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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my baby in the car by herself to sleep

214 replies

margaritaproblems · 09/09/2019 13:59

It feels like I am but I don't know 🤷‍♀️
We live in a very quiet cul de sac. Baby is 6 months old and was asleep when we got back so we have let her finish her sleep alone in the car.

Context
We also have a bouncy 4 yo that keeps disturbing her naps so she will nap better away from her.

The car is on the driveway, in full view.

I have left the drivers door wide open so I can hear her if she cries, I have my front windows and door wide open too. I am sat with dd inside, but tv is off while she is colouring in so I can hear.

Although baby is in the car she is only actually about 10ft away from where I am sat.

I can't actually see baby, but I can hear if she cries, and I can't actually see her having all of her nap inside if she was inside anyway as she naps in her pram bassinet so it's not that different, but it feels so alien,
I think because we have only lived here around a year and I could never have done this where we lived before, but if iabu then I won't do it again.

OP posts:
ERS25 · 09/09/2019 15:35

Because you were watching it was probably fine but I personally wouldn't do it. If your DH is at home then you could have sat in the car (I've done this with my LO a fair few times) or just had to take her in. If I'm sat watching the car I may as well be in it. But I wouldn't feel comfortable, and would be worried the other LO may distract. Anything can happen and very quickly.

Expo · 09/09/2019 15:36

**If someone steals a car with a baby in it they dump the baby somewhere and make off with the car, if they don't abandon both.

Ok so then people are weird if they don’t think this is an acceptable risk to take? It’s fine because the baby will be dumped somewhere!

If everybody who does this talks about being super vigilant and watching the car like a hawk - doesn’t that in itself tell you something.

lvsel · 09/09/2019 15:38

I dont have a child yet but I wouldn't be comfortable with this because you left the door open.

If I was to ever do this I would leave the windows open but not open enough for someone to reach through and put a baby monitor in so you can hear everything.

Futhermore I would need to have cctv in my drive.

Moominfan · 09/09/2019 15:39

I've done this. Toddler fast asleep. If I move him he's awake. Left from door open, I can see car from where I'm sat. Window open but cars locked. Sat and had a brew for half an hour.

1forAll74 · 09/09/2019 15:44

It all sounds fairly ok the way you have described everything, but as you have mentioned, a cat or dog could get in the car, they can sniff out a human, One of my cats jumped into a neighbours car,when they were unpacking some shopping, and going back and forth to their house.

Derbee · 09/09/2019 15:45

I can see how it’s tempting, but unless I was able to sit in the car with the baby, I wouldn’t do it. Also don’t think I’d be comfortable leaving a baby in a car seat for that long, unless it’s a lie flat.

You’d probably get away with it 99.9% of the time, but I would be too stressed to leave a baby unattended in a car, regardless of the circumstances

CandyLeBonBon · 09/09/2019 15:50

I swear the MN community is the most paranoid I've ever seen. It reminds me of this Catherine Tate sketch

ShirleyPhallus · 09/09/2019 15:52

I wouldn’t.

There was also the case where the mother accidentally left the handbrake off and the baby in the car, the car rolled away and the landed in a river and the baby drowned. While I’m sure you’re not near a river, if anything like that happened I’m sure you’d absolutely kick yourself for not just bringing the baby in

Nonnymum · 09/09/2019 15:58

Sorry, but I wouldn't do it. Sometimes cars get stolen from drives. I would either stay in the car while she slept or as you can't do that because of your other child I would bring the car seat with sleeping baby in it even if it means your other child might wake the baby up.

Badtasteflump · 09/09/2019 16:00

Not wishing to hijack thread, but the asphyxiation thing from babies sleeping in car seats has shocked me! I'm clearly out of touch as my DC were babies a long time ago, but I always used to let them sleep in their car seats. And actually it would have been nearly impossible to stop them, as they would always drop off as soon as the engine started - so what then happens on long journeys if sleeping is a no no? Has made me feel a bit sick actually Sad.

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 09/09/2019 16:03

Ha ha ShirleyPhallus you are hilarious!

Celebelly · 09/09/2019 16:11

The OP has a lie-flat car seat so it's fine for baby to sleep in from a positioning point of view.

For long journeys with traditional car seats, you should really be stopping every hour or so to get younger babies out and reposition them (30 minutes for newborns).

cansu · 09/09/2019 16:11

I really wouldn't do this and I am a pretty relaxed parent. If she was unwell or unresponsive you would not know. I would take her inside and place car seat in another room for her to finish her nap. She would be better off in her pram in the back garden if well wrapped up but not on drive.

Hedgehogblues · 09/09/2019 16:11

@00Badtasteflump

You are supposed to stop every so often depending on their age and take them out the car seat (it's much more likely to happen after a certain amount of time)

insanemumof3 · 09/09/2019 16:11

i wouldnt. too many negatives to the very few positives. really surprised that there are so many people who think this is okay Hmm

with the replies you have given to previous posts from others with your answers to everything it already makes me think you think its a good idea and just want to be told your right Confused

Celebelly · 09/09/2019 16:11

It's not the sleeping that's the problem, it's being in the same position for long periods of time as they can slump and have head flop.

Zuma76 · 09/09/2019 16:18

Blimey where do the pp live? What drama llamas. How many instances of baby kidnapping have you heard about from a car parked on someone’s drive recently? Even say the last 5 years. I’m pretty sure it would make the news and I can’t think of 1.
I used to leave my baby in the car while she slept and go on and do my hoovering!

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 09/09/2019 16:18

All these people who are concerned that OP would not notice if the baby was unwell/unresponsive/silently choking...don’t you go to sleep at night? How are you watching your sleeping babies then?!

Scrumptiousbears · 09/09/2019 16:23

I never have and never would. There is just no need for it.

IamWaggingBrenda · 09/09/2019 16:23

I wouldn’t do it. Chances are small that anything would happen, but not impossible. Would you leave money or a purse sitting in full view in your car? Probably not, and obviously your baby is far more precious.

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 09/09/2019 16:26

Would you leave money or a purse sitting in full view in your car? Probably not, and obviously your baby is far more precious.

@IamwaggingBrenda money is MUCH more attractive to thieves than a baby! How many wraps of heroin do you think you can buy with a 6 month-old?!

namechangetheworld · 09/09/2019 16:27

YANBU OP, I do this most days quite a bit and I'm the most paranoid parent out there.

Normally I park right outside the house and sit on the stairs in the hall with the front door open. I can see the car but not baby DD. We live in a tiny village on a very quiet street though. If I lived in a city I wouldn't dream of it.

Megan2018 · 09/09/2019 16:29

I’d do this but we have 6ft solid electric driveway gates and a walled drive, so with the gates shut no-one can get to the car or see it. I’m not sure I would with people being able to walk past, and we live in a teeny rural hamlet.

Hedgehogblues · 09/09/2019 16:29

All these people who are concerned that OP would not notice if the baby was unwell/unresponsive/silently choking...don’t you go to sleep at night? How are you watching your sleeping babies then?!

Babies are much safer in cots than car seats

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 09/09/2019 16:32

I wouldn’t. It’s not worth the total agony you’d feel for the rest of your life if something happened.

Just take her inside in the car seat and put her in her room.

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