Bought my friend a cheap baby shower gift ...aibu ?

[sallyhoooo]

So it was my friends baby shower and I bought her some vests and bibs and a outfit (reduced for £15.99 to £5.99 in the sale )
She didn't know boy or girl so I wanted to wait till after the baby was born to buy nice outfits.
Anyway she said she didn't like what I bought and did I have the receipt so she could exchange.
I unfortunately didn't but she told me she took them back and the exchanged anyway
Now I feel so guilty that she knows I spent only £5.99
Aibu to feel crap here?
I've just spent another £30 on some more outfits now.

She won’t know how much you paid, without the receipt, the refund price will be for the amount the item is on sale for now.
She is very rude, stop buying her baby gifts.

Fucking rude 'friend '. Nobody has any manners these days.

That's awfully rude of her. You shouldn't feel bad at all. I was thrown a shower for DC1 and felt a bit cringe at the attention and gifting, thankfully my close friends know me and got me cheap and practical items. The best gifts I had were some oversized muslins from Sainsbury's and a box of bounty freebies my friends had collected for me. Still using all of those nearly 3yrs on!

Ohhh my god NOOOO this friend sounds awful.

I don’t really do expensive presents for baby showers (I’m only just preggers for the 1st time) - maybe a little toy or a pack of nappies, or a treat for mum... it’s more about getting together to celebrate what’s to come, right?

You can spoil the baby with your love and attention, and show your friend how much you care by being there for the big and little things. Don’t EVER feel you have to spend money on anything because “it’s the thing to do”. It’s unfortunately such a typical thing in today’s society to spend more than you want to/can afford just to look good to others.

YABU to have gone out and bought more baby clothes. Don't give them to her if you haven't already - return them and get your money back. The stupid cow could have at least pretended to have been given the same clothes that you initially bought, by another guest at the baby shower - but for her to say didn't like them was incredibly rude. I wouldn't bother giving a gift when baby arrives.

She sounds grabby & rude in the extreme! There's no way I'd be buying anything else. You've done nothing wrong & I hope she runs out of bibs & babygrows.

The item was worth £15.99. You were kind enough to buy it. You were fortunate in getting that product for £5.99; doesn't change the intrinsic value of it.

Don't feel guilty or ashamed. Raise an eyebrow if she ever dares to raise this with you and mentally make a note to yourself to buy nothing further for her.

Agree with ElizaDee.

That’s really rude OP. I recently had a baby shower & I told everyone They didn’t have to bring gifts, hosting a baby shower & people turning up was enough for me. I just think it’s rather rude. Cost is irrelevant a gift is a gift

I was 19 when I had ds, and I remember being bought loads of lovely outfits, as well things we had bought ourselves. He was about 6 months old, just before Christmas and I thought I’d have a good sort out, get rid of everything too small because I knew he would gets lot for Christmas. OMG the amount of things I gave away, probably 80% of the stuff had never been worn. Because I found baby-grows so much easier than fiddly clothes. It was only as he started crawling that I put him in jogging bottoms etc. I think she was being a little grabby! Maybe she will have one of those sicky and pooey days where she wishes she had extra 🙊

We smiled and said thank you even for some hideous/dangerous things (cot bumpers....) , DH did eventually have a chat with MIL and asked her to stop buying designer baby clothes. I would've been more tactful and said it's too much money they grow fast/get stained etc. DH told her that expensive doesn't mean nice and DS won't be wearing them so she needs to stop wasting money! I was mortified, but this was after months and months. Your friend is very rude.

TBH, I wouldn't buy clothes for an unborn child. I certainly wouldn't be buying any more to supplement what you already gave:

1. You have no idea what size the baby will be at birth. So unless you buy significantly bigger than newborn sized clothes, there's a reasonable chance the baby will never be the right size to wear it. As an example, my DC1 was in 'tiny newborn' clothes until over 2 months old, despite being between 75th-91st centile for weight. So only went in to 'newborn' clothes at 10 weeks old. By which time ...

1. Seasons change. If you do buy, e.g. an outfit to fit a baby 1-3 months, it may well be inappropriate for the weather by the time the baby is that size. I've had winter babies, and therefore a lot of winter clothes gifted (between birth, Christmas etc. we're overwhelmed), but it's not winter anymore by the time they're in bigger clothes.

1. In any case, many parents keep babies in baby-grows pretty much 24/7, so pretty little outfits are not necessarily going to be worn.

I was always very grateful for any presents given and didn't return anything, but even so there was so much that went unworn. I've come to the conclusion that clothes just aren't a great present at least until older.

What a rude cow saying she didn't like them and wanted to return them. She should be bloody ashamed of her grabby, rude behaviour.

@IsobelRae23 I think most first time parent’s are the same. The outfits look cute but then you actually have a real life baby and babygrows are just so much easier.

My DC didn’t fit in newborn size so I had to give lots of NB clothing away for that reason alone.

YANBU. She is rude and entitled. IMO the correct response is to thank someone, both for the gift AND the thought. Keep a list of who gave you what, and have your baby wear it the first time you see them, even if it’s not your taste.

I wouldn’t have bought more gifts for someone so ungrateful.

She's being rude OP,
I've had 2 DC and haven't had a baby shower for neither of them. I think it's a grabby way of saying 'buy me stuff' and for that reason it never appealed to me. I had a pamper night with DC2 though but purely a get together for a pamper before my sleepless nights started again!

When both DC were born people brought gifts round, (I've never asked for anything) and a few things weren't to my taste and I didn't really like them, but my family did. I kept them and put DC in them. I mean they're going to be covered in baby sick/poo anyway who cares if it's something you like/dislike!

She's lucky you had brought her anything so don't worry about the price (could have easily been something second hand brought for £1) she was being rude about it... Dont worry about it!

@Nonmerci I had the opposite problem in that ds came three weeks early and all newborn was huge on him. So lots of people went out and bought me some tiny baby clothes.
I def learn for ds2, and I had way less clothes, but I did have enough nappies, wipes, sudeocrem, baby bath, baby shampoo, Calpol and bibs- to see me through the first 12 months! The only thing I had for ds2 that I didn’t use were dummies. I didn’t use them on ds1 either but bought them just in case. But besides clothes there was so much with ds1, you’d feel you had to get it because it was in the baby magazine and how could you live without it? I think of the money wasted now. Although I bought baby gates for ds1, used them on ds2, and they are now on a 5th different family, as they keep getting passed along- that was good value for money! Lol

But you actually bought her £15 of stuff on sale?! I wouldn't spend more than that because I don't have it!

Your friend has no manners. IMO Baby Showers are a grim import but to then tell someone the gift you received isn’t up to scratch is just unbelievable.

I'm not a mum so maybe I'm missing something, but I don't understand why someone would return baby clothes even if they weren't to their taste. They're not like a Rolex watch or something that would be worn all the time, for a long time. Surely the baby will grow out of the clothes within months, and a lot of the time the clothes will be in the wash.

She was rude in telling you she didn't like them and you bought more stuff?
Return the new outfits and refrain from buying her anything else for her.

Without the receipt she would only have got an exchange at sale price anyway - she won't know whether you paid that or full price.

@ContessaLovesTheSunshine same gifts as they give children at their birth and christenings in Cyprus! Both my kids have loads of them stashed away!

In any case, what kind of babygrow is so offensive that it requires telling the person giving that the receiver didn't like it?

And wait... the outfit was 5.99, but you also bought her more stuff, presumably for at least another £5 or so, yes? So, £10 worth of stuff for a baby shower? I'd say that's quite enough.

what kind of babygrow is so offensive that it requires telling the person giving that the receiver didn't like it?

A google of 'offensive baby grows' throws up some shockers! I'm sure the OP didn't choose anything tasteless, though.