Girls are eager to please

[topsagain]

I have a DD and a DS. My DD is eager to please the teachers and is well behaved and will do anything to get praise, which she responds to. My DS doesn't care, actively dislikes being told to do something and resists at every oppurtunity. Is this the nature of girls vs boys in general.

@FatherFintanFay I meant when we were at school so we haven't modelled it, I know not all children are the same, was just saying mine are like that

Well I'm over 50 and still a people pleaser so the don't give 2 fucks attitude you're supposed to acquire at 40 odd has somehow passed me by..

I agree with what you're saying op.

I stopped being a people-pleaser in my teens, having seen the damage it caused my mother and those around her — and, despite being a high-achieving student who went on the win a major university entrance scholarship, a male teacher consistently described me as ‘disobliging’ and ‘aggressive’. I wasn’t. I never broke rules. I simply didn’t fit with his idea of what girls ‘should’ be like.

My DS is a more anxious to please personality, but I will be bringing him up to be kind but assertive and with good boundaries.

To want to please you have to care what others think of you. If you don't really care about other people's opinion of you, you probably won't try to please.

Reading self-help that explains that other people are concerned with themselves rather than what you are doing or whether you are nice can help to curb this. I think trying to please all the time can lose you respect. You need to build self-esteem so other's imagined impression of you doesn't matter so much.

I thought it was the falling estrogen levels that reduced the caring urge. So you care less over 40 about other's lives (and being nice to them and making them happy) and can concentrate on your own life and yourself. And by the time you are 60 you don't give a shit .

"but why is always boys who are disruptive in class?"

Not so in my son's class. The most disruptive pupil is a girl. She certainly has no interest in pleasing anyone!