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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws and baby news

57 replies

Gutsout · 10/09/2019 22:09

My OH called in laws to tell them we r having a baby while I’m with him. They congratulate him and then they put the phone down.

AIBU to think that they are being rude by not even asking to speak to me ?

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 10/09/2019 23:48

No, I don’t think they were being rude.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/09/2019 01:08

Let it go. It's not worth wasting emotional energy on.

Rachelle11 · 11/09/2019 02:46

Even if they live far away how would that matter? This is a bit absurd.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 11/09/2019 02:51

I would take that as a win personally. They congratulated you both via DP AND you didn't have to speak to them on the phone for hours!

Monty27 · 11/09/2019 02:54

Apart from speaking to you what did you expect from them?
They're probably worried about phone charges.

StroppyWoman · 11/09/2019 02:55

YABVU

Of course they don’t need to speak to you. If you get insulted by this level of thing, you’ve got a difficult road ahead.
They are pleased for you both. That’s a win.

1forAll74 · 11/09/2019 03:28

It's not an issue really, they got the message, and that's that. Perhaps in the middle of watching Corrie or something !

20viona · 11/09/2019 03:31

I wouldn't tell them over the phone but I also wouldn't be arsed about speaking to them if my husband had.

WhoArtinHeaven · 11/09/2019 04:03

Hormones be makin' you crazy.

Derbee · 11/09/2019 04:32

YABVU. I don’t see the point in getting worked up about non issues. Your are being over sensitive and looking for drama where there is none. Get over it and focus on things that actually matter.

OMGshefoundmeout · 11/09/2019 04:48

I can remember telling my DP about my first pregnancy but I cannot even remember how or when we told my ILs about that one or any subsequent one. I can’t remember if it was in phone or in person or even if I was present but I do know they have been constant loving GPs to our DC.

This is no biggie OP. Assuming they are OK in other ways I would not be bothered at all. Perhaps you being so put out is the start of pregnancy hormones kicking in? I know mine made me very unreasonable sometimes!

NoSauce · 11/09/2019 05:58

You’re looking for trouble where there ain’t any.

Aus84 · 11/09/2019 10:17

Oh dear, it starts...

Nonmerci · 11/09/2019 10:18

Not a big deal at all. Tell them in person if you want a big hoohah congratulations.

DriftingLeaves · 11/09/2019 10:19

Maybe they thought your husband would pass on the congratulations. It's what normal people do.

Why are you looking for offence where there is none?

SummerHouse · 11/09/2019 10:23

Perhaps they needed to get off the phone so they could organise the white doves, fireworks and marching band.

aweedropofsancerre · 11/09/2019 10:29

Sounds reasonable response to me. They congratulated there son. I wouldn’t have expected my in-laws to speak to me. Anyway my in-laws were told we have some good news to share with our last baby and they asked my DH if he was sure it was ‘good news’. Hmm

Peterpiperpickedwrongagain · 11/09/2019 10:55

They have given their congratulations.

Would DH normal hand the phone over to you to talk to them when he speaks to them on the phone? If not then YABU.
IF you would normally chat to them after he’s spoken to them and the just didn’t this time then YANBU.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 11/09/2019 10:58

Did Your parents ask to speak to Your DH to congratulate him?

KUGA · 11/09/2019 11:10

Maybe they were about to go out ?.
Leave headspace for upcoming wonderful birth.

AugieMarch · 11/09/2019 11:14

YABU. My pil live across an ocean and I love them dearly. They didn't ask to speak to me personally to congratulate me on either pregnancy because they congratulated us through their conversation with their son. I think you are being crazy to find any issue with this.

TheTrollFairy · 11/09/2019 11:16

Regardless of their distance to you it’s still a non issue!

tillytrotter1 · 11/09/2019 11:16

If you felt it was important that they spoke to you, without wishing to be MN's favourite nosey in-laws, then why didn't you phone them? I honestly think that 'his' parents are generally treated very badly, certainly with less respect than 'her' darling parents, they can't do right for doing wrong!

PotolBabu · 11/09/2019 11:17

Yes did your parents also congratulate DH? This would not even occur to me and like a PP the parents and in laws live 25-28 hours away by flight. I told mine, DH told his. General delight was expressed and everyone got on with it. Both times. They are all doting grandparents now.

Rezie · 11/09/2019 11:17

It would not have been occurred to me to request speaking with you. I think your partner telling them and then them congratulating covered it for the both of you.