They gave the job I accepted to someone else

[DettolElephant]

So a couple of weeks ago, I accepted a job offer (I am a nanny). I was very excited to start and they were equally as happy that I accepted. After reading my CV and references Lindsay was very keen to see me, apologised when a potential meeting fell through because she wouldn't get home on time but reiterated that she still definitely wants it to happen and whenever I had time again to please let her know. So off to a good start I thought as shes showing so much interest before the initial interview even.
Long story short, we meet & the interview is amazing, she tells me that she wants me, asks if she has much competition and is very keen for me to meet her husband who was away at the time. I go the next day and it just feels like an extension of the day before. They both tell me they'd like for me to look after their daughter and when can I let them know the answer? I still have a few interviews (& a few job offers already on the table) so tell them once I've had those I will let them know. They know my rate right from the start and have no qualms with it. They call me 3 times to make sure we're both happy with the set up. Adam, the husband even called me whilst at the airport to discuss the small concerns I had & we iron them out whilst he is waiting for his flight. I end up accepting their offer because they seemed like such a genuine and nice family who were willing to negotiate to accommodate their nanny & their keenness sold me.
Lindsay calls my references and says they were all amazing, I already know this because they told me. (I have great relationships with all the families I have worked for) & is looking forward to having me. I go and look after the little one for half a day just as a little warming period and L & A seem just as lovely as ever & nothing seems amiss. When the stand in nanny comes for handover, she says "I'm sure you'll get the job, she only has 1 more person to interview" Huh??? I've already got the job! She says she must have made a mistake but alarm bells are ringing now. I message them the next day to ask when I will be receiving my contract and they reply that they've been so busy they'll get back to me asap.
2 days pass and Adam calls and tells me that they found someone with a lower rate who has accepted the job. I was stunned. 1 because they offered me the job and I accepted it. I didn't dream that or their excitement once I accepted. 2. They knew my rate from the start, we negotiated and were both happy, or so I thought. 3. Who does that!?
I'm so shocked but try to negotiate again so that it's cheaper for them, maybe they'll still have me. (Wrong, I know) They came back to me the next day with the same answer.
They behaved as if I was just a nanny in the running and I knew it was between this other person and myself. I have the texts, emails etc to prove it and they even made a whatsapp group for us! I removed myself from it once they told me what they'd done.
No apology, only sorry that 'I didn't get it this time' and Lindsay who was the main point of contact went radio silent and left it all down to Adam.

So now I am back to the drawing board after rejecting other jobs in favour of theirs. Would I be U to send them a text message letting them know how wrong of them it was to do that? Or do I just leave it alone?

Thanks in advance

(Names were fakes ofcourse)

I would send a short, polite factual email stating that they are in breach of contract. Along with an invoice for half day's pay.

I also hope "Lindsay and Adam" recognise themselves for reprehensible, inconsiderate behaviour.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis the OP said she has been paid for the half day she worked so why would she invoice them?

I think the start date was in the whatsapp group that I deleted or was said over the phone but I accepted via text which I still have. I am going to get in touch with BAPN on Monday and see what they say about it

Congratulations! 🌷

You’ve dodged a MASSIVE bullet!!

They’d have been complete curbs to work for!

I think proving Liss if earning etc in the small claims court would be more effort than its worth tbh

I’d just walk away and look for a MUCH nicer family. None of the nannies I know get paid a cash portion they all get paid properly & legally.

The only thing you did wrong here was to go back offering them ‘a better deal’. Don’t do that again. You know your worth - don’t start off compromising on that.

I hope you find a lovely family soon!

Do you have anything in writing - a text, anything? If so, I’d be writing to them asking for your week’s notice pay since you’ve turned down other offers to work for them.

Oh come on

Lucky escape
They led you up garden path
But it’s obviously a big deal to secure the right nanny. They liked you but wanted to keep options open and then they found someone they preferred. They said it was down to money but clearly wasn’t

Small claims court???

No. No chance. It’s if people owe you money. They don’t. You did a half day work for them, which they paid you do.

It’s disappointing OP but time to move on

If they wanted to pay you partly cash in hand, you could refer them to HMRC...

You’ve dodged a bullet my friend !

If you’d have got the job, they’d have done things like this to you further down the line because that’s the sort of people they are I’m sorry.
When people show you who they are - believe them 💐

They've been real shits but I don't think you gain anything by texting them - it won't change anything.

I agree it's maybe a lucky escape. At least you aren't working for someone who has no respect for you or your time.

Could you approach the other offers you turned down in case any of them are still looking?

Sorry you've had such a crap experience

@CustardySergeant - oh didn't see where she said she'd been paid for that? No invoice then. Just short factual note.

They sound like difficult employers.

Because they found someone they liked who would do the job cheaper? That’s every employer. Nobody takes on the higher priced candidate unless the lower priced ones aren’t any good.

The fact they were still taking interviews indicates they weren’t entirely happy with their choice, no matter what they said. Its not like they would say “we’re not entirely happy but you’re the best we can find at the moment”

These people are looking for someone to look after their children, the6 have the right to choose whomever they want.

Sure, get picky about doing a half day and make them pay but wrong to suggest they are awful.

Because they found someone they liked who would do the job cheaper? That’s every employer. Nobody takes on the higher priced candidate unless the lower priced ones aren’t any good.

Once you've offered someone a job, you shouldn't keep looking for a candidate. If they weren't actually happy with OP, they shouldn't have offered her the job. It's not fair to accept her on the basis that it's only until a better offer comes along, especially if they aren't being open about that.

I think their behaviour is pretty hard to defend tbh.

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

I used to be a nanny, and there are some employers out there who either haven’t got a clue or just don’t care how they behave. Most nannies have come across crap like this, I had trying to make me work without a contract, trying to get out of paying my tax and NI, and I remember about 10 yrs ago replying to a job advert on to be told I was the wrong nationality, I’m British, the job was in London but they were only interested in applicants from Eastern Europe .

Personally I wouldn’t bother getting back in touch with them (unless it was via a solicitor) they wouldn’t care. My old nanny circle, we were very close knit, we all knew which families/employers to avoid, hopefully yours is the same .

As others have said it’s upsetting but you have dodged a bullet. Good luck with you job hunt.

Once you've offered someone a job, you shouldn't keep looking for a candidate. If they weren't actually happy with OP, they shouldn't have offered her the job. It's not fair to accept her on the basis that it's only until a better offer comes along, especially if they aren't being open about that.

It happens. A lot. Every recruitment consultant tells me not to do anything until I have it in writing as they frequently see verbal offers withdrawn. She wasn’t what they wanted, the found someone who was. Time to forget it and move on.

It happens. A lot.

Lots of things happen a lot and it doesn't mean they're defensible.

No reputable employer would pull a stunt like this. I was once being advised by a recruitment agent on an ongoing basis and I mentioned a job I thought I should apply for. She advised me not to, because the firm was notorious for messing candidates around. Bad employers soon feel the consequences of their actions.

It's one of the hard parts of being a nanny, in particular, that you are often dealing with individuals who either don't know how to behave or don't care about behaving badly. And just because it's a common problem, doesn't mean we should be defending it.

I didn't think there was a genuine contract until it was in writing with all terms agreed.

I know that's how my situation felt when I accepted a job 8m ago. Took months of filling in screening forms & so on before contract was signed, and everyone told me (I fully believed) that I had no obligation to take the job until contract was signed. So they would have had no obligation to take me on, either, until signed.

I think you've dodged a bullet here too. Some good advice above but good luck looking for new positions you're obviously in demand and shouldn't have too much hassle finding something else suitable.

I’m not clear if the offer was in writing and you’d accepted?

If not, whilst a verbal offer would be binding, the burden will be on the claimant providing evidence.

It sounds ask though these two were canny enough to communicate only verbally, so you will have your work cut out.

Once written offer and contracts are in place, if the job is withdrawn the employer needs to pay notice to the employee as per the terms of the contract.

It sounds that your were both at cross purposes as I’ve never had a job offer with “we want you but we still have people to see”. A binding offer would be a letter or conversation offering basic t and c unequivocally. Even without a full written contact at that stage the offer (if unequivocally accepted ) neither side should keep looking.

I was once told at interview ok great well I think next step is we will write to you with an offer. Exactly those words, but that letter ( and indeed no other letter (phone call, communication etc, ever came). I wasn’t going to accept so it was fine but I did think I’d been offered it even though that I think was slightly vague. I presume however the interviewer ( he is known as an odd ball in our profession but as we are all rarely in the office and am largely self reliant for clients I’d have been unlikely to see him much so had happily gone for the interview, as my firm was stopping the area of work I preferred so needed to move quickly, but this firm, had a set up which wouldn’t have suited me) was just too inept to know what to say and tried to end on a positive note. Saw him in court months later by that time I was at a far far better firm than his so ended well.

Not the right job for you, you will find something soon.

I think they were probably pissed off if when things went so well and they offered you the job that you said you would let them know after you had been to interviews for further positions.
Then why didnt they just say at the time that they were no longer interested. Why ring 3 times to check, pretend to be really keen and offer her the job to accept again?

However OP I do find it strange that you were sick of job hunting and yet didnt accept a job offer from a client you really liked, who was happy with your rates.

I’m a nanny too and I’ve had similar happen. I went to three interviews with one family, they offered me the job and I accepted. They then pulled out just as the agency was doing the contract.

I recently went to an interview (again through an agency). Got there and the mum told me she had already employed someone to start in a few days time but that they just wanted to talk to a few more people 🙄

They didn’t behave well at all

But this isn’t selecting a painter decorator.
This is someone they are going to entrust their young child with.
They said it was down to cost. But when you lowered, they still stuck with the other person

They liked you but offered you the job
Then perhaps someone else contacted them, interested in the position, they interviewed and preferred.

For the sake of keeping to an offer I’d made but nothing further formalised, no way would I not take the person who I really wanted to look after my child