Diet culture in office

[allymcbeals]

AIBU to be thoroughly fed up and downright offended at some of the conversations in my new work place. They are all obsessed with diets (which is nothing new I'm offices I know) but as a bigger girl they make comments about other people
Like "oh she's so big now, must be a size 20, she's always eating takeaways so she mustn't care" etc etc

I'm talking all day.

I have worked in a lot of offices but this is the worst I've ever experienced- I feel really uncomfortable!!!

I'm probably being over-sensitive I know, but I'm just keeping my head down and getting on with my work. I just feel like it's so unprofessional commenting on peoples appearances like
That.

Aww OP I totally get how you feel. I cringe when people comment on other people’s weights as it’s just so inconsiderate to others around them. Even when they talk about how ‘huge’ they are as a size 12 or something, inside I’m thinking ‘you do realise there are people listening to you that are the same size or bigger’

Please do t take it to heart as they are just silly and self obsessed. They’re clearly not very happy in their lives to be discussing things like this, especially other people. Are you able to put earphones in and listen to music? Or maybe comment that you think the people they are discussing look lovely and happy. Maybe complimenting the people they are discussing or saying ‘actually I think she looks nice, I love her hair/top/sense of humoir’ Etc can break their discussion or make them realise they’re being horrible.

YANBU Op. It's suffocating isn't it. They do it in my office all the time, constantly banging on about which diet they are on, but then in the same breath they are ordering big plates of food from the restaurant next door. It's mind boggling and utterly dull.

If someone made comments like that to me at work about another colleague I think I'd be telling them that it's not OK to talk about someone like that, it's unkind and mentioning someone's appearance is very unprofessional and not all relevant in an office (or ever really!) Then try and change the subject.

Talking about diets etc is a no win situation.
Eg. As a smaller person interested in fitness I talked about a nice healthy version of a take away I found and someone said "but there's nothing on you". I wasn't passing comment on anyone else. I hadn't asked for a comment on my size. It was a nice swap I did and I don't diet. Some people seem to think anyone smaller than them shouldn't engage in any food chat that isn't talk of takeaways (or worse seem to think anyone smaller than them expressing any desire to change it any dissatisfaction with themselves is some sort of dig at them and the smaller person shouldn't share their view for fear of someone bigger not liking it).

Personally I find it mind numbing hearing the same people talk about diets and syns and then by Thursday it's all about takeaways and their drinking / going out for food plans. I find it ridiculous about how the new diet starts on Monday but in 3 weeks time there'll be a new one.

However if people wish to chat about their dieting then I couldn't care less and anyone who looks at other women discussing their food/exercise and gets bothered by it or takes it personally needs to get a grip and/or sort their own feelings about themselves out.

Being unpleasant about others and sitting bitching about them is nasty though.

I'm sorry but could these be directed at you? May be they are just being bitchy.

Christ I’m glad I don’t work in an office full of women anymore! I’ve seen this in several workplaces and it is soul destroying. Endless analysis of calories, lunches, “syns” and unwanted comments about other people’s lunches........ “Oooh won’t you be hungry if that’s all your having?” Or stupid giggling over cakes and buns. None of these people ever seem to actually lose weight either!

Talking about diets and their own weight loss efforts and their own attitudes to their own bodies is one thing - that's up to them, although I appreciate you might find it boring/irritating.

But if they're talking about other people and criticising specific body types or sizes in general, that's not OK at all.

For example:

"I really need to lose some weight, none of my clothes fit and I don't feel right at this size" or "I'm so pleased, I've lost 2lb this week" or "I put on half a stone on holiday, I really need to stick to salad" - fine, it's about them, not you or anyone else (even if you happen to find diet talk distasteful).

"Urrrgggh, I'd die rather than a be a size 20, it's gross to be that big" or "Have you seen so-and-so? She looks so massive at the moment" - insensitive at best, downright rude at worst, and you have every right to consider it unprofessional and unpleasant.

I have no problem
With discussing food and healthy eating/exercise- but the comments about other people are too much.

Well if they are directed at me then I'm not sure what I've done to deserve such a level of unkindness!

Sadly you can`t convert the stupid.
Carry on doing what you are doing OR blatantly ask them if those comments are aimed at you.
That might shut them up.

THIS. I really feel for you!

My office has recently started up a 'diet club' with weekly weigh-ins and financial fines if you put on weight! How this has been allowed to be circulated to the whole London office is quite beyond me.

Also constant references to being 'good' or 'naughty' for not eating/eating something sweet. Surely we are more intelligent than this?!

I worked in an office that had a weight watchers at work group, with a consultant doing weigh ins and chat about the benefits of rice cakes. We were allowed to attend in work time. It was very tedious.

My current client site is the opposite. Cakes, chocolates and biscuits all the bloody time. Lots of comment if you don't want to stuff your face on sugar constantly.

@allymcbeals Urgh they sound vile and bitchy. You poor thing.

No idea what to suggest though, except ignore them!

What a bitchy environment! They clearly belong in the school playground.

Could always try “Well Susan, Sophie might be fat eating takeaways but at least she isn’t a horrible bitch 😃” Alternately just ignore her she must be a deeply unhappy person of this is how she gets her kicks....

Blackfriars are we in the same office!? There's a diet club in work at the moment. I've declined to join. Lots of 'oh really, are you sure?' and sidways looks. I'm a size 18. I'm on my own diet plan for PCOS. I have no wish to share this with the vipers at work, who competitivly calorie count and berate each other over eating cake. They all have shocking diets. Live on pot noodles and rice cakes. I have a healthy veg and fruit filled diet. I don't need to be weighed weekly by Brenda from accounts and be tutted at.

I've seen this toxic culture myself in offices I've worked in and it depresses me so much that this is something we're still need to talk about in 2019.

I was 'invited' to join a diet and weekly weigh in at work a few years ago. One of my colleagues actually brought a scales into the office. I declined (as group humiliation isn't my style), very politely. My colleague was gobsmacked that I wasn't going to be a part of it as 'everyone else was'. As I had never spoken to her about my weight, I was really pissed off that she thought I should be a part of the weight loss and weigh in club. I was a size 10-12 at the time.

I don’t miss the food diet talks on the one hand and the regular eating of cakes and sweet treats in the other. It was annoying and obsessive. I had never worked anywhere where there was so much diet culture obsession only to put on weight because I was given plates of cake every day by slim ladies wanting me to eat the cake they would buy in and feed everyone with. So weird. Even saying I was gluten free, or vegan whatever they still brought in special sweet food cake/treats for me. It was terrible and happened daily.

Thank god I work with people who have actual chat. This would bore me to rudeness.

It’s really shit and backwards, this culture of constantly talking about food and bodies. Unhealthy relationships with food, of whatever kind, are hardly uncommon and it’s just impossible to know who might be going through what. Personally i think this sort of chat should be banned in professional settings but i have no idea how one would go about dismantling a culture which is seemingly so endemic. It’s so hard to be That Person who stands up and challenges it when it happens, especially if your body type is such that people will conclude that your stance is just because you have issues of your own. For this reason, as a woman who is in the rare fortunate position of having a healthy relationship with food, i always take it on myself to shut it down when it happens in my hearing (in as nice a way as possible obvs). I just say things like ‘ugh please don’t comment on people’s weight/bodies’ or ‘people can be going through stuff we don’t know about, commenting on weight/diet might not be helpful, you never know, best not to say anything really’

But it’s so hard. You have my sympathies

Just keep on ignoring them OP. I don't think there's much else you can do beyond hope some less dreary people start at the company!

Omg it is so fucking dull.

Sharing nice recipes etc., fine.

Constantly talking about calories, pounds, losses, gains, keto (fucking keto 🙄) drinking weird concoctions so you don't lose electrolytes 😄 - like they fall out your arse or something.

Boring, dull, repetitive drivel.

YANBU, that’s really inconsiderate. Take solace in the fact that you’re not like them.

I am absolutely gobsmacked at the idea of a work weight loss club! In theory it makes sense for employers to support initiatives to improve their employees' health, but weight is so personal, I'd rather die than weigh myself in front of all my colleagues! Things like having a biscuit-free office, or adding a salad bar to a cafeteria, or replacing vending machine snacks with healthier options is fine, but the idea of a weighing-in club just makes me cringe, especially if there's actual pressure to join in.

My last workplace was terrible for it, everyone (male and female) was fucking obsessed. Two of my colleagues had a long bitching session one desk away from mine about someone they knew who was "massive now, probably a size 18".

I was a size 18 at the time, so that felt really nice. Dicks.