionally like to perv on attractive men online.

Your husband has given you reason not to trust him, so I don't blame you for feeling how you do.

I'm not sure why any adult would follow someone who they found attractive on Instagram/Facebook if they had a partner? I'd be embarrassed if it was me/my husband as we are both 40 year olds not 17! Surely if you want to have a quick lust at someone you can do a quick google search?

I think it depends on your relationship and your past. My partner and I both follow such accounts (I'm bi) and actually look at them together sometimes. He'll always say things like "I would" and I'll say "Well dump me and go and shag her then!" and he just replies "See ya!" It's funny. But then again he doesn't hide it.

I think if he's being secretive about it that's different, as it would make me wonder what else he was being secretive about.

I'll add to that, why they would even if they didn't have a partner. It's s bit cringe inducing!

I assume it's because he knows he fancies that woman and so can easily look at her pictures for a wank Buster.

@Shoxfordian well exactly! 😂 how embarrassing for all concerned! Why let the world and his wife know who you like wanking over? It's all a bit Inbetweeners for me.

Saucy Sally

Yeah its definitely immature

OP, I get it. You're allowed to feel put out by it.

When DH and I first started dating, he didn't have Instagram as he 'didn't understand it', I used it a lot so he eventually got it and followed a few actors and meme accounts. After a couple months, I noticed he was following some accounts the same as the ones you've mentioned. I pulled him up on it and explained that it made me feel really awkward, ruined my self esteem and I didn't like that my family (and his) could see that he was following those types of pages. It felt seedy and weird, and like I couldn't live up to the looks of those women.

He ended up creating a separate, secret account purely to follow those type of women. Safe to say I found out months down the line and a massive argument followed.

You're quite right that it's the personal element of them that feels wrong. To me, it was worse than porn. Porn stars can't be contacted, your average woman posting semi nudes from the comfort of her bedroom are just one simple message away. It definitely crosses a line in relationships.

You'll get a lot of women on here telling you to be chill about it, and that you shouldn't care, but you're entitled to be upset by it.

Thank you @stickystickystickstickk couldn't of explained it better

It would make me feel my other half was a bit sad lecherous and views women as mere commodities

Yeah I know a man who 'still gets in bed with' his wife and the end of the day. Turns out he's shagging any other idiot with a pulse behind her back though. Goals

I find it grim. A male friend of mine has just become a dad for the first time, he’ll post photos of his newborn with gushing #s about his wife and then like a load of photos of bikini models. It makes me cringe and I’ve lost some respect for him.

If he was a 15 year old boy then yeah, I might get it, but a grown adult. Just no.

Also...

He'll always say things like "I would" and I'll say "Well dump me and go and shag her then!" and he just replies "See ya!" It's funny. But then again he doesn't hide it.

What? How old are you both?

Hmmm I think the problem is that “proper famous people” are unobtainable whereas OP’s OH looking at slutty Susan who could live down the road makes it a bit more “real life”?

Nope, it's the nature of the posts.
You wouldn't get anybody well known posing the way these people do.
Anyway I'm not bothered by the women and hold no resentment, it my husband taste that bothers me.Porn would be okay, celebrities okay, tv okay. Following real people posing for sexual gratification in their own homes not okay. Maybe other people have different ideas of what I acceptable. I think it's just poor taste.

I know what you mean
They are accounts purely to sexually excite/entice
Nothing like having a crush on Taylor Swift ffs

Exactly that @fandabbyfannyflutters

What I mean is he can look all he wants, same as I do, but it's me he shows affection to and comes home to.

He "comes home to you" because he lives there, surely?