To think my 6yo DS in year 2 should have his shirt tucked in for school

[justbeingadad]

As the title. AIBU to make my son go to school with his shirt tucked in?

The school doesn't seem to have a rule regarding this.

Context, he doesn't like tucking it in, probably because he's never been made to. His mother is adamant he shouldn't have to tuck it in. I think he should as it looks really sloppy (to the point of it reflecting badly on us as parents if we can't even dress our DS "properly").

[justbeingadad]

Okay, I understand the points everyone has made. This isn't about my and his mother. Maybe I missed the point on this, but given the school's rules is that everyone wears shirts and tie etc (it's an elastic tie, not a proper tied tie) I think it's important for him to take some self-pride in his appearance.

I don't "make" him and I simply tell him he looks much smarter if he does tuck it in, sometimes he does.

I'm interested to hear about the people who think their parents being strict caused anxiety. I feel like my parents were too casual and let me control things too much, so this could be why I feel like some childhood discipline is not a bad thing.

As a lot have said, there are more important battles to pick and this isn't a battle, I just feel that being well presented is important.

@tempnamechange98765 really sorry, no idea what happened.

[justbeingadad]

@Stixkystick

No.

[Bookworm4]

If you’re so concerned make sure you get him ready and to school every day. To call people slobs for untucked shirts is just nasty and an obvious dig at his mum, no wonder you’re separated, you sound like an uptight judgy cock.

[Bookworm4]

@MrsBertBibby
Absolutely spot on!!!
Wish my DP exW could read that, her bitter pettiness is exhausting.

[CheshireChat]

Also, lots of countries don't have a uniform at all, let alone shirts and ties in primary and they still do perfectly fine at school and beyond.

Mind you, I have a rather vain 4yo who prefers his shirt ironed

[MrsBertBibby]

This isn't about my and his mother.

So why mention her? It very clearly is.

I've spent 25 years doing divorce, I am pretty good at spotting the toxic fighters of both genders. Please, don't be one.

[purpleboy]

Im totally With you op. I see no reason why children shouldn't look presentable. I think parents and children should both take pride in their appearance. I often see a correlation between smart looking parents and their children and scruffy looking parents and their children. I guess it's the difference between people who view it as important and those who don't. I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with either opinion but I personally prefer dc and I to look presentable.

[Stixkystick]

@justbeingadad

I’d check all your other parenting when he is with you - do you cook him healthy food, do you insist he brushes his teeth, do you get him to bed at a decent hour, do you support him by listening to him read and when he tries to learn his times tables, do you spend good quality time with him without being on your phone etc - and THEN get to stressing about shirts being tucked in. There are more important things with more important long term consequences than that.

[Croquembou]

Tbh, a man could say anything literally anything here and be wrong.

Then, frankly, why not go hang out on a different website. Maybe one not called Mumsnet.

[Drogosnextwife]

Tbh, a man could say anything literally anything here and be wrong.

Bullshit

[Drogosnextwife]

I’m not sure it’s that massive a strangulation hazard Drogo since millions of children do it and I’ve never heard of a serious case (I assume it occasionally happens, but not in the numbers that would constitute massive risk). I would also struggle to judge the parenting who sent their child to a good local school where they were happy but which had ties in the uniform rather than commuting to the other side of town or reluctantly homeschooling.

You have your opinion, I have mine. Mine is almost as ridiculous as the OPs, but mine makes more sense. Shirt tucked in, no difference to shirt not tucked in. Tie around a small child's neck, potential strangulation hazard, no tie around a small child's neck, not so much of a strangulation hazzard 🤷‍♀️

[Drogosnextwife]

I'm interested to hear about the people who think their parents being strict caused anxiety. I feel like my parents were too casual and let me control things too much, so this could be why I feel like some childhood discipline is not a bad thing.

Do you think that is why you are still so controlling?

[BogglesGoggles]

It is good to teach him how how to dress properly. Otherwise he’ll be one of those people who turns up to an interview with an untucked shirt.

[youarenotkiddingme]

You carry on judging parents who send their children to school with shirts out.

You judge me daily of it makes you feel better.

I'll carry on sending my child to school with it untucked whilst being grateful he's attending after trying hang himself at 11 so he never had to go to school again.

He's learnt many many valuable skills these past 3 years. He's come so far it's phenomenal.
He's clean, well cared for and loved.

But he cannot focus with his shirt in 🤷‍♀️

One day you'll realise that it's judgemental twist like you who end up the most judged.

[Mamabear144]

Compromise and tuck it up into his jumper, he'll feel like its not tucked in and he'll look like it is