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AIBU?

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Original poster

To send a angry text?

67 replies

kelliparr · 08/09/2019 18:16

My friend of 15 years has turned all the friendship group against me.
I lent her £400 and asked for it back,she refused saying she was skint.
Then started telling all our friends I was hounding her for money and threatening to take the money from her kids mouths.
Anyway it's been 2 months and they are all going out socialising etc and I have no friends left.
One girl still messages me but won't meet up.
She told me she knew I was in the right and had done nothing wrong.
Do I message this girl and say why are you taking her side?
I'm really hurt and angry

OP posts:
BlondeBumshelll · 09/09/2019 14:27

I'd write in the group chat addressing them all to be honest. I can't stand not knowing why people are being cunts so I will ask if I can.

'Just wondering why you have all decided to cut me from the friendship group when all I have done is ask X for the £400 she owed me as I can't afford to lose this. I have previously lent X £x and got nothing back so asking for the £400 really wasn't unreasonable of me and I'm really hurt that you have all excluded me because of this when I don't think any of you would go to the loss of that amount either. Not sure what you have all been told but that's what has happened and I'm struggling to see how I was wrong and deserve to be ignored now?'

lvsel · 09/09/2019 16:29

Isnt it funny how you lend people money with no issues or problems yet some how when you ask for it back you are all types of evil

Happens everytime

Original poster
kelliparr · 09/09/2019 16:31

Honestly I feel so low.
I've just sat and cried all day.
My friend (who I lent money too ) is writing all over Facebook about the weekend night out..deliberately rubbing it in my face.
I've been a lovely friend to her,lent her money,bought her a outfit for her birthday night out,let her stay at mine anytime she wanted,been supportive etc and this is how I'm thanked.
I can't get over loosing all these people out of my life in one go.

OP posts:
31RueCambon75001 · 09/09/2019 17:03

Block her.

Deep down she knows she wronged you.

It's a long game but ime you may find that in a year you end up vindicated completely. You have to let it go. You can hold your head up.

At some point you are bound to meet one of them on her own at which point you could assess if it felt right to say you feel you were cut out for being kind enough to do a good deed.

When i was aboutb15 i lent my friend £30 to buy xmas presents. I had a feeling i wouldnt get all of it back but i thought she might try to pay some of it back. People are so predictable. She acted like id gone round to herhouse with a baseball bat when i politely asked if she could give me a bit of it back. Her mother even came over to my mother to try and paint me as a loanshark!! My mother was having none of it and very very politely said through a stapled on smile "rue has learned a hard lesson here".

Ticklemeelmo · 09/09/2019 17:03

Poor you, she sounds like a horrible user. Could you try meeting new friends through gym classes or other hobbies?

I know it's easy to say when you're not involved, but I don't think these people were true friends, and now they've shown their true colours.

Try not to let it get you down, and I would delete Facebook apps other social media off your phone for now so you aren't going to be subjected to their posts.

Effiedg · 09/09/2019 17:14

Be careful with the girl who has been messaging you. If she contacts you again please try and ignore her because it occurs to me that she is/was just fishing for the person who owes you money. It all sounds a bit sneaky to me.

Effiedg · 09/09/2019 17:16

PS Just completely ignore all of them and let them wonder what you think and what you're up to.

31RueCambon75001 · 09/09/2019 17:19

Or maybe she is torn but is weak and is choosing a larger friendship group over doing the right thing.

I have tried to do that in the past and im not charismatic enough. In the past, i did thecright thingvin a groupbandcended up the unforgiven one whileva more dynamic charismatic woman in the
group was forgiven!

lovemenorca · 09/09/2019 17:34

Happens everytime

No, it really really doesn’t
Not amongst proper true friends

combatbarbie · 09/09/2019 18:14

@OP let her find some other mug to leach off and take this as a valuable lesson learnt. Xx

combatbarbie · 09/09/2019 18:16

And definitely instigate small claims court claim against her. You have nothing to lose

IWouldPreferNotTo · 09/09/2019 18:22

I am confused why so many people think smalls claims court is an easy way to get your money back. Yes. It is cheap and easy to get the initial judgement but turning that into money in your pocket is a lot harder. If they are still not paying then you've got more fees up front to get bailiffs in and you need to be sure the person has enough auctionable assets for it to be worth it.

Having a judgement is no use when the person has no assets.

Aria999 · 09/09/2019 18:22

That sucks OP. But what it means is they were never really friends or worth having as friends, and now you know.

I only once lent money to a friend and I was very uncomfortable about it. I kept asking every few days when she could repay. In hindsight I think that was because I didn't really trust her and though she did pay me back she turned out to be batshit crazy and we went NC shortly after.

I guess the moral is a real friend will not ask you to lend them money, certainly not repeatedly after not paying back the first time.

You deserve better friends. Now these people are out of your life I hope you will have a chance to find some.

Outlookmainlyfair · 09/09/2019 19:28

What horrible people! Poor you the only thing you can do is move on from the 'friendship' and divorce the idea of friendship from the business of getting your money back.
It is not you, so many people have had friends turn. And from experience I know how much it hurts, try not to let it take over!

ColaFreezePop · 09/09/2019 19:36

They aren't your friends so block and ignore all of them.

In future do not lend friends or even family money. Give it to them if you can afford it. If you cannot say you don't have it.

bombomboobah · 09/09/2019 21:29

watch and wait.... if that's how she behaves she won't keep her friends for long

pictish · 09/09/2019 21:50

Aw OP I feel terrible for you. What a clutch of cunts. They are behaving childishly, abysmally!

They have made you a scapegoat because they are insecure. I know that sounds like a platitude but it’s not. Happy people don’t behave this way. Something is wrong somewhere and I don’t think it’s you.

My advice is to stay quiet and keep your grief private. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing the impact their cruelty has had on you. Cry lots but at home. I’m really so sorry. You don’t deserve this at all. Xx

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