Diet culture in office

[allymcbeals]

AIBU to be thoroughly fed up and downright offended at some of the conversations in my new work place. They are all obsessed with diets (which is nothing new I'm offices I know) but as a bigger girl they make comments about other people
Like "oh she's so big now, must be a size 20, she's always eating takeaways so she mustn't care" etc etc

I'm talking all day.

I have worked in a lot of offices but this is the worst I've ever experienced- I feel really uncomfortable!!!

I'm probably being over-sensitive I know, but I'm just keeping my head down and getting on with my work. I just feel like it's so unprofessional commenting on peoples appearances like
That.

I feel for you, people can be so unaware. Or just lacking in thought.

The first time I took my dcs to a badminton club I went up to say hello to the leaders (first time Id ever seen/spoken to them)and they said "Oh we have a weigh competition here where we put in a pound and whoever loses most that week gets the money do you want to join?" Made me feel so embarrassed that the first thing they ever said to me was about losing weight

I think I’d say something. Id politely point out that it makes you self conscious when they talk about fat people in a derogatory way. I’d be friendly and make out like you think they were doing it by mistake.

“Haha, sorry guys. I hope it’s not too awkward to mention this bit I think you have forgotten that I’m in the room when you are being mean about people being fat. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to be honest. I know you aren’t talking about me but Im sure you can understand why It makes feel a bit crap. So Any chance you could keep the diet chat a bit more positive. Thanks so much. I really appreciate it”

TBH I’d probably go for a more direct call out when they were mid conversation. I’d probably not be able to stop myself.

It’s exhausting isn’t it, I don’t mind if you’re on a diet or not but I don’t know why everyone else needs to hear about it all day. I think sometimes if they’re particularly obsessive they forget not everyone else is too, and forget others don’t want to hear about calories/food/how fatty things are/how ‘naughty’ some food is all day long.

I work with someone like this, recently someone brought in a large box of individual cakes (thank you!) and Diet Person made a big song and dance about whether or not she should have one, how ‘naughty’ they were and how torn she was. If the room fell quiet then she brought it up again. Every time someone got one she would audibly groan and say how jealous she was. It was a huge performance.

Eventually she decided she would have half, so cut one half - but the cakes were small and full of filling so it was just completely mangled the thing. The other half was so squished with all it’s filling hanging out that nobody else wanted it.

On the one hand I feel bad for her - it sounds like a genuinely difficult way to live - but on the other I don’t know why the rest of the office has to play audience to her monologues and theatrics. Have a cake, don’t, diet or don’t, but nobody else needs to hear every minute detail of it all.

That sounds like a nightmare, OP.

Sometimes I’m very glad I work in a predominantly male environment. Football banter beats diet obsession and bitchiness every time.

Makes me very glad to share an office with DH and our 2 dogs tbh......

I used to hate working with other women. In care it was horrendous, such awful backstabbing.

Even when they talk about how ‘huge’ they are as a size 12 or something, inside I’m thinking ‘you do realise there are people listening to you that are the same size or bigger’

This frequently happens on a community/fan page I follow on SM. People will post up snaps of themselves doing the activity and quite blatantly fish for compliments by saying "oh I look so awful, doing it badly", which then gets a whole bunch of simpering "oh no hun you're gorgeous, its perfect" replies. So transparent and I have no idea why so many people fall for it every time.

If anyone calls them on it they turn into "woe is me I'm an awful person going to go and eat worms" wet fish. It's annoying because the page is otherwise really useful and full of tips and info.

PositiveVibez
I know what you mean with the drivel that gets shared.
I couldn't care less about calories or syns or 5:2 or whatever new thing is needed slimming coffee, MLM shake powder crap, aloe Vera tea.

The thing that amuses me the most is that those who drivel on about diets always annoyingly comment on how "lucky" some of us are not to need to diet. It takes a great amount of restraint to point out that the reason I don't diet is because I rarely drinks alcohol, rarely eatnout, don't eat half a pack of biscuits at a time, don't sit tucking into cake whilst talking about naughty it is and I have a healthy attitude to food and exercise. It's not rocket science.

I think for some people dieting clubs and diet chat makes them feel part of a club.

I'm at the other end...
'Ooohh, how do you stay so slim?....No don't give DM any cream cakes, she won't be able to keep that figure.... Do you know she's got 3 kids, she must have no time to eat that's why she's so tiny....I'm soooooo jealous, you don't know what it's like to be always on a diet....' and on and on it goes!

I detest it. Smile and ignore it and just leave them to it.
I feel for you OP, just go in, do your job and go home.
At least you're not shallow:)

We had this culture for a while, 2 blokes and 2 women at the centre of it all... I found it beyond boring, the constant chat about 5-2 versus calorie counting versus keno versus whatever. They always wanted to see what you were having for lunch, everything commented on. Lot's of drama around whether or not they should have that biscuit or bit of birthday cake, then the dullness of how they would go an work off the cake at the gym etc.
They've moved on so we have a bit of this still but not anywhere near as bad as it used to be...

Why can't people mind their own business? Or notice something that is actually meaningful, like whether someone is kind or funny or interesting? It's as if they are looking for unhappiness instead of trying to find things to treasure in the world. Isn't there enough misery. They could be enjoying and learning from some great people, and instead they are judging them. What sour little cows they must be.

All the diet stuff is a load of rubbish anyway. No food is unhealthy, it's just the quantity that you eat it in.

My SIL is a diet and nutrition consultant, eats salad and not a lot else, no dairy, very little carbs, no red meat, no sugar, a tiny amount of chicken and sometimes fish. She had to have both hips replaced and has osteoporosis. She had her first hip replaced at 45yo. She also has the first signs of curvature of the spine, as it is crumbling due to her low bone density.

I am 53 years old, eat everything including butter, cheese, milk, eggs, all types of meat and fish, but also lots and lots of fresh veg, fruit, not a lot of processed food and mainly cook from scratch. I recently had a bone density scan and was told that I have good strong bones with no sign of loss of any bone strength. I am a size 12, and quite happy with my size.

Having worked in offices like this, my response is that my food is my business and nobody else.

This would piss me off too. It's all so small minded. In your shoes I would crave more elevated things to discuss.

Mankind isn't really advancing at all. Rise above every hour you are with these small people OP.

Thank fuck I've always worked in customer facing/caring positions. I don't think I could handle this constant emphasis on food. And yes, the continuous talk about dieting, syns, and ketos is just the other side of the coin to the continual snacking, it's totally normal to have a food stash in the bottom drawer mentality.
Whatever happened to doing your work, eating at designated mealtimes, and STTF up about for the rest of the day?
Sorry OP. There's not really an answer, is there? Just try and do your job and go home when it's over, I guess.

I agree that some sorts of 'diet talk' are insensitive. Others are just dull. Office 'diet clubs' don't strike me as being terribly appropriate - certainly not if they're trying to push people to join. We have a running club at my office where people have been doing Couch to 5K together led by an experienced runner, but that was about fitness, not weight loss, and nobody was pushed to join (in fact, places were limited and they were over-subscribed!)

I also think that some kinds of anti-diet talk are insensitive too. I used to work with someone who was always loudly berating other people for being on diets (and thus brainwashed) and constantly trying to tempt them with cakes (which was just bloody weird as it became quite extreme) and boasting constantly about how she just ate whatever she wanted and how you should eat chips whenever you want because it's 'self-care' etc and every time someone went to the gym she'd go on about how they'd be much happier in the pub. But she was a size 10 and was dishing out all this patronising advice to women who were much bigger than her. She had absolutely no idea what it's like to be physically uncomfortable and how being overweight just makes everything more of an effort and how some women don't feel like themselves when their body type changes for whatever reason, and how for some people being fit is just good for their mental health and self-esteem.

So yeah, don't start an office diet club or slag off Karen in HR because you think she's a porker, but at the same time let other people think what they want to think about their own bodies and don't pull the 'Oh, go on, one biscuit won't hurt! They're really nice! A little of what you fancy does you good! I'll be offended if you don't have one! You're no fun any more' bollocks on someone who has quite clearly sad 'No thanks, I'm watching the calories.'

Knowing me I'd snap and shout out "for the love of God please talk about something else for once". I'm so happy I don't work with such brainless people. No comfort to you op, I know.

I used to work with a total airhead (she really came across as very thick) who wittered in about diet and weight constantly. She was a size 12 and very tall, the most hilarious moment was when for some reason we were measuring our waists. I was a size 16 and she was a 12 but we had exactly the same waist measurement. She was stunned and couldn’t accept that we are totally different shapes. I have a small waist but a massive arse and am very hourglass shaped. She was straight up and down with her waist being almost the same as her hip and no backside.

The day she gained 1/2 a lb oh ffs I was ready to cave her head in with my hole punch. ‘A half lb I can’t believe it, oh god!’ On and on and on. I had recently gained a lot of weight so it made me angry as hell.

Then she brought in photos of her when she was younger and I refused to look at them ‘but look I was a size 8...I was slim’ so was I when I was 18! I was a size fucking 8 too so what no I’m not!

The thing that really bothers me about endless diet talk is that it is almost always the women. You will not find male coworkers doing this. I do not understand why women in the workplace cannot be more supportive of each other. It disturbs me to admit this, but female dominated workplaces are also more prone to bullying and similar behaviors. Nursing, for example, has a high incidence of mental health/bullying complaints. I say this from long experience. Why?

God this sounds fucking awful. It wouldn't be acceptable in my workplace. Not that we're mega formal quite the opposite. I work in the cultural sector and previously in the charity sector and haven't found this kind of chat. I wonder if it's a certain type of workplace or sector? But it does seem quite widesp by pp's comments! Could you say things like I don't like to talk about other people when they aren't here?

I've only been in my job 6 months but it's my first office based role and I'm already bored to the back teeth of the continuous babble about calories and syns. It's the only thing the majority of women talk about there.
I usually disappear round the corner and sit in my car for lunch as I can't be bothered having my lunch analysed 😊

God how boring must these women's lives be if this is all they can think of to talk about. Bloody bitchy of them to slate other people about their size behind their backs too, and especially insensitive of them to do that in front of you as a larger lady.
Tell the boring bastards to change the record, or wear earplugs if your work allows it.

God how boring must these women's lives be if this is all they can think of to talk about.
I'm not sure they have boring lives.
Based on my experiences half are really interesting people and half are vapid and dull.
The interesting half you can have a good conversation with about a range of topics but unfortunately they also find a common topic in dieting and food with the vapid half. If there's enough of the dull uninteresting types then in the name of some form of community spirit, the interesting people who can overlap with them join in and then the dull topic becomes the main topic (because interesting people talking about interesting topics would probably be considered exclusion for anyone whose conversational skills covers who shagged who in love island and whether negative calories from smart water are a thing).

It works both ways
A new colleague started recently and we obviously invited them to join us for lunch
All they did was go on about how healthy we all ate!

I worked in an office (civil service) for years and omg I sympathize! There was about 4 women who tried every slimming club and plan going, would lose weight then stop, go back to normal eating and put it all back on again, rinse and repeat. I knew how many calories were in everything, including fingernails!
The best time was when they decided to go back to slimming world. I'd gone to town to get something and one of them rang and asked me to go to the cake shop and get 4 fresh cream cakes. The reason behind it was the cakes ( and they were massive cakes) would add weight , so when they stopped eating cakes and ate properly for the first week, they'd lose more weight in the first week and get a certificate. Madness. Didn't help that I ate loads but was a size 8/10 but I've always been skinny. They used to moan about that as well but I just ignored them. (And eat more cake!)

So funny these posts. I have to add the people I have worked with have been lovely just slightly food and diet obsessed. It’s definitely part of office culture probably because theres so much sitting around and no “steps”. I don’t count steps but no one has said much about step counting here or has that fad passed?