Missing dc when she goes back to school

[Snooky84]

It feels like I'm the only one that loves the school holidays and hates the first day back at school.
I have loved spending time with my dd and still had lots I wanted to do but never got time to and she's growing up so fast. I loved the relaxed pace of the summer and all the laughs.
I don't if it's because I struggled to conceived and I feel so bless to have my children that enjoy time with them so much. But it really grates on me is parents celebrating kids going back.

1. If said in front of your child surely it would upset them to think even their own parent doesn't want to spend time with them.
2. If you don't like spending time with children why did you have them (this is an honest question not a judgement)

I know I'm about to get shot down in flames here, but I'm just wondering if anyone else enjoys the school holidays and I'm not the only one.

I love spending time with my children and will really miss DD1 once she starts school next week. However, I know she will love it there and have far more fun than with just me.

Sometimes parents are pleased the summer holidays are over because it’s been a stressful juggle with annual leave and covering the time off.

Yes I agree my dd loves school. Although I sometime dreamily Google home schooling (at the same time at millionaire house for sale that I can't afford ). I totally believe going to school is right for my dd. I just don't get the excitement, dancing and posts on social media.

I love my kids. I don’t love the bickering, the endless questions, the noise, the mess or the lack of routine in school holidays.

I do like spending time with my children but I don't get enough annual leave to spend all summer with them. So, I'm glad they are back at school as it's a struggle to balance child care. Also, at 10 and 12 years they don't want to hang out with me so much and spend more time than I'd like on YouTube, Xbox etc. They've had a break to recharge their batteries but I personally enjoy the return to routine.

I'm pleased that my daughter has gone back to school because the juggle of my husband and I taking annual leave and finding childcare is really stressful. It's also all over the place for her so it's good to be back in a routine.

I did love our days together but I'm exhausted after the holiday as a whole.

How old is your DD?

Come back when she’s fourteen and stroppy and wants constant entertainment but not the entertainment you’re offering because she’s BORED and doesn’t want to hang around with you doing stupid crafts or baking. And needs money to go into town AGAIN to meet her friends.

Most people enjoy lots of aspects of the holidays but coordinating childcare and work can make it exhausting.

I think it’s because a lot of parents aren’t able to take time off with their children and spend quality time with them. So for them, school holidays = expensive childcare, a lot of juggling, feeling like you’re dragging your child from pillar to post just to be able to work, feeling guilty you can’t afford holidays etc. Plus all of this upheaval of routine can lead to negative behaviours from children. I think if everyone was blessed with 6 weeks off work, and enough money to be able to do whatever we wanted (within reason!) then it would be more enjoyable. Reality is though, that a lot of people are faced with 6 weeks of ‘what am I going to do?!’

Summer holidays can also be expensive, even if you don't go away....

Of course I want to spend time with my children but coping with 2 children, one with additional needs that can be difficult to manage, who argue all the time can be very draining.

The summer holidays can be very expensive - I work but don't get paid over the summer holidays so have very limited funds and this means that trips out and activities either have to be free and close or few and far between.

I like being with my children but I also need time by myself to rest and unwind - again, with a very full on child who has adhd and asd this is next to impossible.

Loving your children and loving your time and space are not incompatable.
And in fact enjoying your own time and life is a good example to set.

I love school holidays. Every second I savour.
I also love time to myself.

YABU

If you don't like spending time with children why did you have them (this is an question not a judgement)

This is such a ridiculous question... how on earth are you supposed to know before having children which bits of it you're going to like and hate? That you're going to adore the baby phase but hate the endless questions of a 5 year old? That you're going to find the toddler years a nightmare but really enjoy have teens? Knowing in advance that you're going to find the summer holidays hard isn't something most people would actually have a clue about, and even if they did it would hardly be a reason to not have children at all. Parenting is a very long game, so maybe some people struggle with the summer holidays but are brilliant at some of the omany many many other parts of raising a kid

I looked after my DGD during the school holidays and I really miss her now she's back at school.

I like watching them grow in independence. Whole idea of pattern hood is to make yourself redundant. How old is your DD? I presume she must be little

I looked after my DGD during the school holidays and I really miss her now she's back at school.

Mine is back to college soon, we've had ten special weeks.
I'll miss her.
We're very close and have never, luckily, fallen out.
Yet also, from past experience I will breathe a bit of a sigh of relief when I get some time to myself, and know that she's back with her peers.

@Oakelmash yes!

But it really grates on me is parents celebrating kids going back

You come across as a bit smug OP. Some women go out to work and have to juggle childcare throughout the holidays, which I can’t imagine is easy or fun. So I guess some of them will breathe a sigh of relief when their kids are back at school.

There’s lots of reasons why people are glad to see the start of the new term. They don’t love their dc any less than you

What is it you wanted to do but couldn't? Why are you mourning that instead of lo coming at what you can share in now?

Why don't you focus on being present and connected with her during her term time experiences? Just because it's different doesn't mean it's less meaningful.

Home schooling wouldn't be anything like the school holidays. Much like when people get jobs doing their hobby and wind up hating it. It would fundamentally alter the dynamic of your relationship.

One child, 6 weeks off work and an unlimited budget = cracking summer break.
But multiple children bickering and enjoying very different things/childcare juggling/very limited funds = difficult summer break.

OP, I’m not trying to be unkind but it pays to step out of your own situation and look at the situation from different angles. Personally, I was v lucky to have six weeks off but I totally appreciate the stress and cost of childcare for those parents who work throughout the summer. Everyone’s circumstances are different.

Looking not 'lo coming'

It sounds like you're in the very privileged position of not having to work. Most people do, which is why it's stressful trying to find childcare.

I have a 19 year old, 18 year old, 16 year old, 13 year old step son (who lives with his mum during the week and stops at the weekend) 5 year old, 2 year old with severe physical disabilities and 1 year old.
Believe me I have been through the teenage years and loved summer then and missed them when they returned to school.
I do understand thar child care is an issue that causes stress. But it people saying 'let school deal with my little shits now' and 'woopee it's party time for mummy; kids are at school'. Suggests that it's the kids that are the problem not the organising childcare.

I always miss DD when the holidays are over. She's 16 now

I adore my children but I fucking hated the summer holidays. My 4 and 9yo DSs are at the perfect age for endless bickering, fighting, and scrapping but also lacking the emotional maturity to understand that they should do something separately for 5 minutes to calm down, meaning they wound each other up CONSTANTLY. Add to that the problem of a very limited budget, most of their friends (and mine) were away for most of the holidays, and that I was constantly bombarded by endless requests/begging/whingeing for snacks, sweets and time on their tablets, and you might be able to see why I was barely clinging onto sanity by week 6. I've never been so relieved to get them back to school. I refuse to be shamed for that.