Wwyd.Lying colleague getting on my nerves.I feel like I'm being a bitch.

[whatisforteamum]

For over a year now I made a newbie feel welcome.I am considerably older and took them under my wing.We work in a male dominated environment so a bit intimidating for a.young person.Her college have her a dressing down for hardly attending on day release and school constantly gave Her detentions.
Her attendance has been pretty poor and I've pointed out to my manager people need a chance.Her attitude has been poor too although recently it has improved.I think because I had children myself I can see through the bullshit and have backed off defending her.
This week I found out she has been lying to me.
Every day she wants to get out early.It drives me nuts.We have tasks to do that have to be done.For months I have fallen for her tales of period pains and given her pain killers and let her go early.
As I would for anyone struggling.I stopped the pain killers suggesting she bought some.
Then she accidentally admitted she hasn't had periods for a.year due to contraception!!
I am furious.So angry that she has.blatantly lied to me.
I am done now.....covering shifts.when she is I'll considerably more than anyone else on the team.Am I a bitch for dropping her?
My manager has said he can do no more.for her before now.

The previous girl tried to get my bosses job!.She.constantly argued took cig breaks and came in late and did a whole host of unprofessional things.She was sacked.
The girl I have issues with now befriended her.We thought without the bad influence she could step up.
I just want to do my job,have some positive feedback.Go home.

Bloody heel Hairy! We have caught her out on time off needed that she lied to get.She is only out for herself.She won't last anywhere not being a team player.

I agree that she needed some support to begin with but she needs to learn people will not stand for the slacking off. She needs some home truths now and a dose of reality now or she won't get anywhere in life.

She needs consequences and it sounds like some decent support to find out why she keeps sabotaging everything. College pastoral care should be able to help her with that.

It can be difficult to be in a male dominated environment. I know I spent pretty much all my career in that situation. The only real way through is to be yourself. But I will say that if you don't know who you are, and at 16/17 no one really does, it's really difficult, and if she's had the issues she's mentioned (I say if as she's proven herself a liar) then she's less likely to know her true self.

I'd say the other woman you mention hasn't helped the situation and it's time you took a subtle step back. No more standing up for her with management, you wanted her to have a chance and she has. Nows the time for consequences and especially at the start of the new college year - her course very likely would be at risk if she loses the job as is any future course (uni?) or job.

As others have said, the way you've treated her hasn't helped her. She obviously didn't learn any life lessons in school and now you're making it easy for her to be a terrible employee. That has to stop. You need to treat her as you would anyone else and not take any backchat or bad attitude. It sounds as though the company would be better off if she left.

Is there money involved in your job?

I have tried to impart my 30 plus years of advice

This was your choice, and whatever your intentions it hasn’t been helpful. We can all blame her and label her, or you can change your behaviour and be happier.

What do you mean 'we all told him to go home' (as he was ill)? Do you have authority or not?
Oh well, seems like soon you'll get to be the only woman in the workplace again soon as you quite liked that didn't you.

It doesn’t sound a very professional workplace. You’re contradicting yourself a lot. Are you her manager or a self appointed mentor? Have you covered for her and vouched for her or not?

Just do your job and don’t put yourself out for colleagues you don’t know. Especially not through some sort of misplaced protection of the sisterhood. She doesn’t need protecting or defending. If she’s any good she’ll thrive, if she’s the many terrible things you accuse her of now you feel she’s not suitably grateful for your support she’ll lose her job. Unclench a bit and try not to get sucked into so much drama.

Sargrad I didn't mind being the only woman.I also welcomed some female company as.some of the conversations are grim.I am no price though.I didn't reckon on two women in succession being so unreliable or insubordinate.The first one was given many warnings.
I have never come across such poor attitudes in many decades.
I preferred a more disciplined workplace but I'm reluctant to leave a job I otherwise love and pays well for someone who is passing through.Why would i?.

I had no such qualms with my own teen dcs.I found it easy to stay strong.

Teen or not, she is not your child. You are not her mother and mothering and management are very different. Sorry OP, just joining the general "take a step back and leave her to it".

I was only enquiring whether being lied to repeatedly would wind others up.We work as a team so giving her a wide berth is not an option.She to the nature of the job we spend 11/13 hours with whoever we are paired with on rotation.

Of course you can't give her a wide berth but you described carrying her and covering shifts in your OP so you don't have to do that anymore.
You became furious when you realised she was on contraception- I would keep that one quiet from the boss as it sounds weird. Just let her sink or swim like anyone else has to in the workplace.