Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not take this housing association property ?

101 replies

Somma · 11/09/2019 09:35

Hello !

I’ve been mmmm and ahhhing. I just don’t know what to do.

After 5 years, myself and DS have been offered a housing association property. Transport links are perfect, it’s a redeveloped building. However, it is expensive but can be manageable.

However, the crime rate in the area is very high, just last week they were three stabbings in the area, there’s a lot of drug and violence crime. I’m extremely concerned about this- especially for DS who has needs and is very vulnerable.

Even though the place is very nice, not everything that glistens is gold and I do not want to be swayed by how the place looks vs not taking into the safety elements into account.

I’m going to have a look to see the area of the property to get a feel from it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to be offered a place but I just want to be sure I’m doing the right thing.

What do you all think ?

OP posts:
fireandbrimstoneetall · 12/09/2019 22:38

If this is the case, then I am wasting my time going to work every single day. And missing out on my dd growing up. And being stressed all the time because I have to pay for the mortgage/bills etc.

Original poster
Somma · 12/09/2019 22:43

fire What are you on ? I’m not getting £250 a week. That’s what I would get if I moved to UC.

Please read my thread from top to bottom.

OP posts:
hellinabreadbasket · 12/09/2019 22:46

I know you don’t want to be identifying but the area does make a difference. There have likely been stabbings in Clapham this weekend but it’s still desirable. Parts of say, Abbey wood - yeah not such much.

Original poster
Somma · 13/09/2019 08:48

Viewing the flat today. Will let you know what I’ve decided.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 13/09/2019 11:34

it would usually be easier to do a homeswap once youre actually IN a housing association property, than it is to get the perfect one straight away.
If youre in your final year of uni, then youve got a year where it will be expensive and then after that, youll be able to earn more to cover it easier, or maybe sub let out the bedroom to bring you more in

Original poster
Somma · 13/09/2019 12:47

Just came back from the viewing. Quite disappointed to be honest.

Can’t make any adaptions to the balcony after a year.

We both have box size bedrooms.

First floor flat is too high from the ground. More like a second floor flat. The windows are too low. Really worries about safety.

Lack of storage. Living room and kitchen area is very small (it’s combined). Wouldn’t be able to put a fridge- unless it can go in the living room. Would have to get a small sized washing machine as there’s no space for it in the storage or in the kitchen. Would be able to keep a stove in there.

I’ve asked to have a think and they have allowed me up until Tuesday to decide. But I really don’t know.

OP posts:
HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 13/09/2019 13:05

You do know -- you don't think it's safe enough, or even big enough, and it's really expensive.

Your sister has said she's ok for you to stay on with her so do that. Another flat will come along.

Original poster
Somma · 13/09/2019 13:14

Has I’m just torn because we’ve been waiting a long time and what if this is our only chance ? Great location and transport. I don’t want to seem too picky even though I feel my reasons are valid.

The housing agent wasn’t happy that I didn’t accept the property right away.

OP posts:
HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 13/09/2019 13:19

Why would this one be your only chance?

Original poster
Somma · 13/09/2019 13:21

Sorry- I meant it may take a while for me to be offered another flat.

OP posts:
NurseButtercup · 13/09/2019 13:50

1.Your sister is happy for you to stay

  1. You're about to start final year of your degree which is the most stressful year.
  2. The flat is very expensive and will save you with £21 per week to live on (gas/electric/water/phone/house insurance/ travel/food/ clothes/leisure time/ broadband)
  3. The rooms are very small
5.You have valid concerns about crime in the area.
  1. You have valid concerns about the safety of the balcony.

Don't worry about the housing officer being annoyed.
There are enough reasons to say no to this flat without feeling guilty. But discuss your reasons and proposed decision with your sister because it will impact upon her.

If you was my sister I'd encourage you to turndown that flat and wait for the next offer.

Good luck xx

NurseButtercup · 13/09/2019 13:51

Sorry about all the spelling mistakes Confused

Gazelda · 13/09/2019 14:10

I think that as long as you have concrete confirmation that you will retain your spot on the list, I'd decline thus flat.
There are too many negatives.
Hopefully your sis will be happy for you to stay for at least another year, then you will be able to get a job and your finances will be improved and your choices widen.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 13/09/2019 14:22

I don’t want to seem too picky even though I feel my reasons are valid.

Your reasons are 100% valid and they're selfless! You're not being picky or a "princess" - you're trying to protect your child.

The housing agent wasn’t happy that I didn’t accept the property right away.

That's not your fault. They wanted to get the flat signed up before the weekend, or they have deadlines and targets. IT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. YOU ARE ALLOWED TIME TO DECIDE.

But I don't think you want time, you want permission to follow your instincts and to say no. You have permission! It's not safe, your DS could fall off that balcony, or any other terrible scenario. If you don't want it, that's reason enough.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 13/09/2019 14:23

Make your DS's condition very very clear when you say no, and maybe even express surprise that you were offered a very high flat with a balcony when you'd already expressed clear needs for a ground-floor/secure property. Almost make this offer "not count".

LakieLady · 13/09/2019 14:24

So you would be benefit capped? So need to pay shortfall out of your standard and child elements of UC?

Benefit cap won't apply if OP's DS gets DLA.

Original poster
Somma · 13/09/2019 15:30

Thanks everyone for your advice.

I called them up and told them I didn’t want the property and have my concerns regarding my sons safety etc.

I feel sad as I would have loved to have had that flat and for DS to have his own room. I guess I just have to keep on bidding.

OP posts:
Filter · 13/09/2019 15:59

Sorry, I'm really ignorant to this but why can't you have a normal, private rented flat? I thought housing association flats were meant to be dirt cheap, the one you viewed sound like a horrendous rip off even for London! You made the right decision turning it down!

Original poster
Somma · 13/09/2019 18:04

Filter I’m considering it. But private landlords don’t usually accept people on housing benefits.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 14/09/2019 13:03

I personally think youre mad to give up the opportunity of a HA flat in London in order to live with a family member who could throw you and your kid out at any time. Your reasons for it not being ideal are valid, but I hope your sister is genuinely OK with having you stay there.
If I had a family member staying with me and I was helping her out this way, id probably be annoyed at them turning down the opportunity to get their own flat. Youve waited 5 years for this.

Branleuse · 14/09/2019 13:06

I also wonder if a lot of the people advising you to not take it, have no experience of either homelessness or how council/housing assocation waiting lists actually work. There is a chance they now dont have to offer you another. I hope youve ascertained whether this is the case or not?

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/social-housing/applying-for-social-housing/refusing-an-unsuitable-council-home/

StrongTea · 14/09/2019 13:14

Sounds a sensible decision, think you would be so worried and stressed living there. Hope something more suitable turns up for you.

TheQueef · 14/09/2019 13:21

Was it a studio flat?
Did you bid on a flat advertised with a balcony?
If the allocation was wrong they shouldn't grumble but if you bid on something unsuitable they could be arsey.
Also find out what sort of tenancy it is, I know that's boring in comparison to other things but the real benefit to SH is the security and you need to know.

Original poster
Somma · 14/09/2019 14:27

in order to live with a family member who could throw you and your kid out at any time

My sister is not like that. Plus, we both pay half of the rent and the other bills. I’m not just doing anything.

Yep, I have spoken to Shelter and they have confirmed that I have a valid reason for turning down the flat.

I’m worried about the safety aspects and the rent. I cannot afford 243.00 a week. Maybe for a couple of months whilst I’m in the last year of the course. But after ? No chance. I don’t want us to face eviction.

TheQueef not a studio flat. But, speaking to Shelter, I’ve heard that they are building new flats much more smaller than they are suppose to be. There’s no certain regulations in place, so they can do this. There has been concerns that about safety whilst building flats like this.

The property was still being built whilst I bidding for it. They don’t mention things like ...balcony... when advertising their properties.

You get a probation period- then an assured tenancy ?

OP posts:
WaterSheep · 14/09/2019 14:41

My sister is not like that.

Not yet, but you've already admitted she's putting her life on hold for you and your son. We would like to think that family will always support us, but it's been 5 years already and at some point your sister may decide that her partner and desire for a family come first. It's not a nice thought, but you do need to consider that the current arrangement might not be sustainable.

My sister and I are very close and she loves her nephew. But she is in a relationship which is becoming very serious. They are planning to get married and have a family very soon.