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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws and baby news

57 replies

Gutsout · 10/09/2019 22:09

My OH called in laws to tell them we r having a baby while I’m with him. They congratulate him and then they put the phone down.

AIBU to think that they are being rude by not even asking to speak to me ?

OP posts:
TheTrollFairy · 10/09/2019 22:11

If it was in person and they didn’t congratulate you then it would be a bit rude but I couldn’t get worked up by not being told congratulations over the phone

CluelessNewMama · 10/09/2019 22:12

I think you might be being a little over sensitive sorry. If they were generally excited for you both otherwise then I wouldn’t be offended by that. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Justmuddlingalong · 10/09/2019 22:12

Pick your battles, OP.

9cats · 10/09/2019 22:13

Personally, I wouldn't tell them over the phone. Always done it in person.

Wishforsnow · 10/09/2019 22:15

No, I think that would be fine as otherwise you could start a thread saying they asked too many questions and were try to get too involved

PumpityPumpPump · 10/09/2019 22:15

Well said muddling, pick your battles. 🤐

PurpleDaisies · 10/09/2019 22:17

I wouldn’t be upset by this. I would assume the congratulations to him were you both of you.

Don’t go looking to be offended when there’s no need.

CherryPavlova · 10/09/2019 22:17

Agree it’s a non issue and looking for something to be cross about.

AllTheNames · 10/09/2019 22:19

Mine put the phone down on him when he called to tell them. Then when they visited my parents to collect something they ignored the matter entirely. And when questioned about it later by my partner (who wasn't there at the time), said how upset they were that it had been taken that way.

They've seen her I think 3 times in her seven months? Their loss entirely, she is an absolute delight and yes, my PFB Grin

littleduckeggblue · 10/09/2019 22:20

Yabvu

Rachelle11 · 10/09/2019 22:53

I would think nothing of this. My inlaws never spoke to me. It never occurred to me they should.

Boom45 · 10/09/2019 22:54

Why would they need to speak to you?

BackforGood · 10/09/2019 22:55

YABVU, and a little ridiculous.

As someone else said, if you'd all been sat in the room and they'd ignored you then that would be odd, but I wouldn't expect my dh to have passed the phone over to me, anymore than I would have expected to pass the phone to him when telling my parents if I'd had to tell them on the phone.

Windydaysuponus · 10/09/2019 22:55

Be glad they aren't camped at your door awaiting the birth....

Ginger1982 · 10/09/2019 22:57

Non issue.

MoseShrute · 10/09/2019 23:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Isitme13 · 10/09/2019 23:03

Do you normally have a good relationship?

My MIL asked to speak to me when exH phoned to break pregnancy news - she had been gushy and lovely with exH, then when I came on the phone, she just said ‘of course, you can’t expect us to be excited, this is our 8th grandchild, and it’s not as if it’s anything new for exH either’ (he had 2 dc from a previous relationship).

Which made me feel all warm and fuzzy, naturally 😂

As a pp said, their loss.

OP, try not to take it to heart. If you usually have a good relationship, maybe try to overlook this. If you don’t, then start laughing at it now, because it’s a trend that may well continue!

NearlyGranny · 10/09/2019 23:04

I think they were rather rude, personally! I would have had to tell you how thrilled I was and find out how you were feeling about everything. They sound very cold to me.

Original poster
Gutsout · 10/09/2019 23:10

Forgot to mention . We don’t see them very often because they don’t live close by .

OP posts:
Tonnerre · 10/09/2019 23:29

I'm just imagining the conversation with my in-laws if they'd insisted on congratulating me in person if DH told them by phone. I think it would have been pretty awkward and stilted, even though I got on pretty well with MiL, just because at that stage I didn't know her that well. I was quite happy for DH to pass on their congratulations.

Sunshine93 · 10/09/2019 23:32

I don't think this is a big deal. You are being a bit of. Sorry. Try not to give it another thought

MrsDimmond · 10/09/2019 23:34

That doesn't strike me as odd at all. Unless he routinely passes the phone to you when he contacts his parents, or you regularly speak to them?

Sunshine93 · 10/09/2019 23:37

Sorry I think I was overly harsh. What I meant was that sometimes when we have our first pregnancy/baby we want everything to be "perfect" and we have a picture in our minds of what that means. Inevitably not all parts of the experience live up to expectations.

I don't think the in laws will have meant anything bad and I don't think you should feel offended or hurt. Just feel excited about your baby and give this no more thought.

Neveam · 10/09/2019 23:43

I didnt get a congratulations when my dp told them face to face. On the phone usually people say to pass it on and maybe your dp just didn't?

At least they don't live close by I guess 😂

Doormat247 · 10/09/2019 23:44

Maybe they expected the news in person?

At least you got a congrats. My partners mother was absolutely vile when he told her a couple of weeks ago. Told him we'll regret it, probably won't love it and should just abort ASAP Shock. She was far more concerned he won't let her live with us which appears to have been her long term plan. In laws are ace aren't they Confused

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