Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not take this housing association property ?

101 replies

Somma · 11/09/2019 09:35

Hello !

I’ve been mmmm and ahhhing. I just don’t know what to do.

After 5 years, myself and DS have been offered a housing association property. Transport links are perfect, it’s a redeveloped building. However, it is expensive but can be manageable.

However, the crime rate in the area is very high, just last week they were three stabbings in the area, there’s a lot of drug and violence crime. I’m extremely concerned about this- especially for DS who has needs and is very vulnerable.

Even though the place is very nice, not everything that glistens is gold and I do not want to be swayed by how the place looks vs not taking into the safety elements into account.

I’m going to have a look to see the area of the property to get a feel from it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to be offered a place but I just want to be sure I’m doing the right thing.

What do you all think ?

OP posts:
CarolineKate · 11/09/2019 14:13

I wouldn't take a nice house in a bad area. The area is what makes your life at the end of the day!

squee123 · 11/09/2019 14:20

I wouldn't stress too much about the crime rate, it's the type of crime and who's involved in it that are relevant. My bit of London has a high crime rate, but the statistics are skewed by all the gangs on the estates sadly stabbing each other. However I don't have cause to go onto the estates and I happily walk back from the tube at midnight alone and haven't had any bother. To me my area feels very safe because my little micro climate is. Have you checked the crime stats for your road and those you'd need to walk down regularly?

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 11/09/2019 14:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Goodlookingcreature · 11/09/2019 14:27

You could pay for your own house in an area you like if that would suit better

x2boys · 11/09/2019 14:27

Do you know anyone who lived there that can tell you what's it's like from a residents point of view? ,I don't live in London but I live in a housing association house in a deprived area ,there are drug issues ,and there was a major incident last week ,but I have lived here over four years now and in spite of the problems it's mainly fairly quiet and we don't have any trouble from the neighbours.

LaurieFairyCake · 11/09/2019 14:31

I'd take it (I live in South London). All of the stabbings or trouble anywhere near me happen late at night.

If you look at the statistics of London stabbings virtually none are 'stranger' stabbings, barely any during the day. I've never felt at risk anywhere.

I'm quite sure there's trouble in Catford or Greenwich at night but I'm tucked up in bed at 10pm 🤷‍♀️

westcountrychicken · 11/09/2019 14:33

What have the HA said about your concerns about the balcony? I would be inclined to let them make it safe.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 11/09/2019 14:33

Just tell the housing association that you can’t take it because the balcony is dangerous for your DS. If you need s valud excuse, that’d do.

Nonmerci · 11/09/2019 14:35

Stabbings happen all over London, they’re almost always gang related and very rarely random attacks. I’d imagine with a young child in tow you won’t be out late at night so honestly, you’re probably pretty safe.

I would personally take it and lock the balcony, hide the key. Short of smashing the window, I can’t see how your DS would get out unless he’s apt at lock picking.

windsorblue · 11/09/2019 14:36

If you have any reports from school or Occupational therapy that say your son has no danger awareness you can copy those to prove there's a valid reason for turning it down .

Jayaywhynot · 11/09/2019 14:38

Take it then put in for an exchange

Embracelife · 11/09/2019 14:51

Take it but say you cannot move in till balcony made safe. Ask social worker and OT to write to them.

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 11/09/2019 14:52

The balcony would count as reasonable refusal. However you need to discuss this fully with HA. Can they make it safe?

If they've looked into your income and expenditure then they believe it's affordable. There is no agenda. Financial viability is really important and a big part of the vertification process.

How many applied for this property? Ask the lettings officer so you can gauge likelyhood of getting another property.

herculepoirot2 · 11/09/2019 14:52

Take it, but try to move again within a couple of years.

sycamore54321 · 11/09/2019 15:01

I’m afraid I know nothing about housing processes and I can appreciate the constraints in your current set-up, but from what you’ve said, id think you should not take it.

The balcony and the danger it poses is already reason enough. However, I’d also be very concerned about moving to an area where a pre-teen would be more likely to be exposed to crime and negative influences. Especially as you say your son has additional needs and so may be more vulnerable to poor influences and pressures.

If he were much younger, than maybe yes move to that area and wait for it to gentrify or move elsewhere after a few years. But at 9, he could easily fall in with a group that doesn’t have the most wholesome influences some time in the next few years. So I’d prioritise limiting that influence as much as possible.

Original poster
Somma · 11/09/2019 15:08

Have you checked the crime stats for your road and those you'd need to walk down regularly

I’ve checked. Sadly, there’s been 365 incidents in the last two months... I’m not sure if that is seen as “bad”.

OP posts:
InsertFunnyUsername · 11/09/2019 15:13

I've lived in North London since I was a kid, an area frequently on the news. But have never had any trouble, if anything kicks off it is mainly at night, or outside the chicken shop after school. I've never been approached or felt scared walking about my daily life, I think when you are on the outside looking in it can seem a lot scarier, so I would go to the area at night and see how it is. Luckily my riad and surrounding ones are quiet, no teens hanging around etc, if it was I might feel different.

squee123 · 11/09/2019 15:18

also re the balcony assuming it has a proper lock then just lock it and hide the key, with a friend or family member if you're really worried

Original poster
Somma · 11/09/2019 15:19

say your son has no danger awareness you can copy those to prove

Yep, the council have evidence that my son has no danger awareness.

Non the holiday apartment’s balcony didn’t have a key. But the balcony had this sophisticated locking mechanism which my son quickly knew how to use. Judging by the way I found him in the morning. His very into problem solving and working out cues. I have an 9 digit passcode on my phone. Whilst I was sitting next to DS, he saw the dust two numbers I entered into my phone and then I turned it away. The next think I know, he takes my phone and types in the nine digit and he gets in Shock.

DS has intense outbursts, we have to put a safety bar on my sisters kitchen window as every time he was upset, he would run towards the window and climb out of it. We have to be very vigilant with him but it would just cause me anxiety.

I think I may not take the flat to be honest.

OP posts:
CharlieCoCo · 11/09/2019 15:22

You mention dark alleyways but these days that isn’t the worry. People are getting stabbed in broad daylight in public. Everywhere in London has a high crime rate and lots of stabbing these days and the warning we had whennyounger about being in public and in light doesn’t seem to affect people doing the crime unfortunately. I would be more concerned about the balcony but look at ways to make that safe, you may regret not taking the place as may not get offered another one anytime soon.

lvsel · 11/09/2019 16:11

I know you dont want to say but I lived in south london for 10 years moved from north so if you want PM me and I can say how the area is if I know.
I lived in west Norwood so know SW well and small parts of SE

lvsel · 11/09/2019 16:13

And as a couple people pointed out everywhere in london is high crime rate. I live in leyton and there is a stabbing, shooting or something every week.

TheQueef · 11/09/2019 16:19

Is it a secure tenancy after probation?

If it is, take it and exchange.

MrsSchadenfreude · 11/09/2019 16:26

I live in a high crime area of central south London. We had someone stabbed outside a Tesco on a main road at lunchtime last year. But most of the crime is gang related - I travel home late at night, so do the DDs, and we’ve never had any trouble.

Take the flat and secure the balcony, even if you have to put bars across it.

pinkcardi · 11/09/2019 16:27

I used to live in an 'up and coming' area of South London. Yes, if you looked at the crime statistics it wasn't great.

But, if you looked into the detail most of the crime was late at night, and related to gangs. If you weren't out at 3am and weren't in a gang it was entirely safe.

It was actually the friendliest and warmest neighbourhood I've lived in, much nicer than fancier parts of town. I got to know my neighbours, the postman, the shop keepers, the people at the station all by name, exchanged Christmas cards etc.

Crime statistics can be quite misleading.