To think that if couples post regular photos

[IceAndASlice123]

Of themselves all loved up on Facebook, that they arent really all that happy?

My OH doesn’t even like any of my posts let alone appear in photos with me. Neither of us are particularly photogenic so it’s probably a blessing

I guy I know who had an affair and got caught and given a second chance has been plastering pics of himself and the wife on overload the last 2 years
Picture perfect couple picture perfect family
She must be really tolerant because I think I'd find that more embarrassing like trying too hard to prove himself but each to their own I suppose

I agree with you. Always the ones who post how in love they are who end up splitting up some way along the line

I don't necessarily agree that the number of photos correlates to levels of happiness although gushy posts can be a indicator of dickness, I mean why write a post to your wife about how amazing she is when you could just tell her in person? However what is noticeable with people who share photos, posts, updates that when something is wrong in their relationship the nature of what they share or don't share makes it obvious something is wrong & often they don't seem to realise this.

YABU, there's no correlation.

Thats just something people say to make themselves feel better when they see a post about a loved up couple. Similar to saying "the popular kids at school always end up having shit lives" and "super attractive people have bad personalities". Nope! Often popular kids go on to become successful, popular adults. Sometimes weirdos grow up and are still weird! Often model looking types are really lovely and kind people.

What bizarre logic! I post pics of me and DH because he’s my DH, we spend loads of time together, if I go and do nice things (the sort of occasion where I’d take a photo - I don’t take selfies at home for no reason, for example) then he will be there with me! I post pictures of me, DH and our family to share with family as we live abroad and don’t see them much. We are blissfully happy!

You’d kind bitter tbh. Maybe they are happy? Not everyone is in bad relationships

*you sound

Interesting, my friend does this. She posts gushy picture of them both, he posts gushy responses. Always have.

He’s been having an EA, possibly more but that bit isn’t proven, for over a year. OW likes the posts.

In the other, she's simply a bitch who treats her husband horribly, and he's too cowardly to stand up to her.

What a horrible, nasty way to describe the victim of an abusive relationship!

I post the odd photo of us together but never gushing statuses. In fact I rarely post statuses at all. DH does nothing on FB except like friends’ posts and comment occasionally. I do know people whose lives are not what they appear on FB though.

Im inclined to believe you in some extent judging by my fb. When people are struggling in rl (talking children and babies here not marriage) i find they do post more on fb of happy pictures. Its a great help as i can then offer help to various people who i see daily in rl. When things settle they dont post so much. Works in reverse for me though. I dont post anything when struggling as no time and post more when everything ok. Everyone struggles at different points so you have to know the couple to know if ok. Sounds like your couple is really loved up.

I’m not even friends with my husband on Facebook. Not sure what this says about how happy we are

Who knows what really goes on in people's private lives in general?

But I can't stand it when I know it's blatant hypocrisy. A close friend of mine is choosing to keep forgiving her partner- so I have to respect that - but I know in great detail what a scumbag he is to her.

His Instagram is OTT in projecting how much of a good father and husband he is.

He makes me sick.

That's sounds healthy to me RefuseTheLies, lots of trust and nothing to prove :)

There's a woman I used to work with and she does this all the time plus all the gushing posts about how much she loves her children...I know for a fact that she's had at least one affair and has told 2 separate people that she's not that keen being a mum and wouldn't do it again if she could start over.
Perfectly normal to feel that but it does make the several posts a week with #makingmemories and #lovesofmylife etc seem a little forced.

There's another couple who married 3 years ago and on FB they mark their anniversary every month. Tempted to see if they go the distance!

I knew someone would accuse
me of being bitter.
I don't even really know her so why would I be. I just wondered if the once/fortnightly photos of a new trip away or a concert could really be a reflection that life is really brilliant and that it can be the case that people have it that good.

The most gushy friend I have was actually on the verge of kicking her H out

All those happy family pics (daily), always making memories, to cover up (for whom?) the cracks in the marriage.

Now almost nothing

I work in mental health.

General rule of thumb is that the sufferers of DV and/or abuse are gushy happy couples on social media.

Particularly if one party is on the others with lots of i love you and only person in the world etc. Red flag for controlling behaviour.

Just an observation of course.

I think most couples are just having a great time AND like using Facebook.

Think about it - this is your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. They’re SUPPOSED to be the person that you love loads, love spending fine with. So why wouldn’t it be more likely that you’re just (apologies for this ) “living your best lives”?

Yeah, there’ll be other reasons:

• trying to convince yourself or others you’re not unhappy
• wanting to show off
• one party smothering and controlling the other
• one party knowing they’re in for a kicking it they don’t present the happy gratitude that their abuser demands

But most people?
They’re just couples who are happy and they know it and they really want to show it 🤷‍♀️

This is like when people try to make themselves less envious by saying “I bet it’s all on credit cards” when others buy things / go on holiday. No - plenty of people have had a combination of hard work, opportunity, family support, luck - and can simply afford those things.

I’m only friends on Facebook with people I care about. When they post happy couple stuff, I take it at face value and am happy for them.

just wondered if the once/fortnightly photos of a new trip away or a concert could really be a reflection that life is really brilliant and that it can be the case that people have it that good.

A photo every two weeks of a couple doing something isn't that extreme is it? Especially if they don't have kids and are free to go out and do stuff.

I think that's about how often I post a pic of our family on FB, if we have been doing something nice - a walk with a good view, that kind of thing.

For me gushy posts are reserved for birthdays, anniversaries, fathers day and mother's day.

They do both have kids and its probably more once a week. Always of a new place or holiday.
Just an observation. I am not raging with bitterness or hoping deep down they are really unhappy. As I As I said, if its genuine they are very fortunate indeed to be that happy.

I find in general the more people are on SM telling everyone how great their life is the more unhappy they really are.
My sister is with an abusive man I can always tell when things are coming to a head again when the gushing posts about how much in love they are start increasing. In her case her DP is friends with her on FB and very jealous and possessive so he is always saying why haven’t you mentioned me, are you pretending to be single, you’re a whore trying to attract men posting that picture without mentioning me etc. I worry about women who don’t post anything without their DP.

The phrase 'the lady doth protest too much' springs to mind when I see fb posts like these. And for a few replies you've had here op.

Yy Shakespeare knew a thing or two in regards to human behaviour.

s