To ask when and how you became financially stable?

[GabbyChalice400]

Me and DP are young. We have a baby and have been renting our first house for the past year.

But we're always skint, living hand to mouth 24/7. I'd love to not have to worry about money, but it seems like we're never going to get there. We earn less than 40k between us.

Has anyone else been skint and eventually ended up getting on track? Please give me your stories so I can feel somewhat hopeful for our future!

Not very helpful OP but we did it by getting on the housing ladder and saving before ds1 came along. I think it's really hard once you have children. We then went through a period of insecurity while the kids were little and I was a SAHM and things got much better when ds2 went to school and I went back to work.

@GabbyChalice400 could you move to a cheaper area? One of my DC has just moved 2 hours away away in order to be able to buy a home. It’s given them far more security than before.

You’ve had some very good advice on this thread.

I only just feel 'stable' the last couple of years since getting a better paid job (31 now). Was certainly quite skint for a fair few years. I've always been a bit of a worrier though so I tend to work on the assumption that things will go wrong and like to have a cushion in case that happens. I save money every month, shop in Lidl/local market, don't eat meat and buy all furniture second-hand or Ikea. I don't replace things unless they are fully broken (same goes for phones/electronics etc.) I went on cheap UK holidays only for a lot of years and have only just started venturing out further. Lots of people I know have flown all over the world and must have spent loads on holidays and trips. I do know people that have maxed out multiple credit cards doing this but I know that would stress me out way too much. We did have some help with a deposit for our house but we have chosen a small house in an unfashionable (but quiet) area so that our mortgage repayments are low. Also I deliberately picked a career that not too many people do and that is relatively stable. We don't have DC so I think that is why we can afford more fun things and holidays now.

We're already in a cheap part of the NW

Once the youngest went to school and our childcare bill disappeared.

We then were able to start regular savings - even a little each month helps.

It was hand to mouth every month while we paid childcare.

But those childcare bills ensured that we both remained in work so were slowly gaining workplace pension and also professional development.

So we have been able to slowly but surely increase our earnings ever since.

The next big milestone was paying off the mortgage. As childcare costs decreased and salaries went up, and savings went up, we switched to a smart mortgage, where your savings are set against the interest, and overpaid as much as we could.

Now we don't have a mortgage to pay we are concentrating on supporting Uni costs and pensions.

None of it happens overnight, but slow and steady makes a big difference in the end.

(we are not high earners, both work in charitable / not for profit sectors, no perks, bare legal minimum workplace pension)

Just to add, I do think we can fall into a trap of thinking we 'need' all sorts of things that we really don't, that's the society we live in unfortunately. Obv there are plenty of people struggling for basics and this is not aimed at them but I do think a lot of people are addicted to spending/buying (myself included at times!) Examples would be the insane amounts people spend at Christmas and when people redecorate their houses every year, stuff like that. Fine if you can afford it, otherwise not so great.

I would question you being skint on 40k especially if you are in the nw.

Thats a decent wage for a family even down south. Too many people go on about that wouldn't go far down south but I've spent my life down south and it is down to areas and yes there are people in London and other areas of the southeast on less than 30k. They survive and some even thrive.

It's a mindset. But 40k is decent, you need to shop around for everything and cut back on needless items but you are able to save.

I think only people on the lowest income levels cannot save and those with high expenses like rent and childcare that they can't easily change. Because moving is expensive so that old trope of just move cannot always work.

But everyone else can save, they just choose not to. £2 a week or something but it's possible. Start small.

If you are serious op post a statement of affairs to moneysavingexpert.com, debt free wannabe. Loads of great advice there and read the threads on how to live a frugal meaningful life while still enjoying your life.

To that poor man upyhread MitchellR , I think you should have cut off the account a long time ago, 7000 dollars in 3 months and your wife still has access. It is not financially abusive to say no and to cut off the funds when someones spending is so out of control.

I have suffered financial abuse and you would not be doing so by saying no. You need to say no as you may find yourself unable to pay rent or homeless and you have kids. Also you need to have a serious conversation no matter what her reaction is and set out a budget.

Otherwise, you may as well get divorced as she is showing no respect for you and is being very selfish but you also need to act.

Dungeons post at the start of the thread is very good.

You need to take a long term view of your finances and not expect there to be a speedy solution. There an rent usually quick fixes but being long term money smart. Too many people decide to save for a bit, do it and get tired if it and then binge with a big holiday or car or something which sets them back. Having a money-smart mindset means you won't do that because it just won't sit easily with you.

Start with the day to day outgoings and look at everything. Change your bills to cheaper providers. Where you're locked in, out the date in your diary when it ends and move at that point. Look at ways to save:

• buy a mobile second hand (refurbished) outright and have a sim only deal.
• don't pay anything for TV but use FreeView
• go for a phone and broadband contract which is cheap and their basic level and always haggle on price
• cut back on branded food and be strict on treats
• go out cheaply
• set up standing orders for savings even if it's tiny to start with
• don't buy crap for your children
• don't have memeber ships and subscriptions for things like gyms or Netflix
• nothing on credit - buy secondhand upfront if needed
• don't engage in spontaneous spending but plan everything

Look for ways to boost income. Even if one of you works 2 evenings extra per week you'll bring in an extra couple of hundred per month.....and that's for savings. Saving is how you get ahead, not spending.

Things that helped us - smallish house and not trading up but being satisfied with what we had, so payingniff mortgage at around 40. Loving a bargain. Not being bothered about what other people have - so perfectly happy to drive old car and not eat takeaways.

What has been good about it for us - it's allowed us to be mortgage free at 40, to be able to pay for independent school (not cheap in any sense if the word) to buy a buy-to-let outright at 50 and to plan our retirement for 60. And we've never felt were scrimping and saving and going without...its just that were not bothered about a lot of the material stuff that a lot of people feel the need to have. And I'm interested in reading up on best savings rates, good deals on bills, ways to get money by changing bank accounts etc - quite enjoy it all. So I think it's a mindset. There is a critical level beyond whichbyounwilwhich need to get your income (work more if you need to) but beyond that it's just the long term mind set and plugging away that gets you into a strong position.