To wonder where you made mum friends

[Jadefeather7]

Currently on mat leave with a 5 month old baby who was very unsettled in early days so didn’t really go out. Don’t have any friends with babies. My Nct group hasn’t worked out which is a shame. I will be going to baby sensory next week. Any other suggestions?

My local area has a playgroup somewhere (usually church halls) every week day with babies’ areas or groups specifically for non-mobile babies / those under one. Some days there was more than one. I knew no one in the area as we moved here after having our first child, so after baby number 2 was born I went out every day to each group and was welcomed into Tea, biscuit, chat, and made several mum friends that way. We still see one another regularly. Also friends through nursery / school friends later.

I found all the groups local to me on “the other site”. But also on the Hoop app. Good luck. Be bold and willing to talk and smile.

You know, I was going to post the same thing earlier. I’m naturally an introvert and this whole thing is alien to me. My Dd is getting to an age though where she would benefit from being around other children so I’ve been doing messy play, singing, soft play etc. I just don’t know how to go from chit chat about sleep to actually making a friend. I walked up to a group of mums in a toddler group today and tried to make conversation but I felt like a child myself trying to make friends in a playground! There is a site called ‘mummy social’ which is a friendship making group, I did meet someone from there who was local.

I was the first in my group to have a baby and sadly it took until DC started school for me too make mum friends.

Might not be useful but I noticed an Instagram page called mummysocial mummysocial.com/

Hope someone comes with more suggestions

You could ask the NCT if there are any other active tea groups in your area. Say you have been orphaned by your group not working out and are struggling.

I actually met some local MNers.

NHS postnatal course, at local clinic, when my son was about 4 months They taught us about feeding, dentist, tried baby massage. And I made two lovely friends.

And then nursery, but only after a couple of years in, when the kids were old enough to go to one another’s birthday parties.

Baby swimming, yoga and cross fit classes. Plus the sling library.

school for me. I didn't make any mum friends until DS1 started school. He is now 13 and I have one or two really good mum friends who will outlast school etc.

When DS1 was a baby I felt very isolated even though I worked PT. I just didn't have the network I had with DS2.

Some libraries run ‘baby bounce’ singing classes once a week. I met some lovely mums there and still friends years later!

NCT and playgroups. That gave me plenty of friends but I could have made more at other groups - swimming, music etc. I live in a friendly area I think. My main advice is stick to local activities and groups if you can. I made friends in other parts of the city but now our kids are at different schools it's not easy to keep friendships going.

@MildThing interesting idea. I didn’t think of that. Do NCT keep in touch with the group? I don't think our co ordinator knows that our group never took off so wondering if they keep in touch with anyone after the course is over. I don’t think there was any other group running around the same time as ours but its probably worth asking anyway.

I found it easier when my daughter was a bit older, say around 18 months, as then they had some awareness of other children and you could invite them round or to the park to play together, which is a bit easier than asking a mum on a mum date if that makes sense. Also the older they are, the less the age difference matters, so you get to know people who have children born 6 months either side.

In the mean time you could research different things to do - one off events and mention to people you meet - have you seen this, are you going, do you want to go together etc. again it's a bit easier when the kids are a bit bigger as realistically a 5 month old isn't going to care about a baby concert or something.

Breastfeeding group? Mush?

Have you checked out your local childrens centre ?they often run courses and activities. Ask at your next weigh in session if they can recommend anything.....

Action for children ran a 12 week free course in our local surestart centre on baby massage, weaning, first aid, safesleep etc and it was a really friendly group, we all stayed in touch and over 2 years later I see 3 of them on a regular basis. I found the classes I paid for like baby sensory the mums were a little more reserved and there wasn’t much opportunity to try and interact. I met another mum friend on the mush app and we still meet up regularly too.

DS1 - NCT. Then moved area when he was 1. I made one friend at a singing group but was fairly lonely until DS2 came along. With him I met people at the breastfeeding group, then started volunteering with the NCT. Also met people at the school gate once DS1 started nursery.

Rhymetime at local library and local toddler/baby groups. Lots in my area, probably one for every day of the week. I made great friends there. I found it easier to go to these informal groups, rather than something more structured like baby yoga. Mainly because they are drop in and it doesn't matter if you are late/leave early/miss it. When my kids were under 1, I just went with the flow and couldn't be bothered with a routine. That of course may not be your thing and you may prefer a class. I know yoga, swimming, buggy fit, baby massage are popular around here.

Mush and baby groups

My NCT also didn't work out, good friends with two of the group, but had nothing in common with the rest (more to it than that of course!). But since those early, lonely days (I'm an older mum, so friends had their kids long ago, and childless friends weren't interested!), I went to the following places and met some really lovely people:

Baby Sensory
Local library (rhyme and story time)
Swimming (chatted to Mums at the side whilst LO swam with DH)
Local baby and toddler groups (often in church halls)
NCT sales (when I volunteer)
Forest schools
and weirdly facebook selling sites!

Meeting friends happens in the weirdest of places, just go with it, say hello to someone who is on their own (easier than a group in my mind!).

Surestart... very lucky they were around when my babies were babies.
Mum/baby groups in church halls etc
Parent/baby swimming
I was a serial group-joiner, but it gave me some structure and friends
I didn’t particular gel with my NCT group, but I did become quite involved with the local branch and made a few friends that way.

I went to the stay & play baby group which the health visitors ran (you should of been given a leaflet about it, same place baby gets weighed but on a different day) it’s good because all the babies are similar ages & young so the mums just sat in a circle talking rattling toys in the babies faces 😂 I met 4 amazing friends & now our once newborns are 2 & we still meet up regularly.

I made some super friends through an NCT type group, toddler groups and just by randomly talking to people.

It's a hard one. I found you had to try out a variety of groups/classes to find one that suited and had good people.

Bounce and Rhyme at the library
HV run group - still in touch with these mums 8 years later!
Buggyfit
Swimming

Try the mush app. You can meet local mums on there

Church playgroups are normally great for meeting others and good value - I love that there is a mix of parents / grandparents- at music and massage groups I found them more antisocial as no-one moved around x

It’s worth checking out your local NCT branch page... even if your group didn’t work out, they may do other activities such as a baby group or walking group.